Family Always
by Criminalmindsaddict16
Summary: What if instead of going after Emily's life, Doyle had thought of a better way to make her suffer? By putting the only family she's truly felt she belonged to, in jeopardy. What lengths is Emily willing to do to protect her family and who will be caught in the crossfire? Mild language and violence in this story.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is purely for my and others' enjoyment.**

 **Meglio un giorno da leone che cento da pecora.- Better one day as a lion than a hundred as a sheep (Italian Proverb)**

Tap-tap. The sharp click of Emily Prentiss's stiletto boots echoed against the Virginia pavement. To the few passerby, she looked like one of the many business people on their way home from work, but then again, looks could be deceiving. While her stride and posture echoed a confident woman, well-assured of her place in the world, she felt anything but. There were few, if any, that knew the woman behind the mask she wore, day after day. The mask that she built the first time she had spun her web of lies, a web so entangling, she doubted if she would ever be free. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a flash of movement among the shadows, doing little to ease her inner turmoil. Most would take this as a sign to increase vigilance, but Emily did not break her stride. Instead, she continued on to her destination, a small park in the center of the city. A nail-bitten hand placed the two coffees she was carrying down on an aluminum table while the other pulled back the chair.

With a look of exhausted weariness, Emily sat in the chair and waited. The darkness of the twilight night did nothing to reduce the anxiety building upon her. Surely he would have been here by now, she had been out in the open for far too long for him to have not made a move. Just as she was about to chalk the night as a failure, she felt an all-too-familiar hand grip her shoulder. Without turning her head she noted, "I knew you were watching me." The hand on her shoulder tightened, "What's the expression?" asked the owner of the hand. "Keep your friends close and your enemies under surveillance." "I've been here for two hours. You should know better than to keep a lady waiting." The man stood in front of her now, "It seems hypocritical," he replied, "seeing as I had to wait seven years."

As he took the seat across from her, Emily said, "Hello Ian." The man's eyes flashed at the mention of his name, "Hello Lauren. Oh, wait. Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident, didn't she?" Tremors ran up Emily's body and it was also she could do to keep her voice steady, "What do you want?" "You." With a slight smile at her look of surprise, Ian continued, "Not today. Don't worry about that. But soon." Guessing this would be as good a chance as she'd get Emily asked, "I've got a Glock leveled at your crotch. What's to stop me from taking you and the little ones out right now?" Ian smirked at this, "You'd never make it back to your car and you know it. Tell me, does the lovely Penelope know the truth about you? Or is she too busy watching movies with Derek to care? Here you are, all alone, while Aaron sits at home with his son. And why didn't Dave and Ashley invite you to their game night? Maybe they thought you'd be on the metro with Dr. Reid. That one does have some quirks."

Emily straightened at the mention of her friends, "Come near my team," she warned through gritted teeth, "and I will end you." "Why should I?" Ian snapped, "You had no reservations of coming near my team, nor my family for that matter." A slight flush spread across Emily's cheeks at the mention of family, "I was just doing my job." she murmured. Anger flashed through Ian's eyes, "Well, in that case," he murmured, "perhaps I should move on to the more pleasant aspects of my job. súil le haghaidh súil." _An eye for an eye._ Realizing the inner meaning of his words, Emily leaned forward, her gun pressed against his abdomen. "I thought I just told you, come near my team and I will end you." Ian chuckled, "Ah, how I have missed you Lauren. But I fear that you will be too indisposed to be a threat to me."

In the second it took for Prentiss to process his words, a baseball bat made contact with the side of her head with a sickening crack. Adrenaline rushed through her body as she turned towards her attacker, one of Ian's plethora of goons. "That should've knocked her out boss!" he muttered indignantly. Ian chuckled as he rose, "Lauren was always a fighter, just be sure she's alive when you're done with her." Dread turned the blood in Emily's veins to ice, _What did he mean by when you're done with her?_ She drew her gun, only to realize it was no longer in her possession. "Looking for this?" the goon snarled, pistol-whipping her with her own glock. Blow after blow rained upon her face and abdomen, forcing her to curl in upon herself instead of defending herself.

As blood clouded her eyes, she noticed Ian removing her phone from her purse and dialing _911_. "Hello?" he said, sounding more like a Texas cowboy than an Irish weapons dealer, "Yes, I was walking my dog through Liberty Park and noticed these three men beating this woman. I managed to scare them off before they did any more damage, but she's been beaten to a pulp. She's barely breathing and she's not conscious. Please you've got to send someone!" While she couldn't hear the garbled reply of the emergency operator, Emily knew that an ambulance would be dispatched shortly. _Why was Ian calling for medical services? Why didn't he just take her while she was incapacitated, and get the just revenge he desired so much? What could he possibly have planned that would be worse than this?_ Between the pounding of her head and the heaviness of her swollen eye, it was all Emily could do to stay awake. She did not trust Ian to not inflict more damage to her already battered body. It was only when she heard the distinctive scream of emergency sirens did she allow the darkness to pull her away. She did not even notice the piece of scrap paper that had been placed in her jacket pocket.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is purely for my and others' enjoyment.**

Dr. Spencer Reid had never planned on buying a piano, to be honest, he had never seen the point. Between the cases he was handed at the Bureau and the number of intellectual journals he corresponded with, there simply weren't enough creative juices flowing through the young genius' brain to focus on taking on a hobby. He had also seen it as a waste of time, if only because the music could easily be rewritten as math. It wasn't until meeting Sammy that he had found that, while simple in some aspects, there was a beauty in the melody created by his own hands. In a way, music was its own language, with the true meaning only known to those who played. He hadn't told anyone of this, assuming that the others would either be too busy to care or would tease him. While he had become somewhat accustomed to the good-natured needling of his teammates, there were times when some of the comments hurt.

While his mother had always told him that he was incredible and that he had nothing to be ashamed of for being so extraordinary, he felt his life would be so much easier if he was ordinary. He loved his abilities and how they made his job that much easier, but just once, he wished that he could relate better with his peers. He winced as his eidetic memory replayed the conversation he'd had with Seaver, " _I'm sorry," "For what?" "Asking."_ She had come up to him and tried to find a common ground for their interests, and all he'd done was lecture her about how her show was a rip off of _Doctor Who_ ; not one of his finer moments. Ashley had been with the team for a month, yet he was still so awkward around her. He suspected it largely had to do with, in addition to being incredibly pretty, she was closest anyone had ever been to him in age. Although she was twenty-six and he was twenty-nine, the three-year age difference was nothing compared to the age difference he shared with his teammates. Hotch easily had twenty years on him and both Morgan and Prentiss had at least a decade on him. Rossi was old enough to be his father, and Garcia had been in college by the time his dad had left. The only one, before Seaver, even remotely close to him in age was JJ, and even then, there had been a five-year age difference.

The thought of his perky blond friend brought a nostalgic smile to his face, it didn't matter that he saw her for brunch every weekend, it just wasn't the same as the 1,820 days they'd spent working cases together. The practical jokes they'd played on Morgan, the laughs they'd had with Garcia, the bond they formed; it was all gone. He knew his feelings were ludicrous, JJ wasn't dead and it was normal for co-workers to come and go, but he couldn't help feeling that her exit had ripped a hole in his heart. Their relationship had always been more intimate than that of anyone else on the team, never romantic, but stronger than what would arise from the normal bonds between co workers. He had been to talk to her about almost everything, from dating advice to dealing with the emotional backlash of dealing with his mom, without the fear that she would ever judge him or repeat his words to the others; no matter how dark they may be. Not even Morgan was privy to every worry he had.

There had only been two times where Spencer hadn't been entirely forthcoming with JJ. The first had been after his rescue from Tobias Hankle, and the second had been, well, now. He had been experiencing excruciatingly painful headaches for the past two months, but had told no one, not even JJ. It wasn't that he didn't trust them or that he didn't think they would care, but that he did not wish to see them worry. They all had enough on their plates without him adding his problems to the mix. No, it was better for everyone if he kept it to himself, at least until he had a better understanding of the tricks his mind might be playing on him.

The warmth of a body in the seat next to him roused him from his musings, if only because he always took the subway when the minimal amount of passengers would be present. Evidently this would not be the case tonight, for it seemed everyone and their brother wanted to ride this train. Quelling an exasperated sigh, Reid attempted to shift his focus back to the internal argument he was having with himself. Would he or wouldn't he mention the headaches to anyone? "Rough night?" his neighbor asked. Reid glanced over, immediately taking in the ruggedly-built older man. He would appear young if not for the grey in his hair and beard, and looked if he would be unsuited for the dark suit he wore. Not wanting to appear rude, Spencer muttered, "Rough week." The man grinned with a smile that didn't reach his dark eyes. "I imagine working in the BAU would be difficult for anyone, wouldn't you agree Spencer?"

Reid's head snapped upward at the mention of the BAU. _Who was this guy?_ "I wouldn't if I were you." The mystery man said, catching the hand sliding for his messenger bag. "What do you want?" He asked, hoping to diffuse the already tense situation. The dark eyes bore into his, "We're going to get off at the next stop," the man said, "And you're going to willingly come for a ride." Spencer's glared at the man, "And if I don't?" He asked, estimating the probability of him being able to draw his gun before any casualties occurred (about 37.86%). His neighbor chuckled, "Well, in addition to my men and I shooting up this entire train of innocent bystanders," Reid's eyes flickered to the four men seated around their general vicinity; "I have another chip that might interest you." The man pulled out an iPad and handed it to him. Confusion lined Reid's face, followed by worry as he realized exactly what he was seeing. There was a truck outside the building the BAU was housed in, and within the truck, was enough C-4 to level the entire building. _The others!_ He thought, not knowing whether or not anyone was still working. He silently cursed himself for leaving his cell phone at the office, there was no way for him to call and warn them.

Realizing the implications of the situation he was in, he turned to his neighbor and stated, "I go willingly, and your man disables that bomb." The man smiled at this. "You come willingly, and no one needs to die tonight." he confirmed. Reid's shoulders slumped in defeat, "alright, what do you want me to do?" "Cuff your hands behind your back." his neighbor ordered. As inconspicuously as possible, Reid drew out the standard issue handcuffs and slipped one loop on his left hand. His shoulders slumped further at the second pinch; rendering him incapacitated. With a slow exhale he asked, "now what?"

The man gave no indication he had heard Reid's words, but only slipped a heavy duster over Reid's shoulders, effectively hiding the other man's bound hands. "Son," he said, "are you feeling alright? You look so pale." Reid gave a believable cough and leaned against the cool window pain. The man's features clouded with false concern, "Come on," he said in a reassuring tone, "this is our stop." An arm encircled his shoulders, pulling him upright. Reid allowed his captor to usher him off the subway, noting that the man's henchmen picked up his piano as they exited. The velocity of the departing train blew his sideswept chestnut curls into his eyes, partially clouding his vision. Spencer's mind raced, attempting to think of some escape, while he attempted to effectively play the role of a ill son being helped by his father. The strong hands pulled him up the stairs and into the crisp winter air. _Ironic,_ he thought with bitter amusement, _four years and six days since Tobias took me and now I'm in the clutches of another psychopath._

He allowed himself to be led across the street from the terminal and into a dimly-lit alley, where a darkly-tinted van was waiting. The man's associates, who had previously been walking behind him, were now throwing the van's back doors open. _They've tossed my keyboard_ , he noted, _why not just leave it on the subway then?_ His musings were cut short by the hard shove to his shoulder. "Get in!" his captor commanded. With slight difficulty, Spencer maneuvered himself so that he was seated on the floor of the back of the van. His unadjusted eyes noted a bucket seat facing rear traffic, as well as multiple chains sunken into the vehicle floor. A meaty hand grabbed the collar of his sweater, yanking him backward. "Hands!" a gruff voice commanded. Spencer obliged to the best of his abilities, reaching his cuffed hands as far behind him as he could.

The owner of the meaty hand attached one of the vehicle's chains to his left arm before uncuffing him. "Sit!" it's owner commanded. Reid scrambled into the bucket seat, as someone resecured his hands behind the seat, while another henchman attached a chain to each ankle. His captors spent five minutes testing and retesting the chain securing his cuffed hands to the vehicle floor, as well as the ones encircling each of his ankles. It was only when they he was assured of his captive's inability to escape did the dark-suited man approach him. "Breathe into this," he said, holding a rag towards Spencer's face. Spencer glared up at him, "Why?" he snarled. The other man chuckled at his insolence, "I just want to make sure that your trip is as uneventful as possible. But, if you would prefer I call my associate." No!" Panic and desperation was laced through Spencer's voice. "No, please. I'll do whatever you want. Just call off your man!" he begged. His captor smiled and held out the rag. Without a moment's hesitation, Spencer breathed deeply. The acrid scent overloaded his senses and the darkness swiftly took him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review this story. It's my first one and I'm really looking forward to how it turns out. I will plan to post in two chapter intervals by the Sunday of each week. To rmpcmfan: Ian goes after Reid for a very specific purpose. It isn't simply because he's the youngest/ most vulnerable member, that would be too easy. It's not even because he's a soft target, guess you'll have to wait to see why. To Tannerrose5: I will do my best to make my reading more concise and I'm excited to see where this goes too! To ahowell1993: I can't wait for you to read more. To any other readers, thanks for reading and please review! Can't wait to hear what you all think.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Criminal Minds or its characters. They belong to CBS. This is for my and others enjoyment.**

"Ahh," shrieks of high-pitched laughter exploded from the conference room and to the few agents finishing up case papers. No one flinched at the noise,they just assumed the BAU's most successful team was having yet another team bonding night. It was no surprise to any of their colleagues that the ties between Aaron Hotchner's team were more intimate than the professional relationships the other teams had. Maybe it was because more than three-quarters of the team was under the age of forty, or possibly because the team needed something solid in their lives to compensate for the horrors they dealt with each day. Either way, it was difficult to work on the same floor and not be jealous.

Any agent could tell a plethora of stories concerning the team and how their bond was stronger than most marriages: Agent Morgan's being framed for a murder committed by the man who sexually assaulted him when he was younger, Technical Analyst Garcia's close brush with death and their drive to protect her, Agent Rossi's unfinished business and the guilt they helped him move past, Agent Hotchner's brutal assault and the death of his wife at the hands of one of the most prolific and sadistic serial killers the agency had ever seen.

Dr. Reid's, well there were so many incidents involving Dr. Reid, each more complicated than the next, that could be summated as the team protecting their own. It had been a cutthroat battle between agencies, research laboratories, and universities when the young genius' name started appearing in journals and newspapers. The president himself had sat down with each of the heads of the alphabet agencies and leading laboratories, and made it explicitly clear that, while they were expected to bring him into their fold, none of them were allowed to approach him until his eighteenth birthday. "He's still a child," the president had said, "he needs time to mature and figure out what he wants in the world." So they had waited, and when that fateful October day arrived, Dr. Spencer Reid found himself bombarded with recruiters.

The young man, while awkward in most social circumstances and unaccustomed to multiple people wanting to speak with him, had dealt with the situation in an efficient and unique manner; by holding out a stack of cards, numbered one through twenty, and allowing each recruiter to pick one. He would go in chronological order and allot thirty minutes of his time to meet with each recruiter. In that thirty minutes the recruiters would throw everything they had at the precocious young man, hoping that what was written in his chicken-scratch notes would be enough to sway him towards accepting a position from them.

While the BAU was one of the most interested parties, the team head, Jason Gideon, had not been among those meeting with Dr. Reid on his birthday. Instead, he waited to fly out to Los Vegas two weeks after Spencer's birthday. The sight he found was one that surprised him, the young man had gone home for the weekend to help his schizophrenic mother move into Bennington Sanitarium, something no eighteen year old should ever have to do. If Agent Gideon had any doubts about adding the young man to his team, they were completely erased, Spencer moving his mother towards help indicated a compassionate and rational personality; traits necessary for a profiler. Waiting until the young man had finished helping his mother and taken a few minutes to recompose himself, Gideon approached and offered for him entrance into the BAU by the time he turned twenty-one. Four years after that offer, Dr. Spencer Reid found a home at the FBI BAU.

 _It's impossible to not like that kid_ , Rossi mused heading towards the conference room, _he always puts everyone before himself._ He and Seaver had just finished their game night and were about to head home when they heard the sounds of someone screaming. The two locked eyes and sprinted towards the conference room, guns drawn. "FBI!" Rossi shouted, "Aii Dio Mio! What the hell is going on?" The scene he'd burst in on was anything but what he'd expected. He had thought the scream had been of someone being assaulted or murdered, not of laughter; and especially not because Derek Morgan had dumped a huge bowl of popcorn all over Penelope Garcia. "Hey Rossi, Hey Seaver." Morgan muttered sheepishly. Garcia turned and her brown eyes widened at the sight of Rossi's unholstered glock. "Were you going to shoot us?" she asked, voice rising into a high octave.

"No!" Rossi retorted, "but maybe I should have. Maintenance is going to be pissed when they go to clean tonight." "Oh c'mon man, lighten up a bit! I think we deserve to have a little fun considering everything that's been going on." The older man sighed a little at this, it had not been a fun year. "It's not like we were exactly quiet while playing call of duty." Seaver teased, mischief sparkling in her eyes. Garcia's jaw dropped at this, "You, you," she stuttered, "You were playing Call of Duty and you didn't even think to invite me?" Rossi gave the flamboyant technical analyst a guilty grin, "You were busy." he said. Garcia's eyes narrowed, "Oh we are going to have some words about what is and isn't acceptable to disclude me from." she huffed. Morgan wrapped his burly arms around her, "Baby girl, be reasonable, we didn't invite them to our movie night."

"Or me for that matter." The stern voice of Section Chief Erin Strauss radiated from the doorway. Morgan immediately dropped his arms and straightened, "Ma'am," he said in the most respectful tone he could manage. The ice queen, as she was nicknamed among the sixth floor, glared at him and then at the three others. "You will spend however long it takes to clean this mess up and then go straight home." Both Seaver and Garcia assumed the portrayal of bobbleheads, nodding so quickly it seemed that their heads might fly off, while Rossi and Morgan grinned somewhat guilty at their unamused boss. Fixing them with a look that could melt titanium, she said, "And if I ever catch something like this again, I will personally ensure that you are used for target practice at the academy without protective equipment." As each member shuddered at the idea of overly-enthusiastic cadets armed with paintball guns, Strauss turned on her heel and stormed back to her office.

"Is it bad how much that woman scares me?" Seaver asked, grabbing a broom. "Not at all," Garcia replied, following her with the dustpan. "I've been here for seven years and I'm still scared of her." "I think the only person not afraid of her is Reid, and only because it's not logical." Morgan stated. "Where is the kid anyway?" The other three ceased their own activity and pondered the question. "I don't know," Rossi said, "I think this case might have hit him harder than he'd like to admit." "Why?" Garcia asked. "Baby girl, isn't it obvious?" "No, what's obvious?" "We all know that Reid's a bit out there, and I think all of us have suspected at one point or the other that he might have Asperger's." "I'd be more surprised if he didn't." Rossi said with a snort. "What?" he asked defensively, noticing Seaver's burning glare. "Nothing." she muttered. "It's obviously not," Morgan stated, "so you might as well just get it out there."

"Not only is it not our place to judge our colleague, but what gives any of us the right to label Reid as something he's not?" "How can you?" "I know," she said cutting off Morgan's interjection. "Reid profiles as an individual with Asperger's situation because of his lack of social skills, excessive talking, and inability to recognize sarcasm, but he's not." "How can you be so sure?" Garcia asked. "Because Spencer was tested as a child," Seaver shot back. "He was telling me about how they tested him when they found out about his IQ. His brain activity on the MRI showed no indications of any form of autism." "I didn't know." Garcia murmured, her cheeks coloring with shame. "How do you know this?" Rossi asked. Seaver's eyes turned cold, "Because I made the mistake of suggesting he had autism to his face." she snapped, "he was quick to set me straight." "When did this happen?" "Our first case, when we were going through files at the model home. I don't think I'll ever forget the look he gave me." "He never told me that." Morgan muttered "Why would he? He's already convinced you all judge him, doesn't matter whether it's true or not."

"Ashley." Rossi started, reaching for her arm. Seaver brushed him off, "I think we're done here. I'm going to head home." Without a glance back, she grabbed her bag and stomped to the elevator. "Ashley, Ashley!" Rossi, Morgan, and Garcia all hurried into the elevator. "Ashley." "What?" she snapped, pissed that she had to share the two minute ride down. "Obviously this isn't just about Reid." Her eyes narrowed, "Do not try to profile me." she said through gritted teeth. "Doesn't take a profiler to see how pissed you are honey." Garcia muttered.

Seaver glared at her, "Fine." she said exasperatedly. "It's not just about Reid. It's about me too. I mean, if you're all making these judgements about someone you like and respect, then I can only imagine what you must think of me." The elevator doors opened with a soft hiss, and she stepped out into the lobby. "But don't worry. It's not anything I haven't seen or heard before." Not wanting to have to deal with them any longer, she walked towards the far exit. It would take her out of her way, but at least she could be alone to her thoughts. As soon as she was outside the building and into the cold she heard footsteps and her teammates calling after her. _Shit_. She turned to give them all a piece of her mind, when another body collided with hers, protecting her from the exploding building they had all left moments ago.

 **Please Read and Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Criminal Minds. This story is for my and others enjoyment!**

It was a little past midnight when he had finally gotten Jack back to bed. His son had been sleeping peacefully when he'd first arrived home, but had started screaming an hour later. Hotch grimaced, remembering rushing into his son's room, expecting to find some unsub attacking his pride and joy. There was no unsub, only Jack and his tangled sheets. As soon as he entered the room Hotch was able to deduce what had happened, Jack's nightmares were back, and from the sound of it, they were even more vivid. "Hey, hey buddy. It's just me. You're safe now, okay?" Tremors ran up and down his son's body has Jack flung himself into Hotch's lap. Jack sobbed into his button down while Hotch rubbed his hand up and down his back. "You want to talk about it?" he asked. The past two hours had been filled with his son describing hiding to 'solve the case' and coming out to find not only one but both of his parents dead.

The vivid imagery he described was haunting, not only to Jack, but to Aaron himself. It had been difficult enough for him to process Haley's death, but he could only imagine its impact on Jack's life. And to dream that neither of them had survived, Jack would never know how close his morbid dream had been to becoming reality. Exhaustion racked his body as he walked towards his room, only to be interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. "Hotchner." he said in a weary voice. "What?" All the tiredness left his body, replaced with adrenaline and fear. "When did this happen? Was anyone in the building? What hospital are they in? I'm on my way!" He turned to grab for his coat when the guest bedroom door opened. "Aaron?" Haley's sister Jessica's groggy voice filled the hallway. "What's going on?" Guilt briefly passed through Hotch's body. Jessica had contracted the flu and had gone straight to bed when he'd gotten home, and now he'd woken her from the brief, uninterrupted sleep she'd had for most of the night. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." She eyed him with worry, "Don't concern yourself with me. Why are your hands shaking?" Hotch glanced down at both hands, it was true they were shaking badly.

"I just got a call. Someone just detonated a bomb outside the FBI Training Academy. A few of my team were still inside." A look of shock passed across Jessica's features. "Oh my gosh. Are they alright?" "I don't know. I'm going to go check the hospital. I don't know when I'll be back. Tell Jack I'll see him soon." "Of course. Be careful!" she called to his back. Hotch took the stairs two at a time, attempting to maintain a stride that was both calm and quick. He kept this stride until he found his SUV, parked three blocks away from the apartment complex he shared with his son. After Haley's death, he had adopted the habit of parking as far away from his home as possible, that way no unsub would be able to follow him without his knowledge. The lights of the SUV flashed from his car fob as a voice asked, "Agent Hotchner?" Hotch turned slightly towards a middle-aged white man in jeans and a leather jacket. "Yes?" The only response he received was the flash of a muzzle and a loud bang.

"No, you don't understand! You need to get me my phone! I need to call my team!" Emily's frantic cries filled the fourth floor of the hospital. The attending nurse had come in to give her patient more ice, only to find the woman in an extremely agitated state. "Ma'am," she insisted. "You need to lie down and take deep breaths. Everything is fine. You're safe now." Emily's eyes flashed, "Its not me I'm worried about." she snarled remembering the slip of paper she'd found in her pocket. The words flashed in her mind, _suil le haghaidh suil_ \- an eye for an eye, her heart raced at the thought of what Doyle might've done to her team.

"This is Kyra Chen reporting live." The television was too soft for her to hear the breaking news. "Turn that up please." she requested in a soft voice. Surprised at the change in her charge, the attending nurse grabbed the remote and turned the volume up. Both stared in shock at the carnage on the screen. "We have just confirmed that the target was none other than the FBI Training Academy in Quantico Virginia. There are no confirmed casualties, but first responders have noted that the building is still too hot to approach." Emily sank back against the pillows, head in her hands. _He actually did it. I can't believe he went through with his threat._ "Miss?" concerned looks were thrown her way. Emily straightened, "I'm sorry. My name is Emily Prentiss. I am an FBI agent and I really need my phone to make sure my team is alright. They might have been in the building." "Of course miss!"

Her phone was thrust into her nail-bitten hands and she quickly hit star-one, the speed dial for Hotch. "Hotchner." Relief filled her, "Oh thank god. Hotch, it's Emily. Where are you? Where's the rest of the team?" "Emily, I was just about to call you. We're at the memorial hospital on the fourth floor." "We?" "Yes, me, Morgan, Garcia, Rossi, and Seaver. JJ's on her way, but I can't get ahold of Reid. Where are you?" "I'm at the hospital, room 422." "We'll be right there!"

Emily propped herself further up as Hotch entered the room, followed closely by Rossi and Morgan pushing a wheelchair bound Garcia and Seaver. Emily took one look at the group and asked "What the hell happened to all of you?" Morgan snorted, "We could ask the same thing." Emily looked down at her body for the first time since arriving at the hospital. The skin on her arms was covered with rings of black bruises, and she could only guess what her face looked like. "I was at the park and got attacked." she replied. Hotch nodded, "I think we all were." Rossi, Morgan, Garcia, and Seaver were leaving the building when it exploded. Garcia and Seaver were both knocked out and Morgan has some asphalt burns, but considering the circumstances, they were lucky." "What about you?" "I got the call and was on my way to the hospital when a man approached me and took a shot at me." "Are you alright?" "I'm fine. I'm better off than he is. I got six stitches, he gets being six feet under." Hotch said with a look of grim satisfaction. "You don't think Reid was in that building do you?" "No, I watched him leave early tonight. Probably the only time I've ever seen that happen."

Relief washed over Emily's features, Reid hadn't been in the building. She was going to ask if they could call him again when JJ walked in. "Hey JJ." Morgan said. JJ ignored him, instead heading straight for Emily's bed. "I was just walking in," she said in a worried voice, "when a man approached me and asked if I was visiting the BAU agent in the hospital. When I said yes, he gave me this." She thrust a manilla envelope into Emily's hands. Emily stared into her wide blue eyes, "He said to give it to Lauren Reynolds." Dread filled Emily's stomach as she ripped the top of the envelope open, ignoring Hotch and Morgan's shouts about caution. Tipping the envelope upside down, a small tablet slid into her hands. Feeling no less uneasy, Emily turned on the device. With a soft purr, it powered to life and a video appeared on the screen.

Everyone, sans their still unconscious teammates, crowded around her bed as she pressed play. The features of a handsome and well-dressed man filled the screen. "Hello Lauren." he said. _Ian_. "I trust you received my message." Prentiss felt the eyes of everyone turn from the screen towards her. "I thought it might be nice to take from you what you took from me. But I couldn't make it so quick, I need to draw it out, to make you suffer as I have suffered. To make you feel what it's like to have your true family ripped from your hands! Tell your teammates that I am welcome for saving their worthless lives, and thank them for not being useful enough for my objective. Don't worry though, I found one member who was perfect for my plans." The camera shifted from Ian's face to an unconscious bound, gagged, and blindfolded man. The sharp intake of breath from all the viewers confirmed Emily's worst fear, the man Ian had was Reid. With the camera still facing Reid, Ian continued, smugness coloring his voice. "I must thank you. Dr. Reid was so compliant when he heard your miserable life was at risk. It made it so much easier to take him than if I hadn't. It wouldn't have been impossible, but much more challenging. I have special plans for him Lauren, plans that you will watch, knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it! But don't worry, I haven't hurt him, yet."

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	5. Chapter 5

**AN:**

 **Hey Everyone, I know I said that I would probably be posting every Sunday, but Wednesday's episode got the creative juices flowing. So I thought I might as well post while they're flowing so freely.**

 **Response to the responses:**

 **to tannerrose: be prepared for lots of Reid whump and I can't wait for you to read more. As to Doyle taking Reid because he knows it'll hurt Emily, that's true, but it's a bit more complicated than just that. The reason to appear in a few more chapters. I absolutely agree with you about how everyone has their crosses to bear and I especially think that the show does a really great job of bringing that to each episode.**

 **to ahowell1993: Can't wait for you to read more, be prepared for a full blown Morgan temper tantrum. It would've surprised me if anyone hadn't considered the possibility of Spencer have Asperger's. However, to me, his personality has always been a product of his upbringing.**

 **To everyone else: Thanks for the follows and support. It means a lot, especially because this is my first story. Make sure to keep reading and reviewing, I can't wait to see what you guys think!**

 **Warnings: Be prepared for some pretty explicit language: courtesy of Morgan and Reid**

 **Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is solely for my and others enjoyment!**

Chapter 5:

For a moment there was silence, and then, bang! The metal bedpan smashed against the wall with such velocity that a dent the size of Morgan's fist formed immediately on impact. "Morgan!" Hotch warned. "What?" Morgan muttered rounding on him. "What Hotch?" He repeated, voice rising to a deadly level, "I shouldn't be upset? I should be rational and calm? Huh? Is that what you want? For me to be calm? Are you that much of an unfeeling robot that, after everything we've been through tonight, you want me to remain calm? Well guess what Hotch. I am anything but calm!"

Hotch's stern expression never wavered as he watched his subordinate's temper tantrum."I doubt what you're doing right now will be of much help to Reid." Morgan's eyes flashed. "Don't you dare tell me what will and will not help Reid. Do not for even one minute suggest that I am detrimental to his safety. If anything, I am the reason he is still alive." JJ scoffed, "Thinking a little highly of yourself, aren't you Derek?" Sarcasm laced every word. "Yes me. Who else would've kept that kid out of trouble? Certainly wouldn't have been you. You couldn't even keep him safe through a damn interview." JJ jerked back as if he had slapped her. "That's not fair Morgan." she protested.. Cold, black eyes met her tear-filled blue ones, "the truth hurts sometime."

"Alright, that is enough!" Hotch interjected angrily. "Morgan, if you can't take five seconds without snapping at someone, then I don't want you here. Go clear your head! I don't want you here until you're ready to be a team player." "Aye aye captain!" Morgan said sourly, pausing only to give Hotch a mocking salute. As soon as he had passed from view Hotch turned to JJ, "I'm sorry about that." JJ sniffed and gave him a watery smile, "S'not anything I haven't heard before." she joked, attempting to diffuse an already tense situation. Hotch's eyes narrowed until they were almost slits, "Excuse me?"

JJ met his gaze unflinching. "Every time Spence gets himself into a life -threatening situation Morgan finds someone to blame. When the two of you were taken hostage in that hospital by Phillip Dowd, he blamed you. When Tobias Hankle chained and tortured him, he blamed me. When he stepped into our line of fire to talk down Owen Savage, well if Morgan could've been any more pissed at Spence, he'd have been spitting fire." They all chuckled at the memory of Morgan ripping Reid a new one as soon as the plane had taken off.

" _I really don't get what your problem is Morgan." "My problem? My problem? Kid are you that slow or does your brain just not work when it's not solving complex equations? How the hell do you think we'd all feel about you not only blocking our shot, but putting yourself in the line of a fucking psychopath without a vest or gun!"_ At the time, they'd all just sat back and watched the show with mild interest, Reid was getting his just dessert for scaring all of them like that. What they didn't realize, however, was exactly how scary Reid could be if he chose to be. _Reid drew himself up to his full height, no longer the slouching unconfident kid they all associated him with. "He's not a psychopath." He spoke softly, but no one could misplace the dangerous edge in his voice. "What is he then Reid?" "Misunderstood." Morgan scoffed, "are you that naive that you always have to see the best in people? Or is it just that you have a death wish?" "That's funny Morgan, considering that you said one of the best skills a profiler could have is the ability to empathize with both the victim and the unsub." "Do not twist my words."_ Everyone had thought that Reid would've backed down, considering that Morgan looked ready to rip his head off, but once again he'd surprised them. " _Why not?" He challenged. "You're more than willing to twist whatever anyone else says to suit your needs. Why shouldn't I?"_ It had taken a month before Morgan would even be in the same room as Reid, and another for him to have a civil conversation with the young genius. Everyone's recollections were cut short by a hoarse voice whispering, "so he'll blame me next."

Three pairs of eyes turned toward the beaten and defeated agent lying in the bed. After the shock of seeing Reid and Morgan's tantrum, the other agents had forgotten that one of their own was closer to this than any agent should be and it would take all of her physical and psychological strength to keep going. "Emily," Hotch tried his best to soothe the distraught woman, "it's not your fault." "Yeah, it's not like you knew this psychopath was going to come after you." Rossi added, doing his best to put her at easy. Apparently not, if anything his words had unleashed the waterworks the woman had tried so hard to keep back. Rossi's dark eyes met Hotch's in shock, "I didn't." he started. "Dave," Hotch said as gently as he could, "why don't you go see if Morgan is ready to come back." Rossi gave a weak nod and hurried out of the room. Writing award winning books and talking down unsubs, that was easy. Dealing with the complexity of the female mind and emotions, well, let's just say he'd rather deal with nearly getting blown up.

Hotch turned back to Prentiss, only to find JJ in the bed with her arms wrapped around her; and a newly alerted Garcia and Seaver holding each hand. Not wanting to be left out of calming Prentiss down, Hotch grabbed the box of tissues by the bedside and placed them on her lap. "Whenever you're ready to talk." He said softly. After a few shaky breaths and half the box of tissues, Prentiss looked up at her colleagues. "It is my fault." she said miserably. Garcia shook her head, "No Emily, there's no way you could've known. You only just found out that Doyle had escaped and was targeting members of your former team. There's no way that you could've known he'd do something like this." JJ nodded in agreement, while Hotch gave them both a befuddled stare.

"You knew what she was?" He asked in an incredulous tone. Garcia looked up at him with a guilty smile, "Yeah, I've known for the past three months." "Emily, I thought we agreed that, while JJ and myself knowing was absolutely necessary, we wouldn't involve the team. There was too much red tape and the possibility of the information they learned falling into the wrong hands." Prentiss sighed, "I know Hotch, but she caught me at a bad moment and had already hacked my file by the time I tried to fix my mistake." Garcia's worried look had morphed into a smug smile at the mention of her hacking abilities, not even faltering at the stern look Hotch shot her way.

"I take it that means Morgan knows too." "That my partner's a backstabbing CIA bitch? Yea, figured that out within the second year she got here. For someone who'd been in the spy game for five years you aren't too great at accurately portraying a cover. Someone coming off a desk job would've flinched at their first crime scene. Hell, someone coming off a desk job would've lost their lunch." "Morgan." Prentiss pleaded, noting the look of cold fury he gave her. He was so far past being pissed, she wouldn't have been surprised if any passerby thought he was an agent mercilessly grilling an unsub. "But no, I held my tongue. Thought that if you wanted you to know, you'd tell us. But boy, did I have no idea how much that would come back to bite me in the ass. You see Emily, if that's your real name, I not only trusted you with my life. No, it wasn't just me that had to rely on you in the line of fire. I trusted you with Reid's. I trusted you because after the whole debacle with Elle, I knew that he would need someone to fill that hole, someone to protect him from the job he was still too young to do. Guess life must've had some hell of a sense of humor to have you walk into his life."

Each word was like a knife, stabbed repeatedly into her body. She would give anything for that to be true, the physical pain would be nothing compared to the guilt and sorrow she felt from Morgan's words. Morgan watched as his words fell like blows on Prentiss' body, she jerked each time, as if they left bruises only she could see. A small part of him urged him to stop, that it wasn't her fault, that he needed to pity her. Rationally there was no way she could've foreseen what had happened. But he didn't want to be rational. He wanted to be pissed and take out all the guilt and anger he had about losing his baby brother out on someone. It just sucked for Emily that she was his target. His eyes flickered to Hotch. The unit chief was watching Emily with concern while his other female teammates comforted her. Only Rossi did nothing. Fine, if they were going to treat Prentiss as the victim, then he sure as hell didn't need to be here. Turning to leave, he couldn't help but dig the knife in a little deeper. "Just remember Emily. For every bullet, every stab, and every blow; his blood is on your hands."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is purely for my and others enjoyment.**

Chapter 6:

6 hours later

Reid woke to the sound of water dripping on concrete. _Where am I? Why did I fall asleep standing up?_ The aftereffects of the drug had left his mind so bleary that it was all he could do to piece together the events of the previous night. " _I come with you and no one gets hurt." "You come with me and no one needs to die tonight."_ He had hoped it had all been a very realistic nightmare, but the shackles chaining his hands above him confirmed that this was his reality. At first the realization elicited no response, but within moments his mind had transported him into a memory. _He woke to a 40 watt light bulb swinging above his head. His head was pounding and he could feel blood, his blood drying on the side of his face. He raised his hands to wipe the blood away, but they wouldn't move. Why wouldn't they move?_

"Hey boss." A rough voice jarred him from the memory, "he's awake." _How can they know that?_ Reid thought. _There's no one in the room with me._ After a few deep breaths to calm himself of his previous panic attack, Reid reassessed his predicament. He'd originally thought that it was still nightfall when he'd woken, but small slivers of light appeared whenever he shifted his eyes up or down. He had been blindfolded, but not so well that he was completely without light. For that, he was grateful. The team had always teased him about his fear of the dark, but no one had considered what the absence of light meant for a young Reid.

Darkness was the hole his mother fell into soon after he was born. Darkness was his father leaving because he couldn't handle the responsibility of dealing with a schizophrenic. It was being tied naked to a goal post because no one understood why a twelve-year-old was so much smarter; only that he was a freak and freaks needed to be taken care of. It was walking home at two in the morning because anything was better than having books thrown at his head and his mother screaming that you were sent by the government to take her away. It was knowing that he'd sacrificed part of his soul and betrayed the person he loved more than anything because he couldn't take care of them on he own any more. It was the intimidating stares as everyone muttered the only reason he'd been accepted into the BAU was because of his brain; that he wouldn't last the week. It was the blank look in Phillip Dowd's eyes when he took that fatal shot. It was the crushing guilt after Elle left and again with Gideon. It was the draw of the needle, feeling weak but knowing he couldn't handle the memories. He'd always associated the bleakest moments of his life with the darkness because they couldn't be explained and they consumed him in a pool of despair.

"Mmph!" he had tried to clear the scratch in his throat only to realize he'd also been gagged. Whoever had gagged him was more experience than the one who'd blindfolded him, the thick cloth sat behind his teeth and was double-knotted at the base of his skull. He wouldn't be calling for help anytime soon. Both his hands and feet were chained, his feet to the floor and his hands to the ceiling, effectively keeping him in a single and very uncomfortable position. Lastly, he noticed the thin electrodes attached to his chest, monitoring his heart beat. _That was how they knew I was awake. They must have a computer monitoring my heart rate. But why? Do they want to gauge the effectiveness of their torture?_ There was no doubt in his mind that he would be tortured. _Or is there some other motive? What does the profile say? Gotta think in terms of the profile._

Creak. The sound of a door opening shook him out of his reverie. Someone was coming. Reid tried to slow his breathing, but could do nothing to control the fast thumping of his heart. "Hello Spencer." a cold cultured voice said. "Nice of you to finally wake up." Reid said nothing, not wanting to give his captor the satisfaction of listening to him struggle to speak. If he wanted silence, then silence was what he would get. "Oh, the silent treatment?" the voice's owner chuckled. "Don't worry, we'll see how you respond after the morning's news." Dread filled Reid's stomach at the soft voice of a reporter filled the room."This is Kyra Chen reporting live. No groups have claimed responsibility for the bombing attack on the FBI Training Academy. Ten have been reported as dead with another eight in critical condition. We'll be continuing with this story at five. Reporting for News Center 4, this is Kyra Chen." _What?_ He thought, heart racing. _He promised no one would get hurt if I went with him. That no one would die. Were the others still in the building when the bomb went off? Please, lord, let them be okay. I don't care what happens to me, just tell me they're alive._

Rough hands brushed against his neck as the gag was removed. "How do I know this isn't some sort of trick?" he asked. "What's the matter Spencer? Don't trust me?" Well obviously you're a sick son of a bitch, so why should I believe anything you say?" "Maybe listening to this will convince you." First there was silence, then, " _Seaver! Hey! Ashley!"_ Morgan's voice filled the room, and then _BOOM!_ The telltale sound of a bomb detonated and sirens filling the air. _At least Hotch, Rossi, and Garcia are okay._ He thought, trying to compartmentalize the loss of at least Morgan and Seaver. Another recording started as soon as that thought had passed through his mind. " _Did she ever say anything to you before tonight?"_ Garcia's voice, followed by Rossi's reply, " _No, I had no idea she, they felt that way."_ And once again the sound of the explosion. _Okay,_ he thought struggling to keep his features blank, _at least Hotch is safe._ But yet another recording proved his hopes were mistaken, " _Agent Hotchner?" "Yes?"_ and then the irreplaceable sound of a gun firing.

After that final recording it was all Reid could do not to curl in upon himself in grief. To mourn the only true family and home he'd ever had, but he couldn't, not with the audience present. The brief profile he'd constructed had told him his captors would find pleasure at any and all signs of pain he exhibited, he couldn't give them the satisfaction. Struggling to keep both his voice and heart rate steady he snarled, "You told me if I went with you no one would be hurt." His captor laughed mockingly, "What's the matter Spencer? Upset that your precious team is dead?"

Reid silently apologized, grateful none of his teammates would ever hear about what he was about to say. "No, I'm pissed that innocent people were caught in the cross-fire. I couldn't give a damn about what happened to my colleagues." His words appeared to throw his captor off because he replied, "Really? I thought that you were close with them all. That they were your family." "Ha." Reid barked a short laugh, "that must be one fucked up family then. Let's see. Agent Morgan loves using me as his physical and psychological punching bag. Anytime he gets too pissed, he can't wait to take it out on me, but heaven forbid I come to him with any of my own problems. I'm just the nerd they rely on when the big guns can't kick down doors, it's probably the reason why I'm the one in the line of fire so much. Agent Hotchner has proven time and time again that I am only a tool in his disposal, and it's a miracle he even puts up with me. When we were taken hostage by an unsub he told the unsub about how I'd failed my gun recertification and how he'd like nothing more than to kick the shit out of me for making his life miserable. Then he actually did. Oh, and let's not forget the time I was shot and went to visit him the next day. He pretty much told me that it was my fault that a deranged psychopath was targeting his family. That if I had actually tried with the profile, the unsub would be dead or behind bars by then. Agent Rossi's made it abundantly clear that he wants absolutely nothing to do with me and never will. In his mind, I'm just the freak the Bureau picked up because it would look good to have a 'genius' working there. Garcia is just happy that she's not the biggest freak there, and trainee Seaver is just some pathetic little bitch who's daddy was a serial killer."

"On their own, they could give me enough ammunition to write a book series about how they've treated me; but let's not forget what they've done to me as a group. It isn't bad enough that they're always teasing me and shutting me up, but whenever something goes wrong I am always the first one they blame. Take this case with a kid who was murdering his former bullies, I identified with him and, instead of helping me, they did all they could to paint him as the psychopath. I had to stand between my teammates and the boy just to make sure they didn't shoot him. You'd think that would've made them realize that they took the wrong approach, but no, all it got me was two months of being bitched out. Didn't matter why I did it, only that I had. So yes, I don't have any love lost for them. The world is so much better off without them in it."

"What about Agent Prentiss?" the man asked quietly. _Ah, Emily, so I was right. He took me to get to her. I've got to protect her, I can't lose the only family I have left._ "What about her?" he asked in a voice so cold he surprised himself. "Surely she must care about you. She did take a beating for you two years ago." _Damn, how much does this guy know? Those files are sealed, he must have someone on the inside._ "Only because our boss told her to." He said, not even trying to hide the bitterness in his voice. It had hurt so much when he'd heard that. "Believe me, she wouldn't have done it if she wasn't ordered to. The only person Prentiss gives a damn about is herself. It certainly isn't me! Sorry to ruin your plans." "How do think this will ruin my plans?" "You think that by taking me, you'll force Emily to cut a deal or you'll hurt her, but you're wrong. She'll probably thank you, and ask why you didn't do it sooner. I'm sure every day I'm alive is a day she considers wasted." There was no response, only the sound of rolling metal, a sound that haunted his nightmares; the sound of the gun barrel of a revolver being spun before Russian roulette. Reid's heart pounded violently as the cold barrel of the gun was pressed against it. "Let's test that theory." his captor said.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Hey, everyone. So two posts in one week because this week's episode was amazing! To Tannerrose5: Thank you for your kind words and your reviews. I really appreciate seeing what you have to say. To ahowell1993: Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't; that's for you to find out. To everyone else: Thanks for reading, and be sure to keep reviewing! So same warnings as the previous chapters, mild language and such.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Criminal minds or its characters. This is only for me and for others to enjoy!**

It had been a rough night at the hospital, between Prentiss' guilt and the team's anxiety over the attack, they had gotten very little sleep. Hotch had sent Rossi after Morgan while he and JJ set up a two-man rotation outside of Prentiss' door. Both Prentiss and Seaver had argued to be part of the watch, but faltered under Hotch's admonishment about how them operating a service weapon, while concussed, was a recipe for disaster. He'd also argued with Garcia that there was no point in her trying to search for Reid while concussed, his captors already had too far of a head start and the only thing she'd do would be to give herself an even bigger headache. She'd cried at first, terrified that Reid would be dead by the time she was well enough to help, but exhaustion and the day's stress had finally taken her into unconsciousness. They were all sleeping now, but he doubted how long that would last. Everyone ran on adrenaline when one of their own was in danger. Hotch rubbed his eyes wearily and glanced at the clock above Prentiss' bed, 6:30 A.M. It had been 12:30 when they'd seen the video, so the unsubs had at least a six-hour head start, probably longer. _They could be halfway to China by now._ He thought bitterly, _Why is it always Reid?_

Ring! Ring! Hotch quickly stepped outside of Prentiss' hospital room, so he wouldn't disturb his sleeping subordinates. "Hotcher." he answered. "Hotch? It's Dave." Rossi's voice echoed from his phone, "I've found Morgan." Hotch straightened, all exhaustion leaving his body, "Really? Where was he?" "Helping move debris and look for survivors at the blast site." "Were there any?" _Please let there be survivors. Don't make Prentiss deal with any more guilt from this damn vendetta._ Hotch could hear his friend hesitate, "Dave," he said gently, "was anyone else there when the bomb went off?" "Gomez from counter-terrorism, as well as the entire night crew. " _No, some of the members of the night crew were barely out of high school. They'd taken the job to help pay for college. They had so much to live for._ Hotch took a breath to compartmentalize his grief over their senseless deaths before saying, "Okay, you and Morgan get back here as soon as possible. But don't rush if they think there still might be survivors and need help. And Dave?" "Yeah Hotch?" "Whatever you do, don't tell Emily."

"Don't tell Emily what?" Prentiss had snuck up behind him so quietly that it was all Hotch could do to not flinch. "What've I told you about sneaking up on me?" he asked. "Sorry." she muttered, slightly abashed, "don't tell Emily what though?" Hotch sighed, obviously he wasn't going to be able to keep this from her. "Morgan went back to the training academy to see if anyone else had been there last night." "And?" "Both Agent Gomez and the entire night crew still were, they, they didn't make it." Prentiss leaned back against the wall, wincing as if his words were as painful as the bruises she'd sustained. "Emily." Hotch said gently, "I need you to know that none of this is your fault." Prentiss clenched her eyes shut, as if to block out the pain his words had caused her, "But it is." she murmured, "If I had just put a bullet in his brain like I was supposed to, none of this would have happened. Garcia and Seaver wouldn't have concussions, Gomez and those kids would still be alive, we'd still have a building, and Reid; Reid would be safe, not unconscious and on his way to being tortured. So you can tell me it's not my fault Hotch, but that won't heal their injuries, it won't bring the dead back to life, and it won't bring Reid back."

"Emily." Hotch started, but he was interrupted by the sight of Morgan and Rossi walking up the hallway. Both looked as if they had been to hell and back, and had looks of thinly-veiled despair on their faces. Hotch noticed how Prentiss had immediately tensed at the sight of Morgan walking towards them; _shit, him going off on her right now is the last thing we need._ "Derek." he said in warning as Morgan opened his mouth, but Prentiss beat him to the punch. "Don't even bother Derek," she said in a hard voice, "you were right. Me being a member of this team did come back to bite you all in the ass. I am a liability, and it was a cruel trick of fate that Reid should get stuck with me. But that's not all, no, I am also the reason why we no longer have an office. Why ten people are now dead, and Reid will probably join them. I mean, I could and I will beg Ian to trade my life for his; but he has gone so fucking off script that I doubt it will do anything except put Reid in even more danger. I mean, sure he's a murdering psychopath, but he only killed when it was in his favor to. He never played these fucking mind games. If someone pissed him off, he'd just put a bullet between their eyes. But now, now he is out to destroy everything and everyone I love. So please Derek, continue to rip into me. Take your best shot! Because nothing, and I mean nothing, could be worse than the guilt I'm feeling right now."

Hotch, Morgan, and Rossi all gaped as Prentiss ranted. They all knew she had a temper, out of the whole team she and Morgan were the most likely to rip into someone, but they had never seen her so broken, so defeated. She was in a pit of self-loathing so deep, Hotch doubted they'd be able to pull her out. Both he and Rossi took a step to comfort their hurting colleague, but were pushed aside as Morgan wrapped Prentiss in his arms. Morgan held her as her body wracked with sobs, and they could just barely make out the words he was whispering in her ear; "I'm sorry..it's not your fault...no one blames you...you did what you had to." Both of the older men let out a sigh of relief, at least one crisis was averted. Their relief was short-lived, however, as JJ came out into the hallway with a grim expression on her face. "There's another video of Reid." she said.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is only for my and others' enjoyment.**

The five of them rushed over to Garcia's bed, where she had hooked up the tablet to the laptop she always had on her. Seaver was sitting next to Garcia on the bed, so the others had to crowd around to view the screen. At first there was only darkness, but then light flooded the hallway. Heavy footsteps echoed off the concrete floor, along with the jangle of keys, as a windowless door was unlocked. The room beyond the door was dimly lit by the glow of some sort of monitor and sparsely furnished. Reid stood at the center with his arms stretched above him, wrists and ankles bound with heavy iron chains. They all let out a sigh of relief when his features were thrown into the light; sans the blindfold and gag he looked exactly as he had the last time they'd seen him, he hadn't been hurt. "What's up with the gag and blindfold?" Garcia asked. "Sensory deprivation, Baby Girl." Morgan answered, his hand tightening on her shoulder. "They want him as disoriented as possible, so he can't escape." "Oh." Garcia said, taken aback by the grim circumstances her junior G-man had gotten himself into.

"Shh, guys listen." Seaver hushed them as Reid's captor addressed him. "Hello Spencer." a cold cultured voice said. "Nice of you to finally wake up." The team watched as Reid did nothing; didn't flinch, didn't struggle against his bonds, he simply acted as if he was bored. His captor didn't seem deterred by this lack of response, if anything, he seemed amused. "Oh, the silent treatment? Don't worry, we'll see how you respond after the morning's news."

The team watched as Ian pulled up the morning's broadcast and hit play. Reid's former disinterest was replaced by an unwilling curiosity to see what his captor meant. "This is Kyra Chen reporting live. No groups have claimed responsibility for the bombing attack on the FBI Training Academy. Ten have been reported as dead with another eight in critical condition. We'll be continuing with this story at five. Reporting for News Center 4, this is Kyra Chen." "Shit!" Morgan voiced what was going through all of their heads, they could only imagine what Reid must've been thinking after hearing that. Garcia gripped Morgan's hand tighter as they watched rough hands remove their colleague's gag.

"How do I know this isn't some sort of trick?" Reid snarled in a voice full of loathing. His captor laughed mockingly, "What's the matter Spencer? Don't trust me?" Well obviously you're a sick son of a bitch, so why should I believe anything you say?" _That's it kid! Don't let them get to you!_ "Maybe listening to this will convince you." The team exchanged confused glances at the sound of their own voices, " _Seaver! Hey! Ashley!"_ Morgan's voice filled the room, and then _BOOM!_ Then, " _Did she ever say anything to you before tonight?"_ Garcia's voice, followed by Rossi's reply, " _No, I had no idea she, they felt that way."_ And once again the sound of the explosion. And finally, " _Agent Hotchner?" "Yes?"_ and then the irreplaceable sound of a gun firing. "He thinks we're all dead." Rossi said in a detached voice, "he thinks the cavalry isn't coming."

They all expected some form of grief to pass over their missing colleague's features, but were astounded by the lack of emotion Reid was portraying. It was as if he was waiting for a coffee or to catch the train, not as if he'd just learned his family had been taken from him. The only discernible change in his demeanor was when he snarled, "You told me if I went with you no one would be hurt." His captor laughed mockingly, "What's the matter Spencer? Upset that your precious team is dead?" Again the team waited for the tell-tale signs of grief to pass over their boy wonder's features, but there was nothing. It was as if his face had been carved out of stone, unmoving and unbreakable no matter the conditions.

"No, I'm pissed that innocent people were caught in the cross-fire. I couldn't give a damn about what happened to my colleagues." His words appeared to throw his captor off because he replied, "Really? I thought that you were close with them all. That they were your family." "Ha." Reid barked a short laugh, "that must be one fucked up family then. Let's see. Agent Morgan loves using me as his physical and psychological punching bag. Anytime he gets too pissed, he can't wait to take it out on me, but heaven forbid I come to him with any of my own problems. I'm just the nerd they rely on when the big guns can't kick down doors, it's probably the reason why I'm the one in the line of fire so much." "Tell us how you really feel kid." Rossi mumbled, hurt by the words he could only hope were not true.

"Agent Hotchner has proven time and time again that I am only a tool in his disposal, and it's a miracle he even puts up with me. When we were taken hostage by an unsub he told the unsub about how I'd failed my gun recertification and how he'd like nothing more than to kick the shit out of me for making his life miserable. Then he actually did. Oh, and let's not forget the time I was shot and went to visit him the next day. He pretty much told me that it was my fault that a deranged psychopath was targeting his family. That if I had actually tried with the profile, the unsub would be dead or behind bars by then. Agent Rossi's made it abundantly clear that he wants absolutely nothing to do with me and never will. In his mind, I'm just the freak the Bureau picked up because it would look good to have a 'genius' working there. Garcia is just happy that she's not the biggest freak there, and trainee Seaver is just some pathetic little bitch who's daddy was a serial killer."

"On their own, they could give me enough ammunition to write a book series about how they've treated me; but let's not forget what they've done to me as a group. It isn't bad enough that they're always teasing me and shutting me up, but whenever something goes wrong I am always the first one they blame. Take this case with a kid who was murdering his former bullies, I identified with him and, instead of helping me, they did all they could to paint him as the psychopath. I had to stand between my teammates and the boy just to make sure they didn't shoot him. You'd think that would've made them realize that they took the wrong approach, but no, all it got me was two months of being bitched out. Didn't matter why I did it, only that I had. So yes, I don't have any love lost for them. The world is so much better off without them in it."

"What about Agent Prentiss?" his captor asked quietly. Emily flinched at the mention of her name, and again at the coldness in Reid's voice. "What about her?" he asked.. "Surely she must care about you. She did take a beating for you two years ago." "Only because our boss told her to." Reid replied. Prentiss felt five sets of eyes turn towards her at that admission, luckily Reid had not yet finished his rant. "Believe me, she wouldn't have done it if she wasn't ordered to. The only person Prentiss gives a damn about is herself. It certainly isn't me! Sorry to ruin your plans."

"How do think this will ruin my plans?" Ian asked. They all watched Reid scoff as he retorted, "You think that by taking me, you'll force Emily to cut a deal or you'll hurt her, but you're wrong. She'll probably thank you, and ask why you didn't do it sooner. I'm sure every day I'm alive is a day she considers wasted."

JJ brought her hand up in horror as Reid's captor's response was to place a loaded revolver against Spencer's heart. "Let's test that theory." his captor said. "Go right ahead." Reid said with a bravado that broke the team's heart. The kid was being tortured yet again, with the same weapon no less, and it was all he could do to not show fear. Ian smirked at his prisoner's attempt at bravery, "Are you sure Spencer? Your heart tells a different story." "Yeah, well I think you're mistaking me being pissed with me being scared. EKG's will do that for you, they only tell you the heart rate, not why it is what it is." Reid retorted.

"Ah." Doyle chuckled, "yes, the EKG. Believe me that's only so that we can monitor your time as our guest. Wouldn't want you to be too uncomfortable. You see, if your heart rate got to increased levels, I might get worried. I might think that you're trying to undermine my abilities as a host." "No," Reid said, "you can't be monitoring my heart for only that purpose. You want to see how much of an effect your torture has on me." "Yes, but why rely on monitors for that? You see, I've become quite accustomed to feeling the beat of a terrified heart during my time in South Korea; and the steel of this gun is such a wonderful conductor for that feeling. Shall we begin?"

The team watched as Reid struggled against the gun pressed into his chest. They all flinched as Doyle spun the barrel and cocked the gun; it was too similar to what Tobias Hankle had done. One, two, three, four, five, six times he had pulled the trigger, but no bullets had ripped through Reid's heart; this was purely psychological. "Huh," Doyle said, stuffing the revolver into his waistband, "I guess I forgot to load it this time." He winked at the camera, knowing the team was watching, and that this was torture in the highest form; for both Reid and them. Both JJ and Garcia were shaking while Prentiss looked ready for another breakdown. Seaver held her head in her hands as Rossi rubbed her back, and Hotch and Morgan attempted to maintain a strong facade. Watching Reid be forced to play another game of Russian Roulette was worse than any physical beating they could have endured; yet Reid did not appear traumatized. If anything, he looked even angrier. As Doyle went to reapply his gag, Spencer spat in his face and muttered, "Go to hell!" through gritted teeth. "Don't provoke him Reid." Prentiss moaned at the video feed as Doyle grabbed his captive by the hair. Just before the video feed was cut off, they heard him hiss; "Don't worry Spencer, by the time I am done you'll be begging for me to kill you."

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	9. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone, updating a bit early in the week. Needed a mental health break, so obviously that meant working on this story. There's actually three new chapters instead of the two I usually post. To bigtimedreamer101: Thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot that you like this story so much. I can't wait for you to read more! To BJames: Glad you like it! Hope you like this new update! To Tannerrose5: Thanks so much for your input and kind words! I love reading your comments. Hope these next few chapters are exciting enough for you! To ahowell1993: They're definitely heading down the path of remorse and redemption. To everyone else: Keep reading and reviewing! Hope you guys are enjoying reading as much as I'm enjoying writing it!**

 **Warnings: Mild language and hints of torture.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is only for my and others' enjoyment.**

Chapter 9:

At first there was silence, everyone was reeling at the shock of watching their teammate and friend put in mortal peril once again. No one knew what to say, but they could only guess what they were all feeling; deep, bone-crushing guilt. JJ blamed herself for leaving the BAU and for being the reason Reid had such a negative reaction to revolvers. Garcia blamed herself for being unable to track their boy genius' whereabouts. Morgan blamed himself for not keeping a better eye on Reid. He had promised Gideon that he would always protect the kid, but when Reid needed him most, Morgan had always been too late. Hotch and Rossi both blamed themselves for not taking care of the youngest BAU member, a man they had both adopted into their families. As for Prentiss, it was nearly impossible for her to prevent herself from being consumed with guilt. None of this would have happened if she had never joined the BAU. The only one not consumed in self-pity was Seaver, if only because she was staring at the computer screen in confusion.

"Play it again." she said. The others all looked at her with dubious expressions. Watching the video had been painful enough the first time, why did she want to watch it again? Seaver herself wasn't entirely sure about why she wanted to revisit the video of a helpless Reid, but she remembered him telling her about an emergency precaution he'd put into place for abductions. Closing her eyes, she attempted to recall exactly what the protocol was. "Third word, second letter, every sentence." She muttered to herself. "What?" JJ asked in confusion. Seaver gave her a sheepish grin, she hadn't realized that her musings had been vocal. "Um, Spencer told me what to look for if he was ever abducted and his captors sent a video. He, um, he said that I should look for the first letter of the third word in every sentence. It would spell out some sort of message. Please play it again." "Seaver, how do you know this?" "Hotch, I will gladly explain, but please let me see if this works first."

Aware of the dubious gazes she was receiving from the team, Seaver grabbed a notepad and restarted the video. Five sets of eyes watched as she quickly scribbled: igympmlgthwatmimmjoicttwiiospwpirtteaideth. "What does that mean?" Garcia asked. "I'm not sure exactly." Seaver admitted. "Do you have a code generator installed on your laptop?" "Yes, wait, do you think this is some sort of code?" "Yea, Spencer said that there would be a website, a login, and a password." Seaver crossed her fingers, hoping that the code she'd just had Garcia input wasn't utter gibberish.

"Got it!" Garcia yelled excitedly. "The website is http: .com. The login is pitchoillimit and the password is hmgjsiy!" Ashley let out a small sigh of relief as Morgan gave her a congratulatory pat on the shoulder. Within a minute of obtaining the breadcrumbs Reid had cleverly left, she was into what looked like a map. "What is that?" she asked. "It looks like some sort of tracking signal." Morgan said, squinting at the map. "What the hell are they doing in Boston? Emily?" Five pairs of eyes looked anxiously over to Prentiss, who had gone pale at the mention of Reid's general location. "Boston is where I first met Ian." she answered in a shaky voice. "Garcia, does the signal tell you exactly where in Boston he is?" "Unfortunately not. Reid's GPS only tells what major city he's in." "So he might not even be in Boston?" Rossi asked. "No, Ian would definitely taken him to Boston if he's in the Massachusetts area." Prentiss said.

"Well, at least we know where to start." Hotch said. "Yeah, and there's a good chance that what the kid said was just to push us in the right direction." Morgan said, voice rising in excitement. "What?" he asked, noting Seaver's dubious expression. "I wouldn't be so sure." she murmured. "Does this go back to you knowing about Reid's failsafe when no one else did?" Hotch asked. Seaver gave a small nod, "Well, considering that we're still going to need to wait for you, Garcia, and Prentiss to be released; you might as well tell us."

Seaver gave an uncomfortable sigh, "Um, first off, you all need understand that I'm not some expert on Spence." "I thought I was the only one who called him that." JJ muttered. Seaver flushed red, _Damn I didn't mean for that to slip out._ "JJ, please focus!" Hotch admonished, "Go on Seaver." Seaver took a calming breath and continued, "As I was saying, I'm not some huge expert on Reid. I just remember after the Florida case Reid came up to me and mentioned that he had a failsafe for if he was ever abducted. He told me that the failsafe would come in the form of a spoken message and it would contain an ip address, a username, and a password. He said that the password would have something to do with all of our names. Ie: h for Hotch, m for Morgan, g for Garcia, j for JJ, s for me, i for Rossi, and y for Emily." "But why did he tell you?" Morgan asked. "Morgan," Hotch warned, "stop interrupting." "I was going to get to that." Seaver said. "It, um, it started after the first case I had with you guys. You know, the one with the father murdering all those women in that community." Seaver closed her eyes as the memory of that fateful night overtook her.

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	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is only for my and others' enjoyment!**

Chapter 10:

" _Ashley! Hey! Wait up!" she had exited as quickly and quietly as she could, not wanting her new training team to watch her breakdown. Trying and failing to cover the tears streaming down her face, she turned towards the voice calling her name. "What do you want Reid?" she asked, too exhausted to hide the misery she was feeling. Shame washed over her as she saw the look of uncensored concern on Spencer's face. "I just wanted to see if you were okay." he replied. Seaver laughed, "Why? So you can tear me down further? Why would you care? You made it pretty clear today that I wasn't your favorite person." "What?" he asked, confusion marring his features. "Oh, you thought because I set you straight that I hated you? No, Ashley listen, I've had to do that so many times. I honestly shouldn't have snapped at you like that, and I'm sorry. But, that's beside the point. Do you want to grab a coffee and talk?"_

" _I don't really think I'd be the best company right now. I just really want to go home and go to sleep." She turned to leave as he gently grabbed her arm. "Ashley, please, grab coffee with me. If you still want to go home after, then you can, but I think you might find it's better to talk to someone." "How would you know? You're the FBI's golden boy. You can do no wrong." She was surprised by the dark chuckle he let out. "I know more than you think. I'm not as innocent as I look."_ So Seaver had agreed to get coffee with him, if only to understand the darker side the doctor never let show.

" _Okay, we're at Starbucks. Now what? Is this the part where you rip into me for being an idiot?" she asked warily. "What? No!" he protested. "Um, this is the part where I ask you how you are and try to help you." "You should yell at me." she muttered, eyes downcast. "What I did was stupid and reckless. I could've gotten myself killed." "But why did you do it?" he asked. "What was so important about going back to that house that you had to put yourself into jeopardy like that?" It was all she could do to hold back the tears as she said, "I couldn't get over the guilt I had about my dad. I thought, if I could just find one family to apologize to; then maybe the guilt would be gone. Maybe I wouldn't feel so responsible for the destruction he caused." She glanced up at him through her eyelashes, and was surprised by the response she was. She'd expected him to look at her with pity or disgust, not understanding. Reid fiddled with his styrofoam cup for a few minutes before asking, "Do you want to maybe go take a walk through that park, or do you want to stay and talk here?" "Um, we can go for a walk, I guess." she'd replied before following him out the door._

 _At first they walked in silence, but then he started talking in a slow and deliberate manner; almost as if he was forcing the words out, like they'd been inside him for too long. "Did anyone ever tell you about the time I was taken hostage by an unsub?" he asked. "No, what happened." "About three years, eight months, and nine days ago we got a call about a man who was murdering people for their 'sins'. We'd just learned that he suffered from dissociative identity disorder, but we were nowhere close to catching him. The sheriff had told Hotch about how a samaritan had been walking his dog when he saw someone peering into the window of the first victims' house. Hotch sent me and JJ to talk to him, and I realized that he was the unsub. The man had noticed that we were onto him and ran into the cornfield. I ran after him and left JJ to search the barn. A few minutes later, I heard JJ scream and was knocked out by the unsub. When I came back around, I was handcuffed to a chair in an abandoned cabin and an angel was pointing a revolver at my head. I was able to keep him from shooting me, but my relief was short-lived. The next time I met him, it was the man's father, who was his second personality. The father accused me of being a sinner and beat me with a log. The pain was unbearable. Finally, the last of the man's personalities, the son, came across me. He was more sympathetic than the other two, and tried to 'help me' by drugging me with dilaudid. He drugged me three more times after, so by the time the team found me, I was an addict."_

" _Reid." He waved off her voiced concern. "It took me four months to get clean, and I can't even begin to tell you how arduous it was to stay that way. After about nine and a half months being sober, there was this case where I watched a kid get shot in front of me. The guilt over watching him die was so bad that I started getting these intense cravings. It didn't matter that it wasn't my fault, the guilt was just eating me so bad that I would've given anything to forget. A few weeks after I went to my first Beltway Clean Cops meeting and was called out by a case. The unsub was a high school student who had been severely bullied. He was murdering his captors and the profile said he would most likely end up committing suicide by cop. I knew, if I was forced to watch or partake in his death, then I would fall back into that pit I had worked so hard to dig myself out of. So, I told Hotch and Morgan that the kid was going to visit his mother's grave, instead of the police station where we were protecting his girlfriend. I ended up handing Prentiss my weapon and walking unarmed toward the unsub. I blocked the team's shot and was able to talk him down. I was able to get him out alive. The team was so incredibly pissed at me and Morgan wouldn't talk to me for two months, but I knew it was worth it. I had saved a life and prevented myself from letting the darkness consume me."_

" _Ashley, I'm telling you this because I understand what it's like to want to forget. To be so consumed by guilt, it follows you everywhere. And, um I brought you here to help you. You see that building, that's where the Beltway Clean Cops meetings are held. I'd like for you to come with me." "Why?" she asked defensively, "I'm not an addict." Reid sighed, "While its primary purpose is to help struggling addicts, it's open to any law enforcement officer going through a difficult time. It's meant to support everyone, no matter their background. I've got to go, it's about to start. But, just think about it. It might help."_

 _He turned and walked into the brightly lit building. Seaver sat on the bench, trying to absorb everything he'd just told her. If anyone else had told her that Spencer Reid was a drug addict, she would've told them they were insane. But, after talking to him, she realized every word he said was true and it had taken a lot to tell her. She deliberated a minute longer before following him inside. Seaver stood in the shadow of the doorway, listening to the attendees make their introductions. The leader then asked if anyone wanted to speak, and she was surprised to watch Reid stand up. "Hi everyone." he said in his awkward and shy manner of speaking. "My name is Spencer and I was addicted to Dilaudid. I've been clean for three years, four months, and nine days. There have been times where I've had these intense cravings, like when I was shot in the knee last year, and I'll be the first to admit that I've had a few close calls. But I'm not here about myself tonight. I'm here because of a new colleague. She's not an addict or anything, but she's going through a difficult time and I'm worried about her. I'm terrified that if she continues down this road, then she'll spiral into something she can't bounce back from. I don't want that for her. I don't want that for anyone. All I can do is hope that she'll let me do for her what no one was able to do for me. To help her find the light again, because no one should have to battle this darkness on their own."_

 _Seaver wiped the gathering tears from her eyes and stepped into the room. She watched Reid give her a reassuring and relieved smile before sitting down. Taking a deep breath she said, "Hi. My name's Ashley and my father was a serial killer." Seaver told her story, not leaving out a single detail and pouring out all the guilt she'd felt over the years. She had never realized how great it felt to talk to people about what she had gone through, she was glad that she had followed Reid into the building. Ashley sat and listened as other law enforcement officers talked about their battles and was amazed at how supportive everyone was. The two hour meeting felt as if it was only ten minutes and she was disappointed when it came to an end._

" _Spencer?" she said, as she and Reid were walking to his car. "Yes?" "Thank you, for bringing me here. It, um, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders." "I'm glad. Um, you know, you're more than welcome to come to the weekly meetings with me if you want." "Yeah, I'd like that. Would, um, would you mind being my sponsor? Just so I can talk to someone when I'm struggling." His features brightened at her question, "I'd love to. Just promise me that there will be no secrets between us." he said. "Great! And of course." she said. They kept walking for a few minutes before she asked him, "Is it okay if I call you Spence? I mean, not when we're at work or anything, but maybe when we're alone." "I'd really like that Ashley."_

"Except, I guess he meant no secrets for me." she said bitterly, finishing her story. She glanced up at her teammates, but found that no one would meet her eyes. "He never told me." Morgan muttered. "He didn't tell anyone." JJ said. "Why didn't he tell us? Did he say?" she asked Ashley. "Um, he said that he felt like none of you would understand. He didn't want to make the first move, but none of you approached him." "We all thought Gideon would." Hotch murmured. "He did," Ashley said, "but apparently the only advice Gideon could give him was to make sure it didn't impact his work." "He should've have come to us. We would've helped him." Morgan said angrily. "He probably thought that we would baby him or that we would reject him." Prentiss said guiltily. "I can only imagine how he must have felt when he found out Hotch told me to take that beating for him." "Wait, that was true?" Garcia asked. Hotch nodded, "I was terrified that another encounter like what happened with Hankle would push Reid over the edge. I told Emily to protect him, no matter the cost. I wonder how he found out, he never said anything."

"What about everything else he said?" Seaver asked. "Did you really tell an unsub that he made your life a living hell and beat the shit out of him?" Hotch nodded guiltily, "It was the only way to get the gun I had strapped to my shin, I thought he knew I was just acting." "What about Rossi not wanting anything to do with him?" It was Rossi's turn to look guilty, "A few months back on the job, I had to go to Pennsylvania. Hotch suggested Reid go with me and I was less than enthusiastic. I guess it hurt the kid more than I thought it would." They all reflected on their own interactions with Reid, things that they had brushed off as teasing or part of the job, but might have hurt their colleague. "Guys," JJ's voice broke through their reflection, "Doyle's asking to videochat."

"Okay, everyone out! Doyle's wants me. I don't want him trying to hurt any of you." Prentiss ordered. "I don't think so Emily." Morgan said. "We're with you, for better or worse." Garcia reassured her. Emily gave her teammates a relieved smile, she wouldn't have to watch Reid being tortured by herself. With a heavy heart, she hit accept.

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	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is only for my and others' enjoyment!**

Chapter 11:

Reid had been able to get a few hours of sleep before the sound a door opening woke him up. "Wake up Spencer." Doyle said, slapping him across the face, "you wouldn't want to keep Emily waiting." Reid's heart accelerated as he waited for a bound and beaten Prentiss to be pulled into the room. Instead, he was greeted by the sound of Doyle saying "Hello Lauren." "Ian," Prentiss' voice filled the room. "What do you want?" Doyle chuckled, "The good doctor and I were just about to become better acquainted. I thought you might want to watch." It didn't take a profiler to hear the anxiety in Prentiss' voice. "Let him go!" she begged. "This is between you and me. You want to hurt someone? Take me! I will gladly take his place, just don't hurt him." Doyle chuckled at her desperation, "But you are well equipped to handle torture Lauren, at least of the physical kind. I can't break you if you're prepared to be tortured, but maybe watching your colleague scream and knowing it's your fault will make you hurt the way I have."

"No, please!" Prentiss was cut off by Doyle yelling something in Celtic. Reid's heart rate sped up in anticipation as a large fist connected with the side of his face. _Ouch_. The blow hurt, but he was proud to have not made a sound. Blow after blow rained down on him, and it was all he could do to not scream. "Boss, he's not even flinching." "Keep hitting him!" Doyle's irate voice ordered. The man complied, acting as if Reid was his own personal punching bag. Reid gritted his teeth, clenching his muscles in attempt to protect himself for any long term damage. _Just think of it as another training session with Morgan. What is it that he was always telling you? "What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger pretty boy!"_

"Still nothing boss!" his tormentor grunted. "Take off his gag, he must be biting down it to prevent from screaming." Doyle ordered. _Damn._ Rough hands removed the cloth gag before once again beating Reid senseless. "Just scream when you want it to stop Spencer." Doyle told him. "There are nine year olds who hit harder than your man!" Reid huffed, thinking of how it would make Hotch smile in heaven. " _I hope I didn't do any permanent damage." "Hotch, I was a child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school. You kick like a nine-year-old girl."_ He'd used humor to both alleviate his supervisor's guilt and his own feelings of worthlessness.

"Better be careful Spencer." Doyle warned, "That mouth of yours will get you in trouble." If Reid wasn't blindfolded, he would've rolled his eyes. _Could this guy be any more cliche?_ "Can't get any worse for me. I'm already in hell. Hey Emily! Are you throwing a party to celebrate the fact that you don't have to deal with me any more?" "Why would I do that, Reid? You know how much you mean to us." Prentiss replied. Reid snorted, "Who's we? Our now dead team? Or is it you and JJ? Hi JJ! At least you can say that me getting taken this time wasn't your fault! This guy's a saint compared to Tobias. But you wouldn't know that would you? All you did was almost get me killed and forced me to rescue myself." Reid heard a sharp intake of breath, "That's not fair Spence." he could hear the tears in JJ's voice. "You told me you didn't blame me." "I lied." Desperation filled his thoughts, he needed to do any and everything to ensure that neither Prentiss nor JJ would be put in harm's way. Even if it meant that they hated him, if he could keep them safe, then it would be worth it.

"He doesn't sound too happy to hear your voice Lauren." Doyle taunted. "Ian, let him go. How is torturing a man that hates me going to achieve your revenge?" Prentiss pleaded. "Ah, but you do care for him. I see how you flinch every time my man hits him. It must kill you knowing he's hurt because of you, that it's your fault." Reid heard a gasp from Prentiss and wished he could see what Doyle was doing. Anything to set Emily on edge couldn't be good. "This is a shillelagh." Doyle informed him. Reid's blood ran cold as he pictured the wooden cane his captor was holding. "It was passed down from my father to me and from his father to him. It has been in my family for generations. Maybe we'll get a better reaction from you Spencer."

"Go right ahead." Reid said in a bored tone. Doyle lightly rested the cane against Reid's chest, taunting him with a glimpse of the torture yet to come. His heartbeat accelerated at the woosh of the cane being drawn back, and all of the air was sucked out of his body as it collided with his abdomen. Once, twice, three times it struck against his stomach before Doyle chose another part of his body to torture. Bone-cracking blows attacked his arms, legs, and chest, but never his head. It seemed that Doyle feared a blow to the head would bring his captive into unconsciousness and unable to maintain the torture. Reid's entire body trembled under the pain each blow cost. The old Spencer would have screamed by this point, maybe even begged for the torture to end. However, this new Spencer's response was only to retreat into the brightest spot in his brain. The part where his true heart resided. Where all the best memories his eidetic memory had to offer, including one he had yet to tell anyone. It was that memory that he focused on.

"Just one scream Spencer. Is that too much to ask? Just one scream and this will all be over. Just one scream for Lauren, it is her fault you're here you know." "Go to hell." Reid gasped. "Only if you go there first." Doyle countered. "Kind of hard to, considering I'm already there." If Morgan had taught him anything, it was how much having a smart mouth could be used as a protective mechanism. Doyle continued beating him until Reid could feel the slickness of his blood flowing from cuts the blows had opened up. Right as Reid was at his breaking point, he heard the door of his cell open yet again. "Boss." another one of Doyle's goons said. "We need you."

Doyle let out a sigh of irritation, "Give me five more minutes." he ordered. "I'm impressed Spencer. You're not the weakling I thought you would be. But that doesn't matter. At one point or another, I will hear you scream. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but it will happen. What do you say? Should we play a game before I leave?" The gag was reapplied, preventing Reid from answering. _Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump._ He could feel his heart beating a violent rhythm against his ribcage as the barrell of the revolver was pressed against it. Logically he knew that Doyle would not actually kill him, but Russian roulette always produced an intense reaction. He figured it always would after what had happened with Hankle. Nothing would change that, even though he had switched to using a revolver, he was still terrified of the gun. He had thought that, by taking control of the weapon that had almost ended his life multiple times, he would be able to rid himself of the irrational fear; but his body's reaction proved otherwise. If anything, he was more terrified of the revolver. "Ah, that's the response I was hoping for." Doyle murmured as he cocked the gun and pulled the revolver six times. "I was starting to worry that you'd outgrown our little game, but it seems like it still causes an effect. Not as large as I would like, but that doesn't matter. I will break you." The gun was removed from Reid's heart and he was once again left to the darkness.

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	12. Chapter 12

**Hi Everyone! Sorry for the delay in updating the story! It's been one heck of a week with little internet, and among other things, my birthday. :). But I'm back, with three more chapters! I will also be posting a Criminal Minds-NCIS LA cross-over story titled Allies either tonight or tomorrow.**

 **To Hippiechic81: Guess you'll have to see.**

 **To Tannerrose5: I saw them as having a special relationship too, but not necessarily a romantic one.**

 **To Ahowell1993: Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it!**

 **To everyone else: Keep reading and reviewing! You know how much I enjoy hearing your feedback.**

 **Without further ado, here is the next installation!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Criminal Minds or its characters. I just wish I did. This story is for my and others' enjoyment. So please enjoy!**

"We need to go!" "Emily," "Hotch, did you not hear what Doyle said to him? He told him that he would break him, and then he'll kill him. Reid's strong, but he can't hold out forever. It's a miracle that he even made it this long; most people crack after the first swing. Shillelaghs are meant to inflict as much damage possible, especially when they're applied to the same part of the body multiple times. We need to go now, before Reid comes back in pieces!" She moved to get out of her bed, but Hotch caught her arm. "We also need to be smart. Emily, what's going to happen if you go in there with a half-assed plan to rescue him. Best case scenario, Doyle catches wind that you're coming and he moves Reid. Worst case scenario, he kills you before you get within ten feet of Reid." "Ian wouldn't kill me," Prentiss said numbly, "he'd take his time torturing me until I went insane, and then he would kill me."

"Either way, you know how much Reid would blame himself if something happened to you." "I don't know any more Hotch. You've heard what he's said, I think I'd be the last person Spencer Reid would cry for. He'd probably think that it was justice for what I put him through." "You might be surprised. Remember the Hankle case? He pretty much called me a narcissistic egomaniac, all so he could pass along a clue. If he hadn't, there's no doubt in my mind that we wouldn't have found him in time. Reid's just doing what he has to in order to survive. Trust me, he's going to apologize as soon as we get him back."

Emily sighed, she knew her boss was only trying to make her feel better, but she couldn't the sight of Reid being beaten with the shillelagh. Even if he didn't mean any of the things he'd said, it would be months before she'd be able to be in the same room as him; she wouldn't be able to handle the guilt. "Maybe you're right," she said, "but I can't just sit by and do nothing. He's still a kid, and I don't want him to suffer anymore." Her voice broke, imagining the beaten and battered condition her teammate would be in by the time they got to him. Morgan wrapped his arms around her, "I don't either, but Hotch is right. We wouldn't be doing Pretty boy any favors by running around like a pair of chickens with their heads cut off. We need a list of Doyle's properties, his known associates, how he travels. We need to understand him and how he operates better than we know ourselves."

 _Need to understand how he operates better than how we operate. Need to understand how he operates better than how we operate._ Emily sat up as if she had been stuck with a pin. "Emily?" Morgan asked cautiously, "Is everything alright?" "What?" she asked, momentarily forgetting her teammates were still in the room with her. "Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about what you said. You mentioned that we needed to understand Doyle and how he operates better than he knows himself. I obviously can tell you a lot, because I was in a relationship with him, while undercover." "You were what?" Rossi demanded. "It's honestly not that big a deal Rossi, especially since I'd done it before." Prentiss rolled her eyes exasperatedly, "Anyway, there were four other members of my team while I was under. They handled surveillance and tracking all of Doyle's transactions, so that we'd have an idea of anything he was planning and how much damage he might cause." "That's great Emily, but what does that have to do with anything he's doing now?" "I was getting to that," Prentiss said, glaring at her boss for interrupting her. "As I was saying, we had access to everything while I was under. When I found out that Ian had escaped from the prison we had put him in, I contacted my team to get access to everything we had on him. I thought I might be able to determine his endgame from the profile, but a few of my teammates took it as the go ahead to start tracking the assets of Doyle, his underlings, and all of their aliases."

"Do you think they'd be willing to help us?" Hotch asked. "Considering that Doyle just murdered Psia's fiance and nearly killed Clyde over a decade ago; I think they'd murder me for not including them. We all want Doyle's head on a stick!" "Tell them we'll flip them for it when the time comes." Rossi said, Morgan nodding in agreement. Prentiss looked to Hotch for confirmation before pulling out her cell phone and dialing the burner Psia had told her about in their last conversation.

"Lo?" a woman answered sleepily. "Psia," "Emily? Oh my gosh, are you okay? Clyde and I just saw the news! It said that there were agents still in the building when it exploded. Please tell me you weren't there when it happened." Prentiss smiled at the rapid fire questions her friend asked, some things never changed. "No, I was too busy getting the shit beat out of me by one of Ian's friends." she answered. "What?" Sia's voice sharpened, "Doyle was in Virginia? Clyde and I were in Montreal for a week because we heard chatter about him taking part in a huge weapons trade. We just got into Boston, but we should be able to get a flight down there by tonight!" "That isn't necessary." Prentiss assured her, "we know that Ian's back in Boston. I was calling to see if you and Clyde would be willing to help my team and I hunt him down like the animal he is." "Team? Emily, we talked about this. They don't have the clearance to be involved in this. Please tell me that you didn't tell them." "Psia, that all flew out the window the minute he targeted my team and abducted one of my friends!" Prentiss snapped, pissed that they were discussing protocol while Reid's life was in danger.

"He what?" Psia asked sharply. "Doyle was the one who bombed the FBI Training Academy." Prentiss said. "A few of my team members were just leaving the building when it went off. They were lucky, they only suffered concussions. However, we did lose our entire night crew, as well as a damn good agent. I thought that was the worst of it until one of my teammates showed up to the hospital with a package from Doyle. There was a tablet with a video of one of the younger members of my team bound and unconscious in Doyle's vehicle. He's been taunting us with live streams of him torturing Reid. Psia, he used a shillelagh on him. He's staying strong, but I don't know how much more he can handle. We need your help getting him back and making sure Doyle never sees the light of day again."

"Of course! How long has your friend been in captivity? We need to gauge whether or not we can afford to wait for you to get here." "Doyle's had Reid for about fourteen hours. He's been beaten pretty badly, but he's holding on. As much as I would like to get him back as quickly as possible, I won't risk you and Clyde's lives like that. The best chance we'll have is when we have as many numbers as possible." "How soon can you be here then?" Psia asked. "We have a jet that we use for assignments, my boss is asking the director for permission to use it. If we can get on the jet, we should make it to Boston by four o'clock this afternoon." "Okay, I'll wake Clyde and start going over what we have on Doyle. Do you know exactly where he took your friend?" "No, just that they're in the general Boston vicinity." Emily said, dreading that they would be looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack, Reid's location. "Okay, we might need to wait until tomorrow to go looking for him. Clyde and I can cash in some favors, but there's no guarantee that they'll pan out or will get back to us quickly." "I know, meet us at the Boston FBI field office. We'll set up central command there." "Okay, bye Emily. Be safe!" Hotch entered the room as soon as Prentiss terminated the phone call. "I just got off the phone with the Deputy Director." he said, "He told me to do whatever it takes to bring Reid home safely. Wheels up in twenty!"


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Criminal Minds or its characters. I just wish I did. This story is for my and others' enjoyment. So please enjoy!**

 **Please Read and Review!**

Chapter 13:

Reid woke to the sound of hushed voices outside his cell. The most recent beating he had sustained had left him in a limbotic state between consciousness and unconsciousness. His head pulsed with the throbbing ache he normally associated his recent migraines with. _How ironic,_ his mind clouded with bitter thoughts, _in order to remove myself from the incessant migraines, I have to get abducted and beaten._ It was all he could do to prevent himself from falling into the cold, dark embrace of the emotional abyss of self-pity. The abyss was like a toxic relationship, one that he always fell back on no matter the number of times he told himself he wouldn't; because sometimes the emotional blowback was more intense than his intellectual walls. _Probably because you're weak._ Tobias' voice whispered in his ear. _I'm not weak,_ he replied, _I survived my father walking out on my mother and I, I survived high school and college, I survived putting her in Bennington, I survived Dowd, I survived Elle's betrayal, I survived Gideon leaving, I survived Anthrax and getting shot, I survived YOU._ Tobias' voice was replaced by Morgan's, _Survival doesn't mean anything if you keep letting it happen to you. I wouldn't have._ Reid grimaced, too many times had he tried to convince himself that the hardships he'd faced could happen to anyone. Now he could see he'd been unsuccessful, he would always see himself as the most likely victim. _You're only a victim if you act like one Spencer._ Hotch's voice this time. _Learn from your past mistakes and forge a new path._

 _Forge a new path, forge a new path, forge a new path._ Reid's mind raced as he plotted his escape. It was obvious that it would need to be soon, Doyle was so close to breaking him, but there were factors to consider. Why had Doyle taken him in the first place? This had to run deeper than just trying to get to Emily. How had he run such a successful operation underground for so long? Did he have an inside man? Why did he leave for long periods at a time? Was this Doyle's endgame or was his abduction just the linchpin? His internal musings were interrupted by the rising volume of the conversation outside. _Any information is vital information_ , Reid reassured himself, straining to listen in.

"Coinnigh do ghuth síos!" an unfamiliar voice warned. "Cén fáth? Níl aon duine a chloisteáil." Doyle replied. "Cad mar gheall ar an príosúnach?" the voice asked. "Eisean? Tá sé ag curtha amach fuar do na sé uair an chloig caite, glaoch a chuardach le haghaidh duit féin." Doyle said dismissively. Reid let his head fall to his chest, containing the sigh of relief he'd felt about the heart rate monitor not registering his reentry into the world of the living. With bated breath, he waited for his ruse to be discovered. It took all of his willpower to not flinch away in surprise when a cold, slim hand crept under his shirt, coming to a rest over his heart.

"Sásta?" Doyle's voice echoed through the room. Sharp nails dug into Reid's chest, but the hand did not retract. "Go hiontach, tá sé amach fuar." Doyle scoffed, "Ar ndóigh, tá sé! Mo fir a fhios conas a bheith ag obair le fear os a chionn." "Caithfidh sé a bheith leithdháileadh do chumas mar cheannaire agus mar feidhme. Tá sé go hiontach chun féachaint tú ag obair Ian, bhí sé do na cúig bliana déag anuas." the voice said in a sultry whisper. "Cén fáth an tástáil sin?" Doyle asked suspiciously. "Ba mhaith Fiú amháin an dáta feidhme is ardoilte ann a rialú an rithim a heartbeat agus awake. Theastaigh uaim a chinntiú nach raibh againn lucht féachana neamhbheartaithe. Tá tú go maith ag tying suas scaoilte chríochnaíonn Ian, ach imní dom go bheith ag labhairt amach sa oscailte, a bheith ar mo chúlra. Ba cheart duit níos ísle i ndáiríre do ghuth cé." The nails dug deeper into Reid's skin before the hand retracted from his chest.

"Cén fáth ar chóir dom nach yell?" Doyle hissed, "Conas a rinne siad a chinneadh nuair a bhí mé chomh tapa?" "Cosúil go raibh do bréagán beag gléas rianú." _Crack!_ An unknown object, presumably Doyle's fist broke the concrete wall next to the door. "What? How did we miss this? What have you heard?" Reid could almost feel the palpability of Doyle's rage, radiating across the room. He expected Doyle to storm over and start beating him again, but was relieved to hear Doyle's partner redirect his attention. "Tá a fhios acu go bhfuil sé i limistéar Bhostún, ach ní na comhordanáidí cruinn. Thagann siad anocht. Pleananna sí ar chaiteachas bhaint amach leis an líonra tanaí de theagmhálacha sásta labhairt léi gan a chur le piléar trí mheán a inchinn." "Is fuath sin, go leor di, huh, shíl mé go raibh mé ar cheann de na cúpla." Doyle chuckled bitterly.

"Ní féidir leat a bheith sa mhéid is go domhain chomh fada gan a dhéanamh do sciar cothrom de naimhde. Léir nach raibh cinnte." The voice warned. "Bhí sé riachtanach." Doyle replied. "Bhí Mar seo?" The voice asked incredulously, "Cén fáth a chaitheamh an oiread sin ama agus acmhainní ar saighdiúir d'fhéadfadh a insint duit rud ar bith? Is cinnte nach bhfuil a fhios aige faoi Declan, ní bheadh sí inis sé dó." _Declan? Who's Declan?_ "Ní bhaineann sé seo imní cad a fhios aige faoi Declan, tá sé seo mar gheall ar súil le haghaidh súil. Maidir dhéanamh Lauren fulaingt mar tá mé fhulaing. Ba mhaith liom í a fháil amach cad é mar a chailleadh do chuid fola féin." Doyle snarled. "Fola? Tá siad comh-oibrithe, rud ar bith eile." Amusement tinged Doyle's voice at his partner's disbelief, "Ah, mar sin is cosúil go bhfuil Lauren choinnigh a rún maith. Ach ní hionann an ábhar, d'fhoghlaim mé é agus úsáidtear é chun mo buntáiste. Bealtaine mé i láthair an Dr Spencer Reid, an chéad col ceathrar anaithnid de Lauren Reynolds."

Reid's blood ran cold. He did not speak Celtic, he had never seen the point. There were very few books worth reading in Celtic, fewer Irish journals worth corresponding with, and no cases involving the Irish mob. While Reid's bucket list involved mastering over half the languages known to man, he had yet to even consider learning Celtic. However, because Celtic was a latin-based language, there were a few words he was able to discern from the conversation: secret,blood, of, first, and cousin. Putting them together, he was able to uncover Doyle's true motive for taking him. He hadn't been abducted only because he was Prentiss' co-worker, but also because he was her cousin; her best kept secret. Hurt coursed through him, I can't believe she didn't tell me. It wasn't her secret to keep, I had a right to know! So shocked was he by Doyle's unwitting revelation, that it was minutes before he was able to refocus on his captor's conversation.

"An gá dom dul hullmhúcháin a dhéanamh. Tá sé seo bhrú cinnte suas an amchlár." Doyle's voice had returned to the hushed murmur that had woken Spencer from his state of unconsciousness. "Cad ba mhaith leat dom a dhéanamh?" His partner asked. "Ceann ar an líomatáiste FBI, déan iarracht a stalla ar bhealach ar bith is féidir leat." Doyle replied. "Cad mar gheall air?" the partner sounded anxious. "Tá sé fós gan aithne, go mbeadh sé i bhfad ró-de hassle a bhogadh dó." Doyle reassured them. "Nach bhfuil tú ag cur gach ceann de do chuid gardaí?" the partner insisted. "Tá, ach breathnú ar air. Níl sé ag dul in áit ar bith!" Impatience tinged through Doyle's voice. "Ceart go leor, beidh mé téacs chugat nuair a fhios agam níos mó." the partner answered, walking away.

"A ligean ar dul!" Doyle yelled to his gang. Reid listened to the heavy stomp of boots file past his cell, and then the slam of a door. Good! They're gone. Reid waited another ten minutes, praying that this would be his much needed break. The fingers of his right hand groped aimlessly until finding their target. As a well-practiced magic enthusiast, Reid had dabbled in all areas of the field. However, it hadn't been until after the Hankle debacle that he'd truly looked into the art of escape. After his abduction and torture at the hands of Tobias Hankle, Reid had promised himself that he would always have a way to escape situations. In addition to installing a tracking device into his watch, he'd also wrapped a bobby pin around the watch catch. Sweat dripped off Reid's fingers as he spent an agonizing ten minutes struggling to free his wrists from the chains binding them above him.

Click. His hands came down in front of him, but did not spring apart. "Mmmpf!" Reid let out an irritated groan, frustrated that he would have to pick another lock in order to get his hands free. This would be easier if I could see what I was doing. He thought, hands grasping at the knot of his blindfold. With a savage yank, Spencer pulled his blindfold and then gag free. "Woosh." He gasped, sucking air into his mouth in greedy breaths. "Shit." he muttered, looking down at his bound wrists. While bobby pins worked on nearly every type of binding, they would be useless against flex-cuffs. Guess I'll have to wait a bit longer to be completely free. He thought ruefully, attacking the chains around his ankles. "Shit!" He swore again, glaring at the angry welts around his ankles. Doyle had stripped him of both his socks and his sneakers, leaving his skin to the mercy of the cold, tight chains. The wounds would heal, but he had little doubt that they would also scar. Get over it! He scolded himself, it's a small price to pay for your freedom. With a savage yank, he pulled the electrodes of the heart monitor off his chest.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Shit! Reid hobbled out of the room, praying that Doyle was too far away to notice the alarm he'd tripped. Spencer stumbled into the room next to his, noting the presence of multiple pairs of coats and boots. Praising his luck, he pulled on the boots and wrapped a coat around his shoulders as well as he could with bound hands. Get a move on Spencer! You need to get far away from here before Doyle gets back! The sunlight assaulted his eyes as he exited the concrete bunker Doyle had stored him in. With a suppressed grimace, he limped down the muddy dirt road, praying that it would take him where he needed to go.

~Boston FBI Field Office: 17:47~

"We've been going around in circles for the past two hours." Frustration seeped through Prentiss' voice as she was hung up on yet again. "So much for having useful contacts." "Emily, you need to understand that this will take time." Hotch said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "We'll get him back." "Yeah, and then I'll kick his ass for putting all of us through this!" Morgan added. Prentiss glared at him. "It wasn't his fault Morgan!" Morgan held his hands up defensively, "I know, but Pretty boy and I are gonna have a chat about counter-surveillance and surroundings' awareness." "I think we all would benefit from that." Rossi joked, Seaver nodding in agreement. "Protection 101:" JJ quipped, "how to keep yourself safe from psychopaths, sociopaths, and," her voice trailed off.

The entire team swiveled around, turning to see what had caused their friend to lose her train of thought. A man had just entered the Boston headquarters, drawing the attention of all the agents in the central bullpen. His build was impossible to discern from his slouched posture and baggy overcoat, but he appeared to be tall and thin. Thick, dark hair, matted with dirt and blood, hung lankly against his pale forehead. Deep purple bruises trailed along his jawline and down his neck, disappearing under the bloody rags of what was a button-down shirt. The man winced as if the light bothered him, bringing his hands up to shield his face. The heavy overcoat fell away as he did so, revealing two thin wrists bound together with flex-cuffs. All the agents present gaped, momentarily forgetting the protocol for unexpected visitors, as a single voice broke the silence, "Reid?"

 **My apologies for not posting this with the actual chapter, blame the sleep deprivation. This is the basic google translate of what I wanted the conversation to be in Celtic, so apologies for the fact it didn't actually translate that way. This is what the ENGLISH version of the Celtic conversation should say:** **"Keep your voice down!" The unfamiliar voice warned. "Why? No one to hear." Doyle replied. "What about the prisoner?" Asked the voice. "Him? He's been out cold for the last six hours, feel free to look for yourself." They Doyle dismissively. Reid Let his head fall to his chest, containing the sigh of relief he'd felt about the heart rate monitor not registering his reentry into the world of the living. With bated breath, he waited for his ruse to be discovered.**  
 **It took all of his willpower to not flinch away in surprise when a cold, slim hand crept under his shirt, coming to a rest over his heart. "Satisfied?" Doyle's voice echoed through the room. Sharp nails dug into Reid's chest, but the hand did not retract. "Impressive, he's cold out." Doyle scoffed, "Of course he is! My men know how to work him over." "It must be attributed to a leader as skilled as yourself. It is wonderful to see you working Ian, it was for the last fifteen years." the voice they in a sultry whisper. "Why this test then?" Doyle asked suspiciously. " Even the most skilled operative would not be able to control the rhythm of their heartbeat while awake. I wanted to ensure we did not have an unintentional spectator. You are good at tying up loose ends Ian, but I am concerned to be speaking out in the open, it must be due to my background. You should really lower your voice though." The nails dug deeper into Reid's skin before the hand retracted from his chest.**

 **"Why should I not yell?" Doyle hissed, "How did they determine where I was as fast?" "It appears that your little toy had a tracking device." Crack! The unknown object, presumably Doyle's fist broke the concrete wall next to the door. "What? How did we miss that? What have you heard?" Reid could almost feel the palpability of Doyle's rage, radiating across the room. He expected Doyle to storm over and start beating him again, but was relieved to hear Doyle's partner redirect his attention. "They know he is in the Boston area, but not the exact coordinates. They arrive tonight. She plans on spending tonight trying to reach out to the thin network of contacts willing to talk to her without putting a bullet through her brain." "She is hated that much? Huh, I thought that I was one of the few." Doyle chuckled bitterly.  
"You can not be in that world so long without obtaining your fair share of enemies. You sure didn't." The voice warned. "It was necessary." Doyle replied. "As this was?" The voice Asked incredulously, "Why spend so much time and resources on a prison that can't tell you anything? Certainly he does not know about Declan, she would not have told him." _Declan? Who's Declan?_ "This does not concern what he knew about Declan, this is due to an eye for an eye. So that Lauren suffers as I have suffered. I want her to know what it's like to lose your own blood. " Doyle snarled. "Blood? They are co-workers, nothing else." Amusement tinged Doyle's voice at his partner's disbelief, "Ah, so it seems that Lauren kept her secret well. But that does not matter, I learned it and used it to my advantage. May I present Dr. Spesncer Reid , the unknown first cousin of Lauren Reynolds."**

 **"I need to make preparations. This has certainly pushed up the timetable." Doyle's voice had returned to the hushed murmur that had woken Spencer from his state of unconsciousness."What do you want me to do?" His partner asked. "Go to the FBI Field office, try to stall in any way you can." Doyle replied. "What about him?" the partner sounded anxious. "He is still unconscious, it would be too much of a hassle to move him." Doyle reassured them. "You are taking all of your guards though?" the partner insisted. "Yes, but look at him. He's not going anywhere!" Impatience tinged through Doyle's voice. "Alright, I'll text you when I know more." the partner answered, walking away.  
"Let's go!" Doyle yelled to his gang.**

 **~End of Translation~ Again, I am so so sorry for not posting this with the chapter. Thank you to the readers who informed me about this! -Criminalmindsaddict16**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi Everyone! Sorry about not posting the translation with the chapter. That was a big whoops on my part. Thank you to the two readers who pointed that out to me. For those of you who are NCIS LA fans, Allies is now posted. Be prepared for some serious suspense when Deeks is arrested and accused of being Reid's partner (Spoilers from the current seasons of both shows). I also want to point out that a poll has been posted on my profile page. I currently have seven ideas running through my head of stories to write after I finish 'Family Always' and I need your input deciding which one to write first. Please take the time to let me know which plot line y'all want me to start with.**

 **To kbf: Glad you like the story. Sorry about not posting the translation. Thanks for pointing that out.**

 **To hairbrain1947: Sorry about that. Blame the sleep deprivation.**

 **To hippiechic81: But will he stay that way? Mwuahahaha ;)**

 **To ahowell1993: I didn't either until I wrote it.**

 **To everyone else: keep reading and reviewing! Hope you guys are enjoying this story cause it's far from over!**

 **-Xoxo Elisa**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. I just wish I did! This story is for my and others' enjoyment**

Chapter 14:

"Reid?" Spencer attempted to locate the source of the voice, but found his focus greatly diminished by the intense pounding of his head. Almost twenty-four hours in almost-complete darkness would give even the healthiest of individuals a migraine. For Reid, however, it was absolute agony. He attempted to further cover his eyes, but the gesture only further irritated his battered body. "Reid?" the voice asked again, clearly agitated. Spencer opened his mouth to assure them that he was fine, but he found his throat was too dry to attempt conversation. Black spots danced through his vision, and then he felt nothing.

"Reid!" Morgan yelled, rushing towards his fallen friend. "Reid? Spencer? Pretty boy? C'mon man, answer me!" "What's wrong with him?" Garcia demanded. "I don't know baby girl!" Morgan snapped, his fingers flying toward the pulse point on Reid's neck, "but his pulse is extremely erratic! We need to call an ambulance!" His eyes flickered towards the agents still gaping at him, "Now!" "Right, sorry." one of the Boston agents whipped out her cellphone and dialed 911. "Hello? 911? Yes, my name is SSA Donna Matherson, with the Boston FBI Field Office. I need you to dispatch an ambulance to my location. The missing member of our BAU unit, out of Quantico, just turned up. He's been held for almost twenty-four hours, and has been badly beaten and tortured. He just lost consciousness and his pulse is very erratic. No, he's not convulsing. No, he does not appear to have difficulty breathing. Okay, thank you!" Turning towards Morgan she said, "The bus should be here in about five minutes Agent Morgan."

Morgan nodded, _Hang on kid,_ he thought as a hand thrust a knife in his direction. "What's this?" he asked. "It's a knife Morgan." Rossi answered sarcastically, "unless you want to keep the kid's hands bound, you'll need it." "Right, of course. Sorry Rossi." Morgan's face flushed with embarrassment. In his haste to check that Reid was still alive, he had ignored the fact his friend's hands were still bound together. Morgan gently grabbed his colleague's flex-cuffed hands and carefully cut the bindings. Without the pressure of the flex-cuffs holding them together, Reid's wrists were subject to gravity and fell limply against his sides. "Oh my gosh." Garcia whimpered, pointing to his wrists. Morgan glanced down and could barely suppress his disgust. A series of dark purple bruises, deep grooves, and angry red welts wove their way around each of Reid's wrists. It appeared that the injuries were partially due to the kid's efforts to free himself, but mostly because the too-tight bindings had been left on during the duration of his captivity.

 _I'm going to put this son of a bitch's head on a stick._ Morgan felt a sick sense of deja vu at his thoughts. The last time he'd thought something like that was when another psychotic freak had taken Reid hostage. _The kid can't seem to catch a break,_ he thought bitterly, _First Jackson, then Dowd, then the Fisher king and Hankel, then anthrax and getting shot, now this. Not to mention whatever it is he's been keeping from me these past three months. He and I are going to have a serious chat. He'll end up shoving his true emotions away, it's not healthy. I've got to show him that he can trust me. I thought he did. I wish I knew all those times he'd struggled, I would've been there for him._ "Excuse me sir." the brisk voice of a paramedic interrupted his musings. "Huh?" he stared blankly at her. "I need you to move so I can examine your colleague." "Right, sorry." Morgan scrambled away, allowing her access to his traumatized friend.

"What's his name?" she asked, pulling a flashlight out of her kit. "Reid, Dr. Spencer Reid." Morgan answered, swallowing hard. "Dr. Reid? Spencer? Can you hear me?" the paramedic asked, shining her flashlight into each of Reid's eyes. "He's unresponsive." Morgan watched as she replaced her flashlight with a stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff. "Blood pressure is 90 over 60, much lower than what we'd expect. There's the possibility that the patient might be suffering hypotension." She removed the blood pressure cuff from Reid's arm, and slipped the stethoscope underneath his shirt. Morgan's blood turned to ice as he watched her impassive expression turn to a frown.

"Patient's heart beat is highly elevated and the pulse is arrhythmic. Get the stretcher!" She yelled, not removing the stethoscope from Reid's heart. "What's going on?" Hotch demanded. "I don't know but we need to get him to a hospital." "Can one of us ride with him?" Rossi asked. "No! We need to go now! You'll only slow us down!" she snapped, as her colleagues grabbed the sides of the stretcher. The team watched helplessly as Reid was loaded into the back of the wailing ambulance. One of the paramedics glanced back at the team in pity, and said, "We're taking him to Mass General if you want to follow us." "Thank you." Hotch whispered. The paramedic nodded before climbing through the door. With a shrieking wail, the ambulance sped off.

"Let's go!" Hotch ordered, racing towards the team's SUV. "Turn on the lights," Rossi suggested. Four pairs of eyes glanced at him incredulously. "What?" he demanded. "Reid being rushed out in an ambulance with an arrhythmic heart beat qualifies as an emergency." "Can't argue with that logic." Hotch muttered, switching on the flashing lights the team used while in the field. What should have been a twenty minute commute was struck down to ten minutes as the majority of Boston traffic moved out of their way. Once situated in the parking lot of Mass General, the team leapt out to watch Reid being pulled into the ER.

"Excuse me?" one of the ER nurses asked, noting the obvious attachment between the patient who had just been brought in and the seven individuals in her lobby, "are any of you the emergency contact for one Spencer Reid?" A tall, hawk-like man stepped forward, "My name's Agent Aaron Hotchner. I'm Dr. Reid's supervisor and emergency contact." "Great," the nurse answered, "you can answer some questions for me then." A shadow darkened the man's features as he scowled, it was extremely apparent that he wanted to be the one asking questions. "The more we know, the better we will be able to treat your friend." she reassured him. "Fine," he muttered, "what do you want to know?"

She smiled at him before firing off questions in a rapid succession. "What was the cause of your friend's injury." "Dr. Reid was kidnapped on his way home from work. He had been held captive for almost twenty-four hours. His hands and feet were chained, and I'm pretty sure he was knocked unconscious by some synthetic agent. We aren't positive about the full extent of his injuries, but we do know he has been beaten at least twice. Once by fists and another time by a cane. He probably would've been beaten further if he hadn't found a way to escape." "Wow," she said softly, "he must be very brave." The hawk-like man gave her a slight smile, "We make a point to ensure all of our agents are prepared for situations like these, but yes Dr. Reid is extremely brave. He's one of the best agents I've ever seen. I'm very proud of him." "I can see why," she answered with a smile of her own, "can you tell me what happened after he escaped?"

The man frowned, "I'm not sure exactly. We had arrived at the Boston Field Office two hours before and were running in circles. Every possible lead had turned up empty, we were all so frustrated. The team was about to take a break for dinner when we saw him. He was just standing there." his voice trailed off. "What happened next?" the nurse prodded. Her informant glanced at her, "we were all in shock." he said softly, shame creeping into his voice. "We were prepared to find the worse. We hoped we wouldn't, but the odds were against us. And yet, there he was, standing in front of us. His hands were covering his face, almost as if the ceiling lights were irritating his eyes, and was swaying slightly. He looked as if a single gust of wind would knock him over. Agent Prentiss called his name. He looked like he was going to answer her, but then his eyes rolled up and he collapsed. Agent Morgan attempted to wake him, and then checked his pulse. It was so erratic, we were terrified. Morgan yelled for someone to call an ambulance, I was certain we were losing him."

"Why?" The nurse asked, "has something like this happened before?" Her companion flushed red with shame, "yes," he muttered. "What happened?" she noted his hesitation, "Agent Hotchner, all of this information is confidential and will only be used to help Dr. Reid." The man sighed, "Something similar to this happened four years ago. Dr. Reid was investigating a tip with another one of my agents. Little did we know that the tip they were following up would lead us to the unsub. Dr. Reid and his companion split up to head off the unsub and he was taken as a result. We were greeted with the sight of him bound and beaten almost ten hours later. The unsub had split personalities that took turns abusing him. In one of those instances the beating knocked Dr. Reid to the floor, causing him to convulse."

"Convulse? Was he alright?" the nurse asked sharply. Agent Hotchner nodded, "He was given CPR and checked out later that night. The Atlanta Hospital told us that the seizure did not cause any long term damage." "Is there anything else I should know about Dr. Reid?" "He was shot in the left knee about a year and a half ago, and if possible, please do not put him on any narcotics." The nurse opened her mouth to ask about why she should not give her patient narcotics, because he would surely need them, when she saw the ER doctor enter the lobby. "Family of Dr. Spencer Reid?" he asked.

 **-Please Read and Review! You know how I love your comments!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. I just wish I did. This story is solely for my and others' enjoyment.**

 **Please read and review! You know I love your comments!**

 **-** Chapter 15:

"Yes?" Hotch demanded, racing towards the doctor, Morgan not far behind him. "Are you Dr. Reid's family?" the man asked nervously, visibly shrinking away from Morgan's glare. "No," Morgan hissed, "we're his co-workers and his friends. We're the closest thing he has to a family and we're all approved to hear whatever it is you're about to say." "V-ve-very well." the man stammered. "Nice work Morgan, you made him wet himself." Prentiss whispered. Hotch silently groaned, _We need this man to tell us what's going on, Morgan. Don't antagonize him._ "Please, tell us what you know." he said, addressing the ER doctor.

The man glared at Morgan before resuming the task he'd been sent to accomplish. "Through our examination, we have been able to determine almost all of the ailments Dr. Reid is currently suffering from. Before I begin, I must ask, were any of you aware that your colleague has been suffering from a series of intense migraines for the past four months?" Hotch glanced around, based on the looks of shock on each of his team members' features, it was evident that they were as surprised as he was by this revelation. "No," he answered, "we were not aware."

The doctor nodded, "well, based on the PET scan Dr. Reid just underwent, we were able to determine that he suffers from cluster headache syndrome. Cluster headache syndrome is a hereditary disease that normally starts affecting patients around their early thirties. There is no exact cause, but it has been noted that males would be more susceptible to females. But that doesn't make them any less potent. The episodes can last for hours, days, or even months on end; causing the patient to have an extreme sensitivity to both light and sound. Each time Dr. Reid had one, he would have only thirty minutes before being the victim of one of the most severe migraines possible. The pain would be excruciating. Luckily, there are ways to treat it. Acute attacks should be resolved by an increase of oxygen, while a nasal spray can be used to prevent future occurrences."

"Thank you for telling us about this." Hotch said. _There is going to be some serious hell to pay when I get my hands on Reid. How could he not tell any of us about something like this? What if something had happened while we were in the field?_ "What can you tell us about the injuries is sustained while in captivity?" "Yes," the doctor answered, glancing at his clipboard. "We found that Dr. Reid was suffering from an extreme case of dehydration causing: the dizziness, fatigue, low blood pressure, and erratic heart beat. Luckily it wasn't to a point that we couldn't treat it, if he hadn't escaped when he had, he might have gone into a coma. We have him on an IV to replace the fluids and electrolytes he lost while in captivity. His heart beat is back to its normal resting rate and rhythm, and his blood pressure is within normal boundaries. A CT scan determined that he has a slight concussion, but that should be taken care of while he is under our care. Full-body X-rays and MRIs determined no soft tissue damage, except for bruising, and cracks along the third, fifth, sixth, and eighth ribs on the left side of his rib cage. Despite everything he's been through, he will make a full recovery. He's lucky."

"I wouldn't call him lucky." Morgan muttered. "Can we see him?" Hotch asked, sending Morgan a dirty look. "Yes, he's sleeping right now, but you can be in the room. Please, follow me." The team trailed silently up four flights of stairs, coming to a stop at a hallway titled 'ER In-patients'. "Please be as quiet as possible," their guide urged, "some of the patients are sleeping. He gently pushed the door open and lead them down the hallway; stopping at door number seven. Hotch peered in and could not suppress a sigh of relief; Reid was fast asleep, he was safe.

"Come on everyone. It will be good to be here when he wakes up." Morgan burst into the room, followed closely by Garcia and JJ, then Rossi and Seaver, but Emily hung back. "He won't want to see me," she said hoarsely, "not after what I put him through." "There's only one way to find out." Hotch said, ushering her through the door. Morgan and JJ had commandeered the chairs on either side of Reid, leaving the rest of the team to stand. An EKG above Reid's bed monitored his heart rate with a steady beep, and the team could hear their genius snore softly. "He looks so peaceful asleep." Garcia murmured. "Might have something to do with the fact he speaks a mile a minute," Morgan quipped, "I've only seen the kid in fast-forward and play, never pause."

JJ opened her mouth to scold Morgan when they all registered the sudden increase in Reid's heart rate. The steady beep..beep..beep from before had been replaced by beep,beep,beep,beep,beep. "What's going on?" Morgan demanded. "I don't know." Hotch answered, pressing the room's distress button. "The EKG!" Seaver said, pointing to the screen, "it's triggering a flashback. He must still think he's with Doyle." No sooner had she made that statement, that the team noticed Reid pulling at the electrodes taped over his heart. "Get them off!" JJ snapped, hating that she was helpless against the cause of Reid's discomfort. "We can't!" Rossi snapped back, "the doctors wanted to continue monitoring his heart to make sure it remained stable." "Hotch, do something." Prentiss pleaded. Hotch's thumb repeatedly depressed the call button until a doctor came running into the room. "What is going on?" she demanded. "The beeping of the EKG is causing our friend's emotional distress. He just escaped captivity, and they had him hooked up to a heart monitor. Do something!" Hotch's professional demeanor broke as he watched his subordinate struggle against demons only he could see. "Stand back." the doctor ordered, inserting a sedative-filled syringe into Reid's IV. "Mmm," Reid groaned before drifting into a heavy sleep, the team watching him anxiously.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi everyone! Thanks for reading and reviewing Family Always! Quick PSA: I currently have a poll listed in my profile about what the topic of my next story should be after I finish this one. I'll be closing the poll at Midnight next Friday, so please take the time to vote. Only one chapter for tonight, but I promise at least six will be published by the conclusion of the weekend.**

 **To BJames: Thank you for the kind words! I felt there needed to be some stronger connection in order to rationalize Doyle taking Reid. As to whether or not he tells her, you'll just have to see. Be prepared for a major plot twist!**

 **To kbf: You're on the right path ;). Here's a hint, you've met her. You're gonna have to wait until Chapter 17 for the explanation of Reid and Prentiss' relation.**

 **To Tannerrose: Right you are, but that's why we love him. No drug dependency will form, the doctor would have used baclofen, which is an anti-anxiety medication. Luckily the medical background I have allowed me to write in a reaction and solution without using narcotics.**

 **To ahowell1993: Yea, it bugged me that CBS never explained what his ailment was. I was just looking for one that would be plausible given his symptoms and age.**

 **To everyone else: Keep reading and keep reviewing. Y'all inspire me to keep writing. -xoxo Elisa.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own criminal minds or its characters, but what fun that would be. This is solely for my and others' pleasure.**

Chapter 16:

"How is he?" Reid woke to the voice of Doyle's partner outside his door. _I thought I escaped. I saw the FBI building. Please, please let this nightmare end._ He kept his eyes shut, using his fingers to assess his surroundings. Gone were the heavy iron chains, leaving nothing to restrict his movement. A thick wool blanket was pulled up to his waist and the ambient temperature of the room was at least twenty degrees warmer than the cell he'd been left in. He would have been relieved if not for the familiar pressure against his heart. _I'm still there._ Beep,beep,beep,beep,beep an alarm pinged in time with his racing heart. Fear paralyzed him, fueling his irrational belief that he was still in Doyle's clutches.

"Shhh." a familiar voice said, "it's alright Spencer. You're in a hospital, you're not there anymore." A soft hand squeezed his reassuringly, anchoring him to reality. Reid's eyes flickered open to see Seaver watching him, a weary smile on her face. "Hey," she said softly, "I haven't seen those big brown eyes for a few days. It's good to see you safe Spence." _Except I'm not, not if one of Doyle's partners is outside my door._ As his eyes bored into hers, Reid was translated from his hospital bed into one of the millions of memories his eidetic memory stored.

~1.5 Months Ago~

 _From Miller, Jackson:_

 _To: BCC_

 _BCC: Reid, Spencer; Seaver, Ashley_

 _Subject: This Week's Meeting_

 _Hello everyone. Sorry for the inconvenience, but we'll need to cancel this week's meeting._ _Three-quarters of the members will be out of the state for the National Federal Enforcement Expo. Please enjoy your week off safely and responsibly!_

 _Best,_

 _Jack_

" _Hey Reid, did you get Jack's email?" Seaver asked. Spencer glanced up from his book. "Speak a little louder why don't you?" he hissed, "I don't think the pilot heard you!" Seaver glanced around anxiously before taking the seat across from him. "Well, did you?" "Yes," he answered in a bored tone, "and your point is?" "What are you going to do with your night off?" "Read, watch Star Trek, read some more." Ashley rolled her eyes in exasperation, "you always do that!" she whined. "Don't you want to be spontaneous, just once?" He arched an eyebrow, "what did you have in mind?"_

 _It was because of that one innocent question that he'd found himself outside Ashley's apartment two hours after they'd landed. Rap, rap. Seaver opened the door before he could knock a third time. "Ready?" she asked, after locking her door. Spencer nodded slightly, not trusting himself to speak. He'd always thought Ashley was pretty, but her work clothes had never done her justice. The deep sapphire blue of her skater dress brought out the deep blue of her eyes and her hair had been curled into soft, beachy waves. She wore no makeup, except for mascara and a light coat of lip gloss. A Monet to his Van Gogh. Spencer glanced down at his faded jeans and 'Beach Boys' t-shirt, he'd definitely underdressed._

" _So," he said, finally finding his voice, "what mayhem have you suckered me into tonight?" Seaver laughed, looping her arm through his. "No mayhem," she promised, "just some drinks and an innocent game of bowling." "Alright, but I'm warning you, I am the bowling pro." He teased. "I'm gonna make you eat your words Spence!" she promised, leading him towards the Depot Street Bowling Alley._

 _After two hours of bowling and countless drinks, the score was Reid: 6, Seaver: 0. "You could have told me you were a bowling prodigy." Ashley whined, watching Spencer roll another strike. "It's really not that hard," he assured her, "You just need to remember Force equals mass times acceleration, and factor in torque and air resistance." Noting the blank look on Ashley's face, he added, "Here, let me help you." Reid walked behind Seaver and gently put a hand on her waist. He felt his cheeks warm as Ashley stiffened slightly at his touch before relaxing. Taking the fact that she hadn't punched him for touching her as a good sign, he used his other hand to control her dominant arm; pulling it back to the correct angle and then pushing it forward to release the ball. Clang, all twelve pins fell as the ball collided with them._

" _Yay!" Seaver cheered. "I told you!" Spencer said, wrapping his arms around her. Seaver glanced up at him for a heartbeat before pulling his lips down to hers. Reid kissed her back and then pulled her out the doorway. What should have been a ten minute commute, back to his apartment, took double the time because they kept stopping to kiss. Click. Reid had barely unlocked the door before Seaver pushed him into his apartment. The 'Beach Boys' t-shirt he'd been worried about before was pulled over his head, and Ashley had started applying light kisses along his collarbone. Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump. His heart was pounding so hard, that he wondered if she could hear it, and his mind went blank as they fell onto his bed. "I've wanted to do this since the day I met you." Ashley admitted as his hands traced their way down her spine. "Why?" Spencer asked, unaccustomed to beautiful girls telling him things like this. "You're gorgeous, you're smart, you're compassionate. You make me feel safe." she murmured, kissing him after each statement. Reid looked at her, waiting for permission to continue, only to find that their night of drinking had caught up with her. With a rueful smile, he lightly kissed her forehead and went to the couch._

 _The following morning he'd woken to a pounding headache and horror over the night's events. Not only was there the FBI rule about supervisors not fraternizing with subordinates, but he had also kissed her while she was drunk. They would both get in so much trouble if anyone found out, even more if they let things pick up where they'd left off. After a shower and coffee, he'd sobered up enough to realize the despicable thing he was about to do; what he had to do. He needed to convince her that the previous night had occurred because they were both drunk, that he didn't feel the same way about her, that it would be best if they didn't hang out outside of work._

 _He hadn't even had time to mentally prepare himself when Ashley had walked out of his bedroom. She wore the dress she'd had on the previous night and a confused expression. Spencer cut her off before she could say anything, "Nothing happened. You were just really drunk and passed out; after telling me a few things." He watched her flush bright red and then eye him with a hopeful expression. "Before you say anything, I just want you to know that last night was a one time deal." "But you kissed me back." she said, confused. Reid shoved his emotion away and said coldly, "We were both drunk. It wasn't because I like you, it was because my inhibitions were lowered. I'm sorry if it seems like I've led you on, but there is and never will be anything between us. I think it might be best if you stopped going to the Beltway Clean Cops meetings with me and we only saw each other on a professional level." "But you brought me to those meetings to help me." she said, tears filling her eyes. "You'll find another support group," he said dismissively, "Beltway is normally for addicts only. I'm going to head to work. Be sure to lock up when you leave."_

Reid sighed, it had taken all of his willpower to walk through that door. He had desperately wanted to tell her he didn't mean what he'd said and that things would be okay, but the potential consequences had frightened him. It had been weeks before Ashley could even bear to be in the same room as him, and another month before she could speak to him in a civil manner. It had killed him, knowing how badly he'd hurt her, but it had been necessary. Just like now. He'd have to do more than break her heart this time. He'd have to convince her, and then the team how much he utterly despised them. To weave a lie so thick, that none of them would ever want to speak to him again. It would break him, but he would gladly be broken if it ensured his family's safety. He only hoped he'd be able to live with the consequences of his actions.

 **-Please Read and Review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello Everyone! Quick PSA: I am moving up the deadline for the poll to Tuesday at midnight. It looks like Family Always will be finished by the end of this week, and I want at least the first chapter of the new story posted by the time I finish. So please, please take the time to complete it!**

 **To Hippiechic81: It's a different Jack, not Hotch's son.**

 **To Guest: Bam, bam, baaaam**

 **To tannerrose5: He's got a one-track mind. I'd like to see it as him trying to misdirect Doyle's focus by convincing him that the team isn't the tight knit family he thinks they are. Trust me, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.**

 **To ahowell1993: I'd like to think they would too. Dave would def kick Spencer's ass if he hurt Ashley though!**

 **To everyone else: keep on reading and reviewing! Hope y'all are loving reading this as much as I'm loving writing it!**

 **-Xoxo Elisa**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is only for my and others' amusement.**

Chapter 17:

"So you're alive." He said coldly. "None of you thought that it might have been necessary to start looking for me as soon as I was taken? Or am I expendable? Trade in one genius for another?" "What?" Seaver asked, "no, no that wasn't it at all! We were in the hospital: Hotch got shot, Emily was beaten to unconsciousness, and the rest of us barely got out of the building before it exploded." _You all came that close to death?_ He flinched at the thought, unable to keep his emotions from betraying the unfeeling facade he had developed.

He had been so relieved that Doyle had lied to him, but it terrified him how slim the line between the lie and the truth had been. Seaver's eyes were filled with a silent pleading as she whispered, "It was fourteen hours before the doctors would release all of us. We got on a plane as soon as we could. We were all terrified that we would be too late." "Who's we?" he hissed. "The team, JJ, me." "Really?" Reid snorted derisively, "Your skills as a profiler must be sorely lacking if you thought for a second that the team or JJ would be worried about me." "You don't mean that." Seaver murmured.

 _Time to hammer the nail on the 'get Ashley to hate me' coffin._ "Exactly why are you here?" he demanded. She flinched but did not relinquish her grip on his hand. "I needed to see that you were safe." she whispered, "I don't know what I would have done if you weren't." _Damn,_ he thought, _she isn't making this easy._ With as much venom as he could muster he hissed, "How many times do I need to tell you that I am not interested! Are you really that desperate for someone to love you?"

He barely prevented his flinch at the way she jerked away from him, almost as if she'd been slapped. _Please forgive me for what I'm about to do,_ he silently pleaded. "What? Is it because mommy and daddy never loved you that you throw yourself at anyone who's civil to you? Because that's truly pathetic. But you knew that already. Deep, deep down you know that no one will ever love you, not once they learn about your past. About how daddy killed all those women because they reminded him how a woman produced his deepest regret, you." _That should do it!_ He thought, remorse eating away at his soul, _I surpassed the point of no return._

He figured that his words would send Ashley flying out the door, instead she had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulling his face to within an inch of hers. "I don't know what it is you think you need to do," she hissed, "but I do know this is not you. You're trying to cut all ties with us to protect us, but we can help you!" _Damn it Ashley. Why can't you just believe me?_ "You're wrong. About me, about the team, about everything. I have never been a part of this team and I never will. And for that, I am so so relieved. At least I can go home each night knowing that I am not some narcissistic, egomaniacal asshole with a chip on their shoulder. At least I don't believe that I am better than everyone else or that I need to catch killers to wash away my own memories. So you can not believe me, but every word I've spoken is true. I've always kept my true self hidden, but now I no longer need to. So I think now would be a good time for you to leave. If I'm lucky, I'll never have to see you again." He fell back onto his pillow, face flushed and breathing ragged. The gravity of his words had exhausted him and he hoped they would be enough to get her to leave; to get her to hate him. The soft clang of the door told him he'd been successful, leaving him to wonder at what price.

"How is he? Ashley?" Rossi asked, as Seaver stepped outside. The entire team was huddled outside of Reid's room, anxiously awaiting news about their injured colleague. Seaver took a shaky breath before answering, "He's tired, he's anxious, and he can't forget. He's convinced that none of us care about him. Whoever goes in next needs a thick skin and the ability to walk on very thin ice!" The team seemed taken aback by her statement, _They think everything Reid said on camera was a lie. They think that he still cares about them, that he's still family. I thought so too, but now I'm not so sure._

Her musings were interrupted by Hotch's quick assessment, "JJ and Prentiss should be the ones to go in." "What?" Prentiss and Morgan asked. "Why can't I go in?" Morgan whined right as Prentiss muttered, "I thought Seaver just said we were on thin ice with Reid! I'm pretty sure that me going in there will just further antagonize him!" Meeting her supervisor's eyes she whispered, "why would he want to talk to someone who's caused him so much pain?" Hotch's eyes glinted with sympathy. "It wasn't your fault Emily." he said softly. Turning to Morgan he said, "First off, Reid needs someone to explain to him what the hell is going on. Prentiss was under with Doyle for almost three years, therefore she's best suited to do the debriefing. We need to know what Doyle's planning, and there's a good chance he might have let something slip in front of Reid. As to why you can't go in Morgan, the last thing Reid needs right now is someone who is going to push him. Alpha male personalities fall under that category; you, me, and Dave are all alpha males, therefore none of us are going in. Seaver just pointed out how leery he is of the team right now, so she and Garcia are both out. And I doubt it would be a good idea for Prentiss to go in on her own. JJ and Reid have been close so the minute he started at the BAU, he'd respond better to her than any of us. She's the only one he didn't say anything about during that first video, so chances are he'll respond better to her than anyone else. Any other arguments?"

He took the team's silence as acceptance before continuing, "alright, JJ and Emily, you two should go in while he's still conscious." Prentiss sighed in defeat, "alright, just let me know if Clyde and Psia come back. I need to further debrief them and determine what our next steps should be. C'mon JJ, let's go see Reid." The two women had barely crossed the door's threshold when a venomous voice said, "Get out!" "Spence?" JJ asked, her voice tinged with concern, "please don't shut us out. We're here to help you, but you need to let us."

A mixture of terror, concern, and guilt flashed across Reid's features, as he glanced at the woman he considered his closest friend, but it was quickly replaced by a dark scowl. "Right," he scoffed, "you're here to help me. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I don't need your help, Jennifer? I mean, why would I? You're not a profiler, you're not a genius, you're nothing more than a pretty face. You'd be a great help if I needed someone to bring to social galas, but that pretty face hasn't done me much otherwise. I mean, it didn't stop me from getting shot or from contracting Anthrax. And it certainly didn't help when Tobias Hankle took me. Where were you when that happened Jennifer?"

She flinched at his use of her given name,"Oh wait, that's right, you were battling that incredibly irrational little fear of yours. Who'd have guessed that a trained FBI agent would have such difficulty dealing with dogs? And then, and then to cap off exactly how pathetic you are, you show up as a blubbering mess to the site of my captivity. I never imagined that, after almost forty-eight hours of absolute hell, -where I was cuffed to a chair, beaten with a log, injected numerous times with Dilaudid, forced to choose who lived and who died, subjected to numerous rounds of Russian roulette, dead, resuscitated, forced to dig my own grave, and then kill my own attacker- I would be forced to be the consoler. Forced to give solace to the reason I was put through the worst experience of my life. The reason that I was left in the cold, dark clutches of Dilaudid for _four months,_ with absolutely no one to help me. Do you have any idea how difficult that was? Battling your own demons for so long and begging for the help you know will never come."

JJ opened her mouth to speak, but Reid cut her off, "No, of course you wouldn't. If you had, then maybe you would have tried to help _me._ But that's when I realized how grateful I should be that you didn't. Every time you've tried to 'help me', you've gotten me into even worse situations. I couldn't have been more relieved when you told me they were transferring you because it was only a matter of time before you got one of us killed." "That's not even close to fair Reid." Prentiss scolded, watching the tears stream down her friend's face. "All JJ has ever done is care about you. Not once has she ever tried to hurt you or put you in a situation where you would be hurt. It was _your_ idea to split up at Hankel's house, or did you forget that?" "Ha, like you would even know Emily." Reid said, turning his hateful words from JJ to her, "You're too busy hiding your own secrets to notice the world around you. Did it ever occur to you that I might not have been in this situation if you'd just been honest with us?"

"That's rich coming from you Spence!" Tears were still streaming down JJ's face, but there was now a fire in her eyes. She'd be damned if Reid succeeded in pushing her away. "You bitch about the fact that no one helped you, but did you ever think that maybe we were waiting for you to say something? To ask for help? Didn't you think we were terrified? I was convinced that I would walk into the office one day and there'd be a phone call saying you'd overdosed, that you were dead! Do you have any idea what that would have done to me?" her voice rose as she was unable to contain the wave of emotion pulsing through her. She hoped her distress would bring back the Spence she knew and loved, the Spence who would do anything to ensure she wasn't hurting. Instead his eyes darkened to blackness as he hissed, "You've just proven my point Jennifer. You're too weak to have ever been a decent FBI agent. Now why don't you run along home, and play that good little housewife role you're so good at."

"Jayje?" Prentiss pleaded, watching her friend storm out the door. Everyone had a point where they broke, and it appeared that Reid had found JJ's. "What the hell was that about?" she demanded, turning back to Reid. "What was what about?" he hissed. "You verbally abusing one of your best friends. Seriously Spencer, what the hell is wrong with you?" Reid's eyes glittered with dark amusement, "I grew weary of pretending to tolerate you all. It's so incredibly liberating when the truth finally comes out, don't you think Emily?" Prentiss shook her head in disbelief, "this isn't you." "And how exactly would you know who I am, huh? It wouldn't have anything to do with the secret you've been hiding for all these years."

"What secret Spencer?" she asked, dread washing down her body. _Where the hell is he going with this._ Reid's eyes flashed angrily, "like you didn't know. Do you think I'm stupid Emily? I heard what Doyle said, the only reason he took me was because he wanted you to know what it felt like to have your family taken from you. But I guess blood isn't thicker than water. If it had been, then you would've had the decency to tell me that I was your cousin!" Prentiss jerked back as if he'd slapped her. "Cousin?" she whispered hoarsely. Coal-black eyes glared at her. "Don't play dumb with me _Emily._ " Reid hissed, "I know you knew. I just can't believe how much of an idiot I was to ever believe you gave a damn about me." "Spencer." she pleaded, tears filling her eyes. "I think it would be best if you left." the venom was no longer present in Reid's voice, only exhausted anger. A sob threatened to escape from Emily as she turned to leave. "I'm so sorry Spencer." she whispered. She thought that Reid had not heard her, but a quiet voice asked, "who's Declan?" as she closed the door.

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	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Would I be evil if I said that the cold Spencer chapters have been my favorite to write? We just never see his temper on Criminal Minds.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This story is only for my and others' enjoyment. So please Enjoy!**

Chapter 18:

"Are you alright?" a soft voice asked, jarring JJ from her thoughts. She turned towards the figure standing behind her, expecting either Emily or Penelope not the trainee. _Oh look, I've been replaced with me._ JJ thought ruefully. Although the trainee was not a mirror image of her, there were too many similarities to ignore. How they were both petite, blond and blue-eyed. How the looked many years younger than the age listed on their birth certificates. How they looked but china, but were actually steel. "Yes," she sniffed, wiping her eyes. "You're Ashley, right? Emily and Pen have told me a lot about you." Seaver's eyes flashed with concern, "all good I hope," she said cautiously. JJ laughed, "Don't worry, the team doesn't have a mean bone in their body." Sighing she muttered, "at least I thought they didn't."

Ashley reached out and gripped her hand. "It was all work out," she reassured her, "Spence does this when he's scared. He doesn't mean anything by it. It's just a way for him to cope." JJ snorted in disbelief. "And how exactly would _you_ know?" she asked sarcastically. The younger woman's deep blue eyes met her own as she whispered, "because he's done it before." "What?" JJ asked. Seaver blushed, "there was this, um, this time where Spencer and I went out. We were just supposed to go as friends, but there was alcohol involved, and we were kissing. The next thing I knew, I woke up in his bed."

Seaver's narrative was cut off by JJ exclaiming, "Oh my gosh! You didn't sleep with him did you?" Ashley flushed a deep red, "What? No! Um, I was really drunk and I fell asleep on Spencer's bed. He took the couch. But that's, um that's not the point. The point is we were really close and he shoved me away because he was afraid about what might happen. He pretty much told me, after two months of us pouring our hearts out to each other, that he had absolutely no interest me. At first I was so heartbroken and angry, I figured he'd let me down gently, not break my heart into a thousand tiny pieces. It took me so long to be able to realize that he hadn't meant it, that he was trying to protect both of us from the consequences of our actions. I think that's what he's trying now, there's a part of him that is still convinced that he needs to protect us." Her eyes flickered up towards the woman, whom she had replaced in more ways than she could imagine.

JJ stared at the young woman standing in front of her. _Oh my goodness,_ she thought, _this is Ashley?_ Her mind flickered back to a month ago, the last time she and Spence had been able to meet for brunch. " _Spence!" she'd called, drawing him into a hug. His arms encircled her, holding her for longer than normal. Reid was never one for physical contact, and he usually found a way to quickly end their hugs. The only time he would tolerate them for so long was when he was upset. "Spence?" she asked, "are you alright?" He'd given her a shaky smile. "I really screwed up." he whispered softly. "Why don't you sit down and we can talk about it." she suggested. They sat in ten minutes before he spoke, "Do you remember me telling you about how I met this girl?" JJ nodded, "Yea, you said her name was Ashley, right? She goes to your meetings." Spencer gave a slight nod, "yup." "Okay, so what happened?" she asked, prodding him to open up to her. "This week's meeting got cancelled, so she suggested we go do something fun." He glanced up at his friend, hesitating. "Go on," JJ urged. "We ended up going to this bowling alley and I was ahead six games to none. Ashley was complaining about how I hadn't told her I was a bowling prodigy. I told her about how it was like physics, and then I demonstrated by guiding her next swing. The next thing I knew we were making out in my apartment and my shirt was off." "Oh my gosh! My little man's growing up!" JJ laughed, a teasing disbelief lighting up her eyes. "Please let me finish." he pleaded. JJ giggled before reassuring him, "okay, I'm done. Please continue. I want to hear details of your conquest!" Reid gave her a dirty look before muttering, "There was no conquest. We were both really drunk and fell asleep before anything could happen. I woke up the next morning and got really scared. I told her that I didn't have feelings for her and that I'd only kissed her because I was intoxicated. I broke her heart JJ, and it sucks because I really liked her. She made me feel like so much more than a genius, like I could be a hero to her if she gave me the chance." She covered his hands with her own, "it'll be alright," she promised._

"So you're Ashley!" she accused, her eyes blazing. "I'm sorry?" Seaver asked. "You're the Ashley Spence told me so much about!" JJ snapped, "do you have any idea what could have happened if you hadn't passed out when you did? How much trouble he would've gotten into? Because you had a schoolgirl crush you couldn't contain." The younger woman backed away, sensing how pissed off she was getting. JJ knew it was irrational to be so angry with Seaver, Reid had been the one who had ruined their relationship, but she wanted to make this girl hurt as badly as Spence had when she'd seen him.

"What else did he tell you?" Seaver asked quietly. "That you're pathetic," JJ hissed, "that you couldn't get over the fact that daddy was a murderer. That it was only a matter of time before you got him killed. He didn't take you to those meetings to help you, you know? He did it to make sure you didn't make another stupid mistake because you couldn't compartmentalize! He thought it was hilarious that you couldn't see that the only reason you were even accepted into the BAU for training was because Hotch and Rossi felt sorry for you. You're not a profiler, you'll probably end up quitting within the first month of your real assignment."

Guilt coursed through her as she watched the younger girl flinched. "Spencer told you all of this?" she asked hoarsely. "Yup, he would've told you himself, but he didn't want Rossi to get pissed at him." Tears were now streaming down Seaver's cheeks, "but you weren't," she noted. "Not when your stupidity could potentially hurt one of my friends." "Good to know." As she turned to leave, JJ was overcome with remorse for what she had just done. _Reid's gonna kill me when he finds out about this,_ she thought, _I really should apologize._ "Ashley?" she said softly, when the soft beep of her pager coursed through the room. The younger girl glared at her through red-rimmed eyes, "you should get that, it might be important." "Ashley," JJ pleaded, reaching for the trainee's hand. She flinched as Seaver jerked it out of her grasp. Deep blue eyes blazed with anger. "The only reason I came in here was because I know how much you mean to Spencer," she hissed, "and believe it or not, I really do give a damn about him!" Seaver brushed past her predecessor and opened the door. Turning back to the woman she had tried to comfort, she whispered, "I just didn't realize that would be such a crime."

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	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own criminal minds or its characters. This is only for my and others' enjoyment!**

Chapter 19:

Tears blurred Ashley's vision as she attempted to find an empty room. Finally, at the end of the corridor, was a small prayer room. Jerking the door open, her eyes scanned the room for other people. It was only once she was convinced that she was alone that she allowed herself to break down. The tears that had been threatening to spill, since she'd first learned Spencer had been taken, ran unchecked down her cheeks. Her shoulders were rocked by the deep, gasping sobs escaping her body. She had only cried this hard three times in her life: the day she realized that her dad was a mass murderer, the night of her first case, and that morning at Spencer's. _Is this what it feels like to have your heart shattered past the point of healing?_

"Ashley?" A nail-bitten hand slipped into hers. "Ashley, can you hear me?" Emily asked. Seaver glanced up into the worried eyes of her training officer. "I'm fine." she mumbled. "You're obviously not." Prentiss stated, gripping her hand tighter. "Why are you here Emily?" Ashley asked, trying to deflect the conversation away from herself, "I thought you would be debriefing your Interpol friends." She was rewarded by a light flush coloring Prentiss' cheeks. "I needed to figure out some things before I could talk to them." she muttered. "What sort of things?" Ashley's curiosity got the better of her, "sorry that was rude." Emily laughed, "That's alright. I'll make you a deal. You tell me what's bothering you, and I'll tell you what's bothering me."

Seaver sighed, it was obvious that Prentiss was not going to let this slide, she might as well play along. "The confrontations I had with Reid and JJ, as well as the stress of everything that's happened in the past three days, just pushed me a little too far. I'm sorry to have scared you." Prentiss squeezed her hand "Don't worry about me," she assured her, "we've all been through a lot, it would be surprising if you hadn't broken down." Ashley gave her a weak smile, "Thanks Emily." Prentiss smiled back at her before once again turning serious, "do you want to tell me about what Reid and JJ said to you?"

"It really wasn't that bad!" Ashley stammered unconvincingly. "Obviously it was if you won't talk about it." "Um, Spence just made a comment about how pathetic it was that I liked him. He, he told me that no one would ever love me once they found out about my dad. And Agent Jareau mentioned that he had told her I was going to get you all killed." Her eyes flickered over to her superior, and she was astounded to see the look of grim satisfaction on Emily's face. "So he has been lying." Emily muttered. "What?" Ashley asked. "Reid, he's been lying, at least to you." "How can you be sure?" Seaver questioned. Prentiss gave her a wry smile, "anyone with eyes can see how much Reid cares about you. At least anyone who takes the time to look. I can't believe how we all missed it. He was so down after JJ left, but when you came along he was happy. I've never seen him bond with someone so quickly. Why else would he have brought you along with him to that meeting or told you so much about his experiences? He never told any of us. Trust me Ashley, Spencer does care about you, even if he's trying to convince everyone otherwise. As for JJ, the only guess I would have is that she was being overprotective." "Overprotective?" Seaver squeaked. Emily nodded, "Yeah, she and Spencer have been incredibly close since his first day at the BAU. JJ's the sister he's never had, and she's terrified that someone's going to hurt him." "Okay," Ashley murmured, "that made me feel a bit better, but what about you?"

Prentiss sighed, "Reid dropped a bomb I never saw coming." "What was it?" Seaver asked. "He told me that Doyle had told him the reason he took him. It wasn't because he was my co worker or because of how close friends we were; it was because he's my first cousin. At least according to Doyle he is. I've spent the past half hour deliberating between whether or not to call my mother, to ask her." "Why not ask the hospital to run a DNA test?" Ashley asked. "I did, it'll be another hour before the results come back. I need to know now." Seaver squeezed Emily's hand and said, "then you need to call her." "Okay, just stay in the room, please?"

With a heavy heart, Emily dialed the number to her mother's office. "Ambassador Prentiss' office." a perky voice answered. "Hello, I need to speak with Elizabeth." "Ambassador Prentiss is in a meeting," the voice said snarkily, "can I take a message?" Prentiss took a deep breath before responding, "this is her daughter. I will give you fifteen seconds to put my mother on the phone." Almost immediately the secretary's voice was replaced with her mother's irate one. "Emily? You have better have a good reason for dragging me out of my meeting." "That depends _mother_ ," she put as much venom as she could into the word, "would you like to explain to me why you told me I didn't have any cousins?" "What? How did you find out about Spencer? Who told you?" the anxiety in her mother's voice confirmed Prentiss' fears, Reid was her cousin. "That doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm hearing about it now!"

"Don't be ridiculous Emily!" her mother scolded, "I did you favor by not telling you, just like I did by never telling you about your biological father." "What?" Emily yelled, "What do you mean you never told me about my biological father? Kenneth Jamerson is my father. He was in the house for ten years before you divorced him!" "Kenneth Jamerson was the man I married to ensure you never found out about your father. About the greatest mistake of my life. Words cannot describe how much of an idiot I must have been to marry Daniel Redding." _Redding, Redding was Reid's mom's maiden name. And he had an uncle named Daniel._ "Where is my father?" she asked. "In hell probably, serves him right for taking his own life, leaving me to raise our daughter on our own." "He took his own life?" Emily whispered. "Don't feel pain for a man you never met." her mother snarled. "He couldn't handle having the genes for schizophrenia, like that psychotic sister of his. He didn't want to wake up one day and not know who he was. He'd grown up watching that happen to his sister, he didn't want that to happen to him." "And how exactly would you know this?" Prentiss demanded. "Because he left me a letter. He told me under no circumstances were you to ever come into contact with that woman or any child she might have. Like I would have ever let you."

"Right mother, like you would ever want to do anything that might make it seem like you have a soul. How ironic it must be for you to learn that the woman's son is one of my colleagues and closest friends." "What?" her mother demanded. "Spencer, my cousin. I know him as SSA Dr. Reid, a member of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit. And his mother, is one of the sweetest women I have ever met. If only she could have raised me, that way it would have been guaranteed that I didn't end up an unfeeling bitch like you!" "Emily!" "Goodbye mother." Prentiss savagely disconnected the call, glad to be able to finally finish a conversation on her own terms. "Emily?" Seaver asked, concern etched over her features. Prentiss gave a weak smile. "C'mon!" she said, "we need to plan our next step."

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	20. Chapter 20

**Hello friends! Quick PSA: Anyone who wants to take my poll needs to do so by midnight tonight! I'm also going to be posting chapters as soon as I finish writing, instead of two/three at a time. 'Family Always' should be finished by either Thursday or Friday of this week! Can't wait to hear what you think of the ending!**

 **To Hippiechic81: More twists and turns coming up!**

 **To Tannerrose5: I've never been a fan of Ambassador Prentiss. I always wanted the writers of Criminal Minds to have a scene where Emily completely shuts her down. As for JJ, she's so overprotective of Spence that she can have a bit of a one-track mind. Don't worry, she'll get a chance to make things right.**

 **To hairbrain1947: Hopefully she puts that rage towards hunting Doyle down!**

 **To ahowell1993: I wouldn't count on it. She'd be more likely to disown Emily.**

 **To everyone else: Keep on reading and reviewing! Hope you're loving the story.**

 **-XoXo Elisa**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This story is solely for my and others' amusement!**

Chapter 20:

"Emily!" Psia's voice echoed down the thin hallway. "We've been looking all over for you! Did you learn anything about why Ian took your colleague or what he's planning." Prentiss nodded, "Yes, I actually learned a lot. I just want everyone to be here so I don't have to repeat myself." "Your teammates are still in front of Dr. Reid's room. They were quite worried about you." Easter added, his sharp gaze looking for a reaction. "Clyde." Emily muttered before strolling off to Reid's room. "Where's Jayje?" she asked Hotch; the entire team was still camped outside Reid's room, but her blonde friend was nowhere to be seen. "She got called away." Hotch answered, "some emergency at the state department."

"Guess we'll just have to fill her in later." Emily's dark eyes swept across the room, everyone was staring at her, waiting for her to disclose what she'd learned. "Um, first off. I learned why Doyle chose to target Reid instead of anyone else on the team. Apparently Spencer and I are first cousins. His mom's older brother was my mom's first husband." "What?" Morgan yelled. "Derek shut up!" Hotch ordered, "you can ask questions after Prentiss finishes. Go on Emily." Prentiss sighed, "As I was saying," with a pointed glare at Morgan, "Reid is my first cousin. Apparently my dad committed suicide when I was younger because he had learned he was also going to inherit schizophrenia. He couldn't handle the idea that he was going crazy, like his sister had, so he killed himself. He left my mother a note, telling her what he'd done and that she should cut all ties with Reid's mom. That she should never let me meet any cousin I might have. Like being near Diana would suddenly make me crazy. I think the worst part of it was that my mother kept tags on them, so she knew what Spencer struggled through and still did nothing. I'll never forgive her for that."

"Poor boy wonder," Garcia murmured, "poor you. You never knew?" "Not until Reid accused me of never telling him that we were related. I would've liked a cousin growing up." she said softly, "but that's not the point! The point is that Doyle is trying to get back at me for something he thought I did over five years ago." "Which was?" Rossi prodded. "The murder of his son." "Wait, hold up a second." Easter looked at her in confusion, "I thought that you didn't know who murdered the boy and his nanny. Hell, we didn't even know there was a boy until your case report. Emily, please tell me you did not murder an Irish weapons trader's five-year-old son."

"Of course I didn't!" Prentiss snapped, "I just made it look like someone had. I needed to get Declan away from his father, so I faked his murder. And don't look so scandalized Clyde! You and I both know that boy would've been used as a pawn against his father! I did what I needed to in order to make sure he would live a safe, happy, healthy life." "Where is he now?" Psia asked, "did you bring Declan to the states?" Emily nodded, "Yeah, it was the best way to keep him safe. I had a friend of mine take him in." "Is there a chance that anyone knows his true identity?" Hotch's impassive mask slipped slightly at the mention of an innocent child. "Yes." Emily answered, "if Doyle mentioned Declan there's a good chance that he knows about my ruse."

"Then he's our next step. You, Psia, and I need to go find him and get him to safely." Clyde argued, Psia nodding vehemently behind him. Prentiss opened her mouth to answer only to be cut off by Morgan. "Hold up one second. What makes you think that you three are the only ones allowed to try to stop Doyle? Doyle blew up our office. He took our friend. If anything, you should be the ones to take a backseat. This is FBI jurisdiction, not Interpol or CIA or what other agency you work for." Psia glared at him, "Clyde, Emily, and I chased him for five years. He murdered my fiancee. If you think for one second that we're going to just sit back and let a bunch of wannabe profilers go after him, then you're an even bigger idiot than you appear to be!" "Enough!" Hotch cut in before Morgan could retort. "There is absolutely no reason why we cannot work together. Like it or not we need each other if we are going to have even the slightest chance of catching Doyle. Reid's doctor just told me that he can leave in an hour, so we need to determine how we're going to protect both him and Declan."

"What makes you think that Reid would still be a target?" Easter asked. "He's my cousin, that'll be more than enough incentive for Ian." Prentiss replied. "I agree with Hotch. We're going to need everyone's skill set for this, so shake hands." The team reluctantly shook hands with the two spies. "Good," Prentiss said. "Now, we can decide what to do next. Boston is Doyle's main base of operations, so we'll need a group to stay here. We need to cut off any and all external assistance he may receive. The other group will travel back down to Virginia to protect Declan." "What about Reid?" Hotch asked, "which group should he be in?" Prentiss deliberated for a minute before answering. "Declan will be Doyle's primary focus, but he'll want to finish what he started with Reid. Since Declan is in Virginia, Reid should stay in Boston. He won't be completely out of the line of fire, but he should be far enough away from Doyle." Hotch nodded, "Okay, in that case why don't you, Dave, Easter, and I take the jet to Virginia? Morgan, Seaver, Garcia, and Psia can stay with Reid. Does that work for everyone?" "Where will we stay?" Psia asked, "Doyle will surely have men stationed in Boston. They'll be searching all of the hotel guest lists for mention of Emily's known associates." "I have a house in Cambridge," Rossi offered, "you all could stay there." "It's settled then." Hotch said, turning towards Reid's room, Morgan following him. "What are they doing?" Psia asked. "Attempting to get Reid to see the rationale behind what we're about to do." Rossi answered, "but I doubt they'll be able to."

Morgan thought he'd be prepared for the palpable anger Seaver and Prentiss had told him about; he'd thought wrong. The kid's soft, doe-like eyes were black with anger and narrowed into slits. "Finally decided to visit me did you?" "Kid." Morgan said softly, sinking into the chair next to his bed. "We did everything we could to find you. You've got to believe me." The dark eyes met his, "Did you though?" Reid muttered, "did you really do everything in your power to prevent the pain? I mean, you knew about Emily all of these years and you never said anything to me." Morgan's dark cheeks flushed red. "It wasn't my place to tell kid." he said. "Maybe," Reid said softly, "but it would have prevented me from suffering so much damage."

"What's done is done Reid." Hotch said, breaking his silence, "It's how you move on that matters." The hateful glare shifted towards the unit chief, "nice to hear your voice Hotch. Let me ask you something, would a dalmatian have been able to escape abduction so easily? Or would the dalmatian have been so traumatized by being brutally beaten by a man trying to play God that a husky would need to take the beating in the dalmatian's place? Hypothetically of course."

To Hotch's credit, his impassive mask was not affected by the younger man's accusation, but shame burned through him at the words. "Reid, you need to know why I did what I did." Spencer scoffed, "no, I don't really believe I do." Hotch and Morgan watched as their favorite genius reached into his satchel, pulled out his badge, and flung it at Hotch. "I do believe you told me if I ever pulled a stunt like Texas again you would fire me. Since this qualifies, I'll save you the trouble. I'm done." Hotch stared at the badge for a minute before responding, "I don't accept." Anger flashed through his subordinate's eyes. "I didn't ask you to." "So you're just going to thrown in the towel?" Morgan asked incredulously, "Gonna abandon us like Gideon and Elle?" "I can't be on a team I don't trust." Reid retorted.

"We'll discuss this later!" Hotch snapped, "Right now we need to get you to the safe house." The man in the bed crossed his arms and glared up at him. "No, what I need is to get on the next flight to Virginia." Both Hotch and Morgan gaped at him, they'd figured Reid would be reluctant but they hadn't planned on him flat-out refusing. "Reid," Hotch said quietly, "Doyle knows that there's a blood connection between you and Prentiss. He'll keep coming after you until either you or he is dead!" "Great, I'm happy for him." Neither profiler could place the bored indifference in their colleague's voice. "It's not up for debate kid." Morgan snapped. "Actually it is," Reid retorted, "and considering that I am no longer a Bureau employee, I do not need to follow you or Hotch's direction." "Maybe not," Hotch said, pulling out his handcuffs, "but we can and we will take you into protective custody." "You wouldn't dare," Reid hissed, "especially after what I went through. You wouldn't risk losing the tiny shred of respect I still have for you." Morgan grabbed the cuffs from his boss and gently placed them around his friend's wrists. "I never thought I'd say this Reid. But I'd rather have you alive and hating me, than dead and still my friend." Hotch sighed, _hopefully Reid will understand when this is over._ "Grab a wheelchair and let's go," he told his subordinate.

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	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This story is just for fun!**

Chapter 21:

"What's with the jacket." Rossi murmured as he followed Morgan out the hospital door. "Reid was unwilling to come with us, so Morgan gave a new meaning to the term 'protective custody'." Rossi whistled, "how'd the kid take that?" "Not well," Hotch replied, "he all but handed me a printed copy of his resignation. Said he couldn't work with people he couldn't trust." "Guess we can't argue with that logic." Rossi said glumly. Hotch's dark eyes met his, "we won't lose him without a fight."

Ding! The elevator doors opened to the hospital lobby, and the two men exited to a different scene than they had expected. Prentiss, Seaver, and Psia had gone ahead to get the cars; leaving Morgan, Garcia, and Prentiss' former colleague Clyde to watch over Reid. However, they'd all forgotten the means through which Reid had been able to escape. By using his jacket to hide Reid's cuffed hands, Morgan had enabled Reid a means towards picking the locks without drawing attention. After he had done so, it had just been a matter of waiting for the perfect opportunity to slip away. Wailing ambulances, bringing the victims of a multi-car pile-up into the waiting ER, had provided the perfect cover. As his colleagues were distracted by the vehicle-induced carnage, Reid had slipped away.

"Where's Reid?" Hotch demanded, glaring at the agents before him. They all had the decency to look ashamed,save for Morgan who looked like hell was about to freeze over. "Don't look at me!" Seaver and Prentiss both exclaimed, "we went to get the cars!" Morgan sighed, "It's my fault, Hotch. There were multiple victims coming into the ER. We all went over to help. We didn't think that Reid would be able to get away without one of us knowing. I had no idea the kid could pick handcuffs that quickly." "No shit he'd be able to pick them quickly. He's worked on magic tricks since he was a kid, Morgan!" Prentiss snapped, her anxiety over anything happening to Reid had only heightened since she'd learned about their relationship.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Rossi quickly situated himself between the two highly irritated agents, "the blame game will do absolutely nothing for us. Reid can't have gotten too far, and even if he has, we need to explore all options. We cannot let everything go to shit because that will make it so much easier for Doyle to pick us off. We owe it to Reid to find him before Doyle does!" Hotch nodded. "Dave's right," he said, "we need to not act like chickens with their heads cut off. Okay Seaver, you and Penelope take the train station. Psia take the bus station and Morgan take the subway system. Prentiss, Clyde, and I will take the airport. Everyone keep your cell phones on and off vibrate; you need to be reachable at all times. If anyone finds Reid, do whatever it takes to get him back safely." They split off towards their respective assignments, all hoping that they would be the one to find Reid and that he hadn't gotten himself into even more trouble.

 _This is an incredibly stupid idea_. Reid thought ruefully as he covered himself with a blanket. As soon as the others' attention had been diverted, he'd trailed the French intelligence officer as she went to her car. Once she'd unlocked the front door, he'd made short work of the lock for the cargo space and climbed in. Definitely one of the most reckless things he'd ever done, but it would be worth it if she was who he thought she was. He wasn't positive, but he was highly certain that the woman who'd asked, " _How is he?"_ was the same woman driving the car. Was the same woman he'd heard talking to Doyle. The reason he'd tried so hard to sever ties with the only true family he'd ever had. Doyle had taken so much from him, but it would be worth it if he could keep the people he loved safe.

Whump! Reid was jolted from his thoughts by the sound of a car door slamming. Apparently wherever Psia was meeting Doyle was only eight point four miles away from the hospital. Reid carefully opened the rear door and slid out of the car. He could barely hold back a grimace of pain as he was exposed to the sunlight. The medication the doctor had given him negated most of the negative effects of his ailment, but his eyes were still sensitive to the sunlight. Wishing desperately for a pair of sunglasses, Reid took a quick inventory of his surroundings. They appeared to be at a small airfield, only two commercial crafts were present on the tarmac. _Please tell me this isn't where the jet is._ He thought, praying that the team had unwittingly fallen into Doyle's hands. His worst fears were confirmed when he saw a black SUV pulling up to the airfield gate.

His quarry however, was heading in the opposite direction. _Where are you going?_ He silently asked, following the woman. The intelligence officer strolled past two hangars without a glance back. _This woman isn't very observant for a spy,_ Reid thought snidely. It wasn't until she had reached the final hangar that she glanced back, causing Reid to duck behind a gas tank. Convinced he hadn't been seen, Reid crept up to the window and glanced in. With shaky hands, he pulled out his phone and sent his first text.

Buzz. buzz. Buzz. Seaver's jaw dropped as she looked at who was contacting her. "Garcia, start a trace!" she shouted. "What's going on?" Morgan demanded. The three of them had met up after combing every inch of the trains and metros present in Boston. "Reid just texted me!" Seaver exclaimed, "He said: ' _I couldn't sit back while someone threatened the lives of the people I love the most.'_ Damn it Spencer! What the hell are you thinking?" "Call him!" Morgan ordered. "Don't need to!" Garcia called, "He's video-messaging Ashley's phone. Sorry that I hacked in." "Can you patch the others in?" Morgan asked. "For you Chocolate Thunder, I would do anything." "Hotchner," a voice answered. "Hotch, it's Morgan! Reid's sending us a video." With bated breath, they watched the live stream their colleague was transmitting.

At first there was a dirty window, but then the image sharpened, focusing on a young woman next to a small airplane. "Psia?" Prentiss asked, confusion tinging her voice. The woman she'd considered as both a friend and colleague glanced anxiously around the hangar. It was obvious that whatever she was expecting had not yet appeared. "Looking for something?" a deep male voice asked. Psia's features lit with elation as she ran into the arms of a tall, well-built man. "Jeremy?" this time it was Clyde's voice that held the confusion, "he's alive?" Psia and Jeremy kissed until they were cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat impatiently.

"Are you done?" the cold, regal features of Ian Doyle were cast into the light. Both Psia and Jeremy laughed, "What's the matter Ian? Feeling a bit lonely are we?" Psia asked. The Irish guns dealer rolled his eyes before retorting, "what have you learned?" "Your son is alive." Doyle flinched at his mole's revelation. "What?" he demanded. "Apparently Emily faked his death to get him away from you. She has him stashed somewhere in Virginia, they're going to him now." "They won't get far." Jeremy said chuckling, "not with the bomb I strapped to the underside of their jet."

"Did you hear that? Hotch? Emily? Get out of there!" Morgan urged. "Not without Reid!" Prentiss responded, her eyes focusing on the far hangar. It would be a five minute drive to get there, hopefully Spencer could remain undiscovered until then. "Very good." Doyle praised. "Best case scenario: they all die and the world is rid of Lauren Reynolds. Worst case scenario: I get a head start because they will no longer have a jet. I knew I made the right choice by recruiting you both fifteen years ago. Your information has done me well, but what of the good doctor? I have yet to hear you mention him."

Psia's reply was muffled by the sounds of a struggle outside the hangar. "What is that?" Doyle demanded. "Oh my gosh!" Garcia cried. One of Doyle's henchmen had been patrolling outside the hangar, and found Reid's hiding spot. The team watched helplessly as Reid was pulled into the hangar. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Dr. Reid." Doyle chuckled at the sight of his captive. He'd been furious when he'd learned Lauren's cousin had escaped, but fortune had placed the man back in his clutches. "I think I've decided that you have a death wish, Doctor." Reid gave a dark smile, further splitting his busted lip. "I think my team would agree with you, but I couldn't let your girl put the people I love in danger. So I followed her, it doesn't matter that you have me, my team knows about the bomb. You know, for a trained spy, she's not very observant." Doyle laughed, "You're right." Before Reid could blink, he'd pulled out a nine-millimeter and shot Psia, and then Jeremy, in the back of the head.

"Oh my gosh, Hotch he's got a gun!" Garcia shouted. "Garcia," Prentiss snapped, anxiety turning her voice to ice, "We're driving as fast as we can." "Put him in the plane, and make sure that he can't escape!" Doyle ordered. Reid's captors jerked his hands behind his back and bound them with two pairs of handcuffs. _Doesn't matter,_ Reid thought grimly, _I can get out of two sets as easily as I can get out of one._ No sooner than that thought had crossed Reid's mind that he heard,"check him for a pick!" "Liam!" his captor called to another goon, "come hold him while I check." _Please don't let him find it!_ Reid pleaded silently. A pair of calloused hands roughly patted him down before stopping at his watch. _Shit._ The hands removed the watch after a moment's deliberation. Reid watched as his only shot at being traced and getting free shattered on the concrete. "He's clean boss!" the goon called out.

"Reid!" he turned his head towards the voice calling his name. Prentiss, Hotch, and Easter were all running towards the hangar, guns drawn. "Shoot them!" Doyle hissed, raising the gun he'd just used to murder two people. Bang! Bang! Bang! The Irish weapons trader and his men opened fire on the three agents running at them. Hope began to swell in Reid's chest as he watched them take out six of Doyle's men. Now, instead of being outgunned four to one, they were only outgunned two to one. However, that hope quickly turned to horror as he watched Doyle and two of his men fire three rounds into the chest of Emily's friend from Interpol. Easter's eyes widened with shock before he fell to the pavement. "Clyde!" Prentiss screamed, running toward her fallen friend. Her momentary lack of judgement left her an easy target. "Emily look out!" Reid yelled, helplessly watching Doyle fire two rounds at his friend. Prentiss jerked back from the impact of the bullets, the light leaving her eyes. "No!" Reid screamed. His friend and family member had died because of him. He watched Hotch grab Emily and drive away; and then he saw nothing.

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	22. Chapter 22

**To Tannerrose5: Guess you'll have to keep reading. You're right about how the team treats him, it's disheartening at times.**

 **To ahowell1993: Enjoy!**

 **To everyone else: Keep on reading and reviewing!**

 **-Xoxo Elisa**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This is for fun.**

Chapter 22:

~6 Hours Later~

"How is she?" Morgan asked. Hotch glanced at him briefly before answering, "How would you be if you found out you had a cousin and then had to watch him get taken?" "I'd be a nervous wreck." Morgan answered. "Add on the fact she just watched her friend die and then took a bullet herself, it's a miracle that she can even function right now Hotch. Thank god she was wearing a vest." Hotch nodded in agreement, "it could have been a lot worse than a few cracked ribs. I've been trying to get her to go rest, but it's like she has only one purpose; to make sure we keep Declan out of Doyle's grasp and get Reid back safely." "Yeah," Morgan muttered, "get him back safely so I can wring his scrawny neck for pulling a stunt like that. What the hell was the kid thinking?" "I don't know," Hotch said wearily, "I can only guess that he somehow connected Psia to Doyle, and saw what the rest of us couldn't. Do me a favor Morgan, do not by any means bring that up with Emily."

"Don't bring what up with Emily?" Prentiss asked, glaring over at both of them. While the two bullets she'd taken hadn't done any serious damage, the impact had made it difficult for her to move around. Catching the concerned glances Hotch and Morgan sent her way she snapped, "I'm fine! We need to know what our next move is!" After the ambush, she and Hotch had met the team to regroup. While Garcia raced to book flights on the next commercial airline to Virginia, Hotch had taken a reluctant Prentiss to the hospital. A quick examination by the ER doctor indicated that nothing had been seriously injured, so they'd raced to the airport.

It had been four hours since they'd landed and managed to set up at a local FBI outpost, but not much had happened since then. Prentiss had called the safe house, where Declan was located, and told them about the situation. She'd agreed that, while there was no evidence that the safe house had been compromised, it wouldn't be a bad idea to move Declan to a new one. The knowledge that at least one of Doyle's targets was out of his grasp had relieved a small amount of her anxiety about the situation, but they still had no leads about where he might have taken Reid. "Emily!" Rossi's voice jarred her from her concern about losing her cousin, "we've got a lead."

Splash! A gallon of icy water awoke Reid from his unconscious state. "Emily!" he yelled, his latest memories washing over him. _He watched Doyle put two bullets in her abdomen. How her eyes widened and then rolled up in the back of her head. How Hotch used the SUV as a barrier to pull her body away from the gunfire. The gleeful look in Doyle's eyes, and then, nothing._ "It's you fault you know. She was trying to save you." Reid glared up at his captor. "My team will find me," he hissed, "And when they do, I promise that I will kill you."

Doyle chuckled at his captive's bravado. Lauren's cousin had surprised him, he'd expected him to break within minutes of torture, yet the doctor had held out. What was even more impressive was that he escaped, outwitting one of the most brilliant strategists, but that didn't matter. His captive had allowed himself to be blinded by emotion, and had fallen back into his hands. There would be no second chance for escape, he'd made sure of it. Instead of leaving his captive standing, Doyle had placed him in a wooden chair. Two pairs of handcuffs restrained the man's hands behind his back, while another two sets bound him to the chair. The only escape he'd have would be when Doyle finally decided to kill him.

"It's funny that you mention your team, Spencer." Doyle taunted him. "They're the reason I decided to wake you from your much needed nap." Reid's captor hit a button, turning on a computer screen in front of his captive. _Please tell me that's not what I think it is._ He silently begged. He was looking at a stone building entitled FBI Field Office, Fairfax, Virginia. Even without the sight of Morgan strolled out the glass doors, it was obvious that this was where the team had situated itself. "Why are you showing me this?" Reid asked quietly.

Doyle let out an amused chuckle, "Because I want you to choose Spencer. You see, my men were very careless when they were bringing you in here. They let themself be seen. See that five-year-old boy walking towards your friend?" Reid's eyes flickered to a small figure wearing an Atlanta Braves hat. "He told his mom about how he saw some men pulling a body into a warehouse. So obviously, she called the police. Your team was very interested by that phone call, enough so that they asked her to bring her son in for some questions. It's a simple choice really. My man is stationed on the roof across the street with a rifle, waiting to be told who to shoot. You get to choose, does he shoot that sweet, innocent little boy? Or does he shoot Derek?"

Reid's mind flickered back to Georgia, to another time when he had been forced to play God. He had chosen who lived, but had still watched the slaughter of innocents. It was not an experience he wished to repeat, but he had a feeling this was why Doyle had brought it up. To force him into an agonizing decision, let Doyle's goon shoot Morgan or an innocent child. A truly ironic one, considering how Doyle's revenge had come to pass. "Choose Morgan," he said weakly, knowing he would never be able to forgive himself for letting a child be killed.

An evil grin spread across Doyle's features as he asked, "are you sure?" "Yes." Tears sprang from Reid's eyes as he heard the shot, then a female voice yell "Morgan!" _JJ? Please no!_ The screen showed his best friend tackle Morgan into a bush. A series of shots rang out, peppering the bush when it became apparent that the first had missed. Finally, a long trail of blood flooded from the bush and onto the sidewalk; confirming that Reid had just gotten his two best friends killed. Click! Doyle turned off the screen and whispered, "I leave you to your thoughts." The tears Reid had worked so hard to hide now fell in full force down his cheeks. He thought about how Gideon had once told him that he was strong enough to not be broken, but that was not true. Watching his friends die, and knowing that he was the cause, had shattered him into so many pieces he doubted that he would ever be whole again.

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	23. Chapter 23

**Hi All! There's a forum link in my profile, so if you'd like to take part in my challenge be sure to check it out.**

 **To kbf: It's like you can read my mind!  
To tannerrose5: Guess you'll have to read to find out.**

 **To ahowell1993: I'm not that evil, or am I?**

 **To everyone else: Keep on reading and reviewing!**

 **-Xoxo Elisa**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This story is for fun!**

Chapter 23:

"Morgan! JJ!" Hotch yelled. They had all raced out at the sound of gunfire to find a rapidly growing pool of blood on the sidewalk, and their colleagues nowhere in sight. "Over here Hotch!" JJ's voice answered from a stack of bushes next to the stone steps of the precinct. Relief washed over the Unit Chief at the sight of his two subordinates sitting against the side of the building, looking relatively unharmed. "What happened?" he asked, pointing at the blood-stained handkerchief JJ had pressed against Morgan's arm. "One of the bullets ricocheted off the wall and grazed my arm." Morgan muttered, "Don't worry, Hotch. It's just a flesh wound." "Then why is there so much blood?" Hotch demanded. Morgan and JJ exchanged sheepish looks before JJ answered, I might've combined red food coloring with a gallon of water to make it look like the unsub had fatally wounded both of us." Hotch gaped at them for a moment before glancing back at the sidewalk. Now that the anxiety of losing two of his agents was gone, he could tell that the 'blood' on the sidewalk was not viscous enough to be real. "That was smart." he told the two. "We just figured the unsub would stop shooting if he thought we were dead." JJ told him. "It's probably what saved our lives." Hotch was about to agree with them when he heard Rossi yell, "Guys, get in here!"

"What's going on?" Morgan demanded as he, Hotch, and JJ raced into the bullpen. The three came to a halt when they saw their teammates crowding around Prentiss. "A note was dropped off for Emily while you were under fire." Rossi responded, "it's about Reid." "Well," Morgan said impatiently, "read it then!" He watched as both JJ and Seaver gripped Prentiss' hands in support. With a deep breath, she began to read. " _Dear Lauren,"_

" _I must offer my condolences for the loss of your friend, Mr. Easter. As much as it pains me to admit this, he was a very skilled operative and perhaps the only reason it has taken me so long to hunt you down. But that does not matter now. He's dead because of you, because of what you took from me. I must ask you Lauren, how many more must die because of your sins? How many more are you willing to sacrifice in order to deprive me of the one thing I have ever truly loved, my son? You know no harm would come to Declan if he was in my care, yet you still attempt to hide him from me. You should have kept him where he was instead of moving him closer to where you set up an outpost, it only makes it that much easier for me to take what is rightfully mine. The only difficult part will be you. You see, I have attached the GPS coordinates leading to Dr. Reid's location. It's up to you to choose, do you attempt to keep my son away from me or do you save your own family? Is blood thicker than water? I'd make my decision quickly, poor Spencer doesn't have much time left._

 _-I_

The letter fell from her hands. "We need to go now!" she said, desperately trying to control her emotions, "we need to get to Reid before Ian kills him. If he hasn't already." "What about Declan?" Hotch asked. Prentiss threw up her hands in frustration, "I don't know Hotch. I'd like to believe that we can make it to both of them in time, but there's no guarantee. You heard what Ian said, Declan is his son, he's not going to hurt him! But Spencer, Spencer is guaranteed to get injured. I got him in into this mess, I would never be able to forgive myself if he died because of me." "Emily," Hotch murmured, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You're not alone in this. There are six other people here who would be more than willing to give their lives for both you and Reid. Do not shut us out of this Emily! Doyle made this personal when he went after Reid, and we all want payback. Please, let us help you." "I just can't let anyone else get hurt because of me." she whispered. Morgan chuckled, "It's part of our job description Prentiss. None of us would be here if we were afraid of the risks." "My chocolate thunder is right!" Garcia said, JJ and Seaver nodding in agreement, "We are a family. Families don't leave each other high and dry just because something might be dangerous. We're going to get Reid back and save Declan, because that's what families do. They look out for each other." _For someone who thought they'd never have a family I struck gold with this one._ Emily thought, turning towards her team. "Suit up!" she said.

"A bheith ullmhaithe a long amach in deich nóiméad!" Doyle barked. "Chomh luath agus a leag muid le haghaidh ár 'aíonna', sinn ag dul amach." Reid watched his captor direct his plethora of goons around the warehouse. He'd split them into two groups: one to load a minivan with an arsenal large enough to outfit a small country, and another to line a pressure plate with enough C-4 to level the entire warehouse. Doyle's soulless eyes lit with a dark glee when he caught Reid watching the preparations. "Enjoying my work are you, Spencer?"

The knowledge that he had been the cause of Morgan and JJ's deaths had subdued Reid, but did little to dampen the fire in his eyes. "It won't work, you know." he hissed, "Your plan, using me as bait. They won't come. Not when an innocent boy's life is at stake. I'm not worth it." Doyle chuckled, "Maybe not, but your death should still be torturous for them." "So you are going to kill me?" Reid asked, already coming to terms with his impending demise. _At least I'll see Emily, Morgan, and JJ again. I'll be able to beg for their forgiveness._ "Did you ever believe I wouldn't?"

Reid snorted at his captor's incredulous tone, "I might be you and naive, but I am still a genius. It doesn't take a profiler to guess that a man so hell-bent on revenge would lash out at the object of his rage in any way he could. Since you can't get to Emily, you'll take it out on me. But let me tell you something, _Ian._ When you're lying on the ground, with a bullet in your brain, the only thing you'll think of is how you spent the last moments of your life blinded by vengeance." He let out a small gasp of pain when Doyle grabbed his hair. "For that," he hissed, "I promise to make your death as slow and painful as humanly possible."

"Scaoileadh!" he barked at one of his men. The goon walked behind Reid and, with a quiet click, released him from the chains binding him to the chair, while keeping his captive's hands securely bound behind his back. "Tabhair dó anseo!" Doyle called, pointing towards the center of the room, where the pressure plate was located. _That's not good!_ Reid thought, _last chance for an escape._ "Mmph!" the goon groaned as Reid's foot connected with his leg, but he did not release his prisoner. Instead he jerked him more roughly towards the pressure plate. With a hard shove, he forced Reid onto his back, securing Reid's cuffed hands to the eye hook in the center of the pressure plate. "Secure boss!" he called to Doyle. "You're going to blow me up?" Spencer asked in disbelief, "what happened to making my death as slow and painful as possible?" His captor grinned at him. "That's what this is for!" he assured him, pounding a metal stake against his palm. Without a moment's hesitation Doyle plunged the stake through Reid's body.

"Declan?" Emily called, checking the safe house. "Declan? Can you hear me?" Right as she was about to lose hope she heard a soft voice call, "Emily?" Prentiss raced toward the voice, stopping at a small broom closet at the end of the hall. "Declan are you in there?" she asked. "Yes," the boy's tearful response was like a knife in her heart. "The agents told me to stay here until the bad men went away." "That's good buddy!" Prentiss said in as reassuring a voice as she could manage. Her next words were cut off by the unforgettable sound of gunfire and then Declan's terrified scream. "Declan? Declan! I need you to stay calm, okay? Just cover your ears and it will all be over soon. Don't open this door for anyone but me alright? I'm going to keep you safe."

"Will you Lauren?" Prentiss turned towards the familiar figure standing at the opposite of end of the hallway. While most people looked as if they were born to wear designer suits and ties, Doyle looked like he had been born to waltz around in heavy tactical gear. Kevlar covered his torso and he held a pistol in each hand. "Ian." Emily hissed, raising her glock. Doyle chuckled, "so you did survive. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised, you've always walked away from the most deadly situations. Why don't you drop the gun, and I might let you walk away from this one." "You'll have to put a bullet through my brain!" "That can be arranged!" Doyle promised, raising his gun. "Any last words?" "Yes," Prentiss said as she put two bullets into his skull, "have fun in hell!" Doyle's eyes widened with shock before rolling back in his head. "Prentiss?" she heard Hotch yell. "Up here!" Emily responded. She watched her boss walk up the stairs, eyes scanning for any potential threats. As soon as Hotch had confirmed all threats were neutralized, Prentiss opened the door containing Ian's son. "Hey buddy." she whispered, picking him up and carrying him out of the house. "You're safe now." Seeing Rossi racing towards her and Hotch, she handed Declan over to one of the surviving agents of the protection detail. "That was JJ," Rossi said, his face grim, "we need to get to the hospital now."

 **Translations: A bheith ullmhaithe a long amach in deich nóiméad. -Be prepared to ship out in ten minutes**

 **Chomh luath agus a leag muid le haghaidh ár 'aíonna', sinn ag dul amach.-As soon as we set up for our 'guests', we move out. Scaoileadh!- Release him!**

 **Tabhair dó anseo!-Bring him here!**

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	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or its characters. This story is for fun**

Chapter 24:

 _Blood. There's so much blood. Please, get it out!_ Seaver scrubbed her hands frantically together. She had raced to the bathroom as soon as she was able to, anxious to rid her hands of the red stains on them. After five minutes, the sink water was tinged pink from all the blood, Reid's blood. She fought against the memories of the day's events, desperately trying to keep her grip on reality. It was only after she had rubbed her hands raw, and rid herself of the blood that she allowed herself to collapse against the wall; her memories overcoming her.

 _Wee-woo-wee-woo. The sirens blared as Morgan wove in and out of traffic. "We're less than five minutes out." JJ said. "We, um, we need to be prepared for what we might find." "What we'll find is the kid injured, but alive!" Morgan retorted. 'I sure hope so.' Seaver thought, her eyes searching for the warehouse Reid was being kept in. "Pull in here!" she yelled, causing Morgan to take a tight turn. The tall brick building Garcia had pulled up before they left loomed over them as they exited the vehicle._

" _I'll take the front!" Morgan asserted, "JJ and Seaver take the back!" The two women barely had time to nod in agreement before their colleague sped off. "Follow me!" JJ said, quickly jimmying the locks. Seaver pulled out her glock before walking through the backdoor. The warehouse was bare except for a small structure in the room's center. "Reid!" she whispered, noticing the figure chained in the middle. "Clear!" Morgan called from the front of the warehouse. "Clear!" JJ responded._

" _Spencer!" Ashley called, racing towards the center of the room. "Seaver stay back!" Morgan yelled, throwing out an arm to catch her. "It's booby-trapped." he hissed, taking in the wires surrounding their friend. "Oh my gosh! Spence!" JJ cried, pointing at the stake protruding from his body. Bile rose in Seaver's throat, blood was seeping around the wound and onto the concrete floor. "We need to get that stake out!" she said, meeting Morgan's eyes. "He'll bleed out if we don't apply pressure to the wound." She watched as Morgan's weighed all possible scenarios._

 _Finally he nodded, "Okay, here's what we'll do. It looks like the booby trap has a spring on the bottom of it. Right now Reid's body weight is compressing the spring, but as soon as we take him off it will push the spring up; causing the C-4 to detonate. Seaver, I'm going to have you pull the stake out and try to keep Reid from bleeding out. JJ, I need you to be watching the door in case we have any unexpected company. I'll do my best to neutralize the bomb." The words had barely left his mouth before Seaver had stepped onto the platform. Heat flushed through her cheeks as she realized the only way she'd be able to keep pressure on the wound would be by straddling Reid. 'You don't have time to be a blushing violet Ashley!' she reprimanded herself, 'Spence is depending on you!'_

 _Placing one hand on Reid's chest for support as the other pulled the stake out as gently as she could. She could feel his heart beating abnormally slow under her fingertips before quickening when she pulled the stake out. Reid's eyes shot open, and she could tell the only thing keeping him from screaming in pain was the exhaustion from his ordeal. "Shh! Spencer, it's alright. We're gonna get you out of here!" she attempted to plaster a reassuring smile on her face. The last thing she wanted was to cause him to panic. Spencer briefly returned her smile, his heartbeat erratic under her fingertips. "Morgan, how are we doing?" she asked. "Almost there!" he responded. "We might be out of time!" JJ yelled, firing multiple rounds at the plethora of unsubs running towards them. "Got it!" Morgan yelled, right as Reid shouted, "Ashley lookout!" Bang! Bang! Seaver fired two shots at center-mass, effectively neutralizing the last unsub._

" _Thanks for the heads up!" she said to Reid, only to watch his eyes roll up in the back of his head. "Reid? Spencer? Spencer, stay with me! Morgan, where's the ambulance?" "Two minutes out!" was Morgan's frantic reply. Seaver's fingers flew to the pulse point on Reid's neck, only to find nothing. "There's no pulse!" she cried, starting CPR. Blood oozed from Reid's wound as she started compressions, desperately trying to keep her friend alive. It was only after the third set of compressions that she'd managed to get him back._

" _Miss?" she heard an unfamiliar voice ask. "Miss, please step away. Let us help him." She had stepped back, anxiously watching the paramedics take over the compressions she'd started. "He's lost too much blood." one of the paramedics said. "We need to get him to a hospital now!" "Ashley go with him!" JJ ordered. Seaver barely hesitated before scrambling into the back of the ambulance. The five minute drive to the hospital had been the longest five minutes of her life. In those five minutes, she had watched Spencer's heart stop another two times. Luckily, the paramedics had been able to get him back each time._

" _Make way!" One of the trauma nurses yelled, wheeling the gurney containing Reid into surgery. "Miss, you need to let go!" Seaver met the kind eyes of one of the nurses, "Please save him." The nurse gave her a reassuring smile, "He seems like a fighter. Do you know what blood type he has? He'll need a transfusion." "He's AB-negative." she whispered, "If you need a donor, I have type O-negative. You'd be able to use that, right?" "Yes, that's the universal blood type. Be prepared to have your blood drawn."_ They'd ended up taking two pints of blood, twice the normal limit, but it was worth it if it helped Reid.

"Ashley?" a quiet voice stole her from her thoughts. Red-rimmed eyes glanced up to find JJ standing in front of her. "Hi, Jennifer. Is everything alright?" she said weakly. The other blonde glanced anxiously around the bathroom before taking a seat across from her. "I just wanted to see that you were okay," she said, her blue eyes boring into Seaver's. "You really care about him." she murmured the statement like a question. "Why do you care?" Ashley hissed, "the last time I saw you, you pretty much told me that I would never be good enough for Spencer."

A grim satisfaction settled over her at the slight flush of the older woman's cheeks. "I'm sorry." JJ admitted, "I should never have said the things I did." "Why did you then?" Seaver asked. "I was jealous." The simple admission caused Seaver to look over at her in surprise, "what?" "I was jealous, because I felt that Spence had replaced me in his life. You know, he was absolutely miserable when I was transferred. It wasn't until you started at the BAU that he smiled again. It was like this giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why. It drove me crazy. I finally confronted him about it, and forced him to tell me. He told me about how he'd met this girl and she liked him for him. Not because he was an FBI agent or because he was a genius, but because he was this insanely sweet person. What I didn't realize was that you two worked together. I thought he'd just met you at his support group. I guess that's why part of me was so confused when he told me about how he'd shoved you away. Ashley, I need you to know that breaking your heart shattered his. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak, it was all he could do to properly function. And I got so, so angry. It was completely irrational, because he was the one who ended it, but I just couldn't bear to think about the monster that caused him to hurt like that. I guess that's when I realized that you were the Ashley he was talking about, and every day must have been like rubbing salt in the wound for him, I tried to make you hurt as much as he did. And I am so, so sorry for that. I have no idea whether or not you'll give him a second chance, but I hope you do."

Seaver sat in silence for a few minutes, processing what JJ had just told her before bursting into tears. The older woman didn't hesitate to grab her arms around the trainee and let her expel all the emotion she'd held inside for the past few days. "I was so scared," Seaver sobbed. "It was all I could do to keep the blood loss to a minimum, but it wasn't enough. I'm so scared that they won't be able to save him." "Shh! Ashley! It's okay. Spence is strong. He'll pull through. If there's anything I've learned in the years I've known him, it's not to bet against him."

The two women sat in silence, holding onto each other for dear life. It was only when they heard Garcia calling for them that they exited. "Is there any news on Spence?" JJ asked once they'd exited the bathroom. "Nothing, except that boy wonder just came out of surgery." Garcia replied. "Did you know he asked for no visitors?" "I'm not surprised." JJ said, guessing that Reid would want as little human contact as possible right now. "But it's not fair," Garcia cried, "I need to know that my junior G-man is alive, and safe, and." "Garcia, why don't you ask the nurse?" Seaver asked. The flamboyant computer tech pouted, "because it's not the same!"

"Fine! I'll go ask then!" Seaver stalked towards the nurse's desk, anxious for some news regarding Reid. "Excuse me," she murmured, catching the attendant's attention. "Can you tell me anything about a patient that just came out of surgery? Dr. Spencer Reid?" The nurse eyed her hastily replaced button down and replied, "you're one of his co-workers, aren't you?" "Yes, I'm Ashley." The nurse's head shot up as soon as Seaver mentioned her name. "You're Ashley?" she asked. "Yes," Seaver said confused, "why?" "Dr. Reid requested no visitors, but he's been calling out for an Ashley in his sleep. I know we do our best to respect patient wishes, but could you come sit with him? It might help him sleep better." Seaver nodded, "Yes, um let me tell my unit chief."

"What's going on?" Hotch asked, noticing how Seaver had approached him directly after talking to the nurse. "The nurse said no visitors, but apparently Reid's been saying my name in his sleep. Is it okay for me to go stay in the room with him?" The unit chief hesitated slightly before nodding, "Yes, let us know if anything changes." Seaver barely had time to utter her thanks before being directed towards Reid's room. The sight she found was similar to Boston, except the chair was plush instead of plastic. With a weary sigh, Seaver pulled the chair up to Reid's bedside and slipped her hand through his. It was going to be a long night.

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	25. Chapter 25

**Hello Friends. Sorry that it has been a while since I've published. I am attempting to rid myself of strep throat right now, and the exhaustion has made typing difficult. That being said, I am publishing a chapter tonight. Hopefully, I will have another chapter for tomorrow, but no guarantees. My apologies to everyone who has been reading Allies, I promise I will update that soon as well. As to the next story, once this is finished, the title will be "How not to." Be sure to look for it when it posts. Also, if anyone would like to collab on a story, be sure to message me. -Xoxo Elisa**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal minds or its characters. This is solely for enjoyment.**

He woke to a sense of deja vu. Similar to the first time he'd escaped Doyle's clutches, he'd woken to find himself surrounded by comfort. Thick woolen blankets covered his body, cushioning it from the bruises he'd sustained. Bandages replaced the heavy restraints that had encircled his wrists for the better half of the past three days, and his left arm was encased in a sling. His eyes flickered down to the unwieldy device, questioning why the doctors had placed him in it, it wasn't like he'd done anything to his shoulder. _Yeah, but you did get impaled, Genius!_ The little voice inside his head reminded him of the pain he'd forgotten. He'd managed to tell the attending nurse to not use narcotics, but he wasn't sure if the hospital staff had heeded his warning. _Guess they did,_ he thought as a sharp, burning pain pulsed below his shoulder.

"Uggh," a small moan escaped from his lips as the pain increased. "Reid? Reid! Are you alright? Spencer, talk to me!" a familiar voice pleaded. Reid's eyes flickered open to find an anxious Seaver sitting next to his bed. "What, what are you doing in here?" he asked in a voice that was barely a whisper. His companion's deep blue eyes met his before flickering away. "We needed to make sure that you were safe. A nurse let me in." she murmured. "And before you say anything, they were going to honor your wishes, but the nurse heard you calling out in your sleep. She thought you might rest more easily if someone was in the room with you."

Reid scoffed, "Yes, I would definitely be able to rest more easily with a visitor I asked specifically not to have in the room." He figured the acidity in his words would cause Ashley to simply leave, but he had forgotten how steely her resolve could be. The blue eyes he'd always found himself entranced by flashed dangerously as she hissed, "you know, you could be a bit nicer considering the fact that I saved your life." _Yeah, and you almost died in the process,_ he thought guiltily. Instead he met her eyes and stated, in a matter of fact fashion, "I never asked you to." Reid knew he'd gone too far as soon as the words had left him. Tears filled Seaver's eyes, and with a shaking voice she snapped, "Yeah, well I didn't ask to watch your heart stop, but guess what _Reid,_ life doesn't work that way!" "You watched me die?" he asked hoarsely. Seaver nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she said, scrambling to her feet. "I shouldn't have said that." "Ashley," Reid pleaded, watching her make her way towards the door. "I'll let the doctor know you're awake, they want to do more tests." Without a backward glance, she left Reid sitting in the eye of the emotional storm he had caused.

It was all Ashley could do to keep the sob building in her chest at bay while talking to Reid. However, once she was a safe distance from his room, she allowed herself to crumble and fully release the fear, anger, and heartache she'd been holding in. "Seaver? Ashley? Ashley, what's wrong? Is Reid alright?" A small whimper escaped from her lips at the mention of Spencer's name. She couldn't believe she'd told him he'd died; the goal was to rebuild his faith in the team, not tell him how badly they'd failed him.

She heard a soft voice asking for some space, and then the familiar warmth of someone's arms enveloping her body. "Just let it all out," JJ soothed, rubbing the younger girl's back. Seaver clung to the other blonde, desperately trying to remain afloat of the emotion she was currently drowning in. After what seemed like an eternity of sobbing, Ashley had found enough emotional stability to rejoin the outside world. Tear-filled eyes met concerned blue and deep brown ones as she whispered, "I screwed up badly." JJ and Emily exchanged worried glances before JJ asked, "what do you mean?" The trainee's eyes flickered away in shame, "Spence woke up and he saw that I was in his room. He was so angry that the hospital staff hadn't honored his wishes about not having visitors, and I just couldn't handle it; I snapped. I was just so pissed at him that I mentioned he could be a bit grateful since I'd saved his life. And, well he didn't like that. He told me that he didn't ask me to, and I said. I said that I didn't ask to watch him code in the ambulance, but sometimes life didn't work out the way we wanted it to. I didn't mean to, it just slipped out. I was terrified about him and there he was acting like he didn't deserve to be saved; that he didn't want to be saved. Then he asked if he died, and he was just so surprised. I couldn't believe that I'd let it slip, so I got out as quickly as I could. I'm so sorry."

She expected one, if not both of them, to start berating her for what she'd done. Instead, the two women wrapped her in their arms, providing her with a solace she'd desperately needed. "It's not your fault." Emily reassured her, "Reid would have found out one way or the other. Better it come from you than a stranger." "I just didn't want him to know how badly we'd failed him." she cried. "You didn't fail him Ashley, we did." This time it was JJ with the words of comfort. "You were the one who knew about his fail safe. You were the one he sent that video to. You were the one who could stabilize him long enough for the EMTs to save his life. Trust me, he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you." "I just don't know if I'll ever be able to get that look of shock out of head." she admitted.

Looking around, she noticed that her other teammates were nowhere to be seen. "Where are the others?" she asked. "We sent them home," JJ said. "They needed the sleep, and it wasn't like Spence was going to let them see him anyway. Speaking of which, did you get any sleep last night Ashley?" Seaver gave a brief nod, "the nurse pulled in one of the cots they keep in their break room when she realized I was spending the night. What about you and Emily?" Prentiss sighed, "not since the second time Reid was taken. And before you ask, yes JJ and I are also going to go home and sleep. Will you be okay here?" "Yes," Seaver gave them both a reassuring smile, "go home and get some sleep. I'll call you if anything changes." The two older women hugged her before leaving to regain the sleep they had been deprived of over the past two days.

Seaver felt her breathing increase as she approached Reid's room. _Okay Ashley, you can do this. All you have to do is make sure nothing happens to Spencer, you don't even have to go into the room._ "Agent Seaver!" a voice shook her from her thoughts. "Yes?" she asked, turning toward a plump woman wearing a lab coat. "I'm Dr. Michaels," the woman said, shaking her hand. "I'm the head of the ER and one of the surgeons that operated on Dr. Reid last night." "Oh, thank you for saving his life." The woman blushed, "there's no need to thank me, I was just doing my job. Anyway, I went in to check on Dr. Reid and noticed he was in an agitated state. Did anything happen that I should know about." _Shit_ , Ashley thought of lying but decided against it. "Yes, Dr. Reid and I argued, and the fact that he had coded slipped out." "I see," the doctor murmured. "Well, I figured I should tell you that Dr. Reid is not in his room at the moment. He mentioned needing to find emotional solace, and that a hospital room was not the place to do so. Would you like me to take you to him?" _I doubt that me being there will ease Reid's state of mind._ "Lead on."

"Of all the places you would be, I didn't think a prayer room would be one of them." Reid turned to find Seaver standing in the doorway. "Do you remember what you told me two months ago?" he asked. Ashley hesitated before answering, "just because I don't broadcast my faith, doesn't mean it isn't there." Reid nodded, "there's no quantifiable proof that God exists, yet here I am. Since I was a child, all I could think of was how, if God was real, he would let me suffer the way I had. I think that's the reason my mother had such scorn for religion. But as I grew older, I realized that God was looking out for me. There were so many times when I could or should have died, but a higher power brought me back, because there was still so much I needed to do."

"I should let you get back to your contemplation then." Seaver said, turning to leave. "Ashley?" she stopped at the sound of her name, "please come sit with me." Reid watched her weigh her options before taking the seat across from him. They sat in an awkward silence for minutes before they both blurted out, "I'm sorry!" "What are you sorry for?" Reid asked, uncertain of why Seaver would even think she needed to apologize to him. It wasn't like she was the one deliberately shoving the people she loved away. "I shouldn't have said what I said to you." He watched her eyes flicker to everywhere except his face. "Why did you then?" He knew it wasn't wise to push her, but he couldn't get her words out of his head. Ashley's eyes filled with tears and she whispered, "because I watched you die. We got to the warehouse and there was just so much blood. It was all I could do to stop the bleeding, until we could get you to a hospital. I felt your heart stop, Spencer."

Reid took her hand and placed it against his chest. "It's still beating." he told her. Tears ran freely down Ashley's cheeks as the familiar lub-dub pounded against her palm. She thought back to one of the first meetings she had been to with Reid, and how they had spoken about finding something to ground them when they felt unsteady. The strong, steady thumping of Reid's heart acted as an anchor, allowing her to unleash everything she'd experienced in the wake of the past three days. "I watched you die." she whispered, unable to shake off the macabre thought. "I'm still here." Reid assured her, "and I am so so sorry."

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	26. Chapter 26

**Hi Everyone. Here's the last two chapters of Family Always. My new story is also posted. I was going to publish a story about Reid's downward spiral after the "I would've," but no dice. How not to has been scrapped for now, hopefully my creative juices will flow for that. So instead, the new story will be Aftermath for ahowell1993.**

 **To tannerrose: Thank you so much for your reviews, I appreciate them so much.**

 **To ahowell1993: Enjoy**

 **To BJames: Thank you so so much!**

 **To hippiechic81: Possibly**

 **To everyone else: Enjoy these last two. It has been both an honor and a pleasure to write Family Always.**

 **-Xoxo Elisa**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal minds or its characters. I just wish I did.**

Ring, ring, ring. Prentiss woke to the buzzing of her cell phone. "Prentiss." she answered.

"It's Hotch." The lingering exhaustion that had been present in Prentiss' voice evaporated as the voice of her unit chief resonated throughout the room.

"Hotch? Is everything alright? Did Seaver call you? Did something happen?" _Please don't tell me that Reid managed to get himself kidnapped again._

"Everything's fine. Reid's doctor just called to say that he is awake. Apparently he's been driving the nursing staff insane by constantly asking when he'll be discharged." "When will he be discharged?" _And will he let any of us see him when he is?_

"I'm not sure, I'm heading over now. Would you like me to come grab you? I'm already on my way to get Morgan and Garcia."

"Yes," Prentiss answered, "I'll be ready in five minutes." She tossed her phone onto her bed before rummaging through her dresser. Luckily she'd thought to shower before falling asleep, so all she needed to do was dress and brush her teeth. She had hastily pulled on her boots when she heard a soft knock on her door. "Coming!" she called, grabbing her purse. Her ribs ached as she pulled the door open to find Morgan standing outside. "Ready?" she asked. Less than a minute later she'd found herself in the middle seat of Hotch's SUV. In addition to driving her, Morgan, and Garcia, he'd also grabbed Rossi; JJ had a meeting, so she would meet them there.

The rode in silence for the first five minutes, but then Garcia asked, "why are we going if boy genius doesn't want to see us?" Emily glanced over at her friend and was astounded by how haggard she appeared; the past few days had taken a far greater toll on the normally vibrant and optimistic technical analysis than she'd assumed.

Her eyes met Hotch's dark ones in the rear view mirror. "We're going because Reid is family, Garcia." he answered, "And we're going to be there for him whether he likes it or not."

"I'm going to go with not." Morgan muttered pessimistically. "Not after everything we put him through."

"You never know Morgan," Rossi chirped in. "The kid might surprise all of us." Out of everyone he was the most cheerful, if only because of how easily they could have lost Reid. In his opinion an alive Reid, who didn't want to see them, was exponentially better than a dead Reid, who still trusted them.

"It doesn't matter anyway." Hotch's no-nonsense voice commanded, "we're here." Unlike the previous night, where they had all leapt from the SUV as soon as it had come to a halt, the team deliberated before opening their doors. There was no point in rushing in to see a broken and openly-hostile Reid. _This is not going to turn out well,_ Hotch thought, watching his subordinates hover around the safety of the SUV. "Really?" he asked in disbelief. "You all just spent the past three days dealing with a narcissistic sociopath, yet the thought of seeing Reid scares you?"

"I think I'd rather deal with the sociopath." Morgan muttered, avoiding his boss' burning glare.

"Let's go." Hotch ordered, daring any of them to cross him. With wearied sighs, the team followed him into the hospital. They were all surprised to find a tired, but smiling Ashley Seaver sitting outside Reid's door. "Did he kick you out?" Hotch asked, already assuming the worst.

"What?" Seaver's eyes widened in surprise before realizing how the events of the past few days would skew the team's impression of her post. "Oh, no. We heard that you guys were coming, and Spence asked me to explain a few things to everyone."

Morgan snorted, "so he's Spence again? Not Reid?" He'd expected Seaver to be as careworn and worried as them, not how she was now. She looked tired, there was no doubt, but she also looked relieved; happy even. Obviously something big had occurred in the five hours they'd all spent sleeping.

Ashley glared at him before turning to the others. "The doctor told me that Reid will be able to leave sometime tomorrow as long as his vitals remain steady. They were worried about the risk of infection, but the antibiotics seem to be working. He's in a quite a bit of pain right now but, like the stubborn ass he is, he's still refusing any and all pain medication. It probably doesn't help that he keeps trying to get rid of that sling everytime someone isn't watching him; especially since he's going to need to wear it for the next three weeks. But other than that, he should be able to go back to work after being discharged."

"That's good," Hotch said. "What else did he want you to tell us?"

Dread filled all of their stomachs as they watched Seaver's smile fade. It was blatantly obvious that she did not want to deliver the message Reid had asked her to. "Um," uncertainty echoed through each syllable. "He's, um, he's willing to see you, but he has some rules."

"What are they?" Garcia squeaked.

"When you go, you will go one at a time. I will be sitting in the corner observing to ensure that the conversation remains civil, and that you don't over excite him. If he gets too agitated or his heart rate rises above 110, I kick you out. If, for some reason, he asks you to leave please listen to him and do so." Her voice trailed off as she came to the final condition.

"And?" Rossi prompted.

Guilt appeared in her deep blue eyes as she whispered, "and he doesn't want to see JJ, Morgan, or Prentiss. No exceptions."

"What?" Morgan and Prentiss both yelled. _Of course he doesn't want to see me,_ despair echoed through Emily's thoughts. _I'm the one who almost got him killed._ "Why doesn't he want to see us?" Morgan demanded.

The younger agent took his hands in hers and murmured, "It's not what you think Derek."

"Then what is it then?" Prentiss asked hoarsely.

"It's a long story, and I promise that I will tell you, but we need to wait for JJ. As soon as she gets here and I don't need to be with Spencer, I will explain everything. I promise. Until then, please be patient." Turning towards the others she asked, "who would like to go first?"

Rossi stepped forward, "I would if that's alright with everyone else. I think I would probably be able to set the kid's mind at ease, at least I hope I would."

"I agree," Hotch said before turning to the others. "Let's go setup in the lobby so we aren't intruding. Call us when Reid is ready to speak to the next person." Patting Rossi on the shoulder he muttered, "good luck Dave."

 _Alright Dave remember this is the kid, not some unsub you need to grill mercilessly. He has every right to be angry, what's important is that you keep him calm. He needs to come back to this unit, he'll be absolutely miserable if he doesn't._ With a soft woosh, he expelled the breath he hadn't known he'd held and followed Seaver into the room. The sight before him was a familiar one, Reid reading. The kid was propped up against four pillows, and using his knees as a makeshift table for the thick volume he held in his right hand.

"Hi Rossi." he said softly.

Rossi looked to Seaver for an indication for what to do, but found she was already curled up on the cot next to Reid's bed; she would not be any help. "Hi kid, is it alright if I sit down?" he asked, gesturing towards the plastic chair on the opposite side of Reid's bed.

"Please do." Spencer answered, closing his book.

Rossi cautiously approached the chair, determined not to startle his young colleague. However, he was surprised when Reid gripped his hand as soon as he had sat down. The two men sat in silence for a few minutes before Reid whispered, "I'm sorry."

The older man glanced at him in surprise. He had expected anger and hurt, a possible tantrum, not this. Once again Reid had surprised him.

"What are you sorry for?" he questioned, attempting to follow whatever path the kid's mind had travelled down.

Guilt-ridden brown eyes met his. "I shouldn't have said what I did to you, to any of you." Reid whispered hoarsely.

"Why did you then?"

"Dave," Seaver warned, glaring up at him.

"It's alright Ashley," Reid reassured her. "It's a valid question. When I woke up in that room I thought that I had made the right choice. That by agreeing to go with Doyle, I was preventing more suffering. I wasn't ready to die, but I would gladly lay down my life if it meant that the rest of you were saved. When Doyle told me that he'd murdered all of you, I was convinced that I would break. I wanted to break, but I knew that was what he wanted. He wanted me broken so he could break Emily, and I couldn't let that happen. I needed to convince that bastard that I didn't care; it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I needed to concentrate his attention on me instead of Emily because he would have tortured her until she was a shell. There are worse things than death, and I would rather it was me that experienced it instead of her. I needed her to hate me so she wouldn't come looking. You have no idea how much it scared me to learn that you'd all flown up to find me; I'm not worth that."

"Yes you are." Rossi told him.

Reid gave him a brief smile before continuing. "I thought it was over when I made it to the field office. I thought that I was safe, and that we could all put this past us. I was fully prepared to ask, to grovel for your forgiveness, but apparently life has a twisted sense of humor. I woke to the voice of one of Doyle's subordinates outside my door; I was still within his grasp. I wasn't sure if he'd learned the full extent of my ruse, but I couldn't take the chance. I needed to destroy your faith in me, it felt like the only way to keep you all safe. I said some things I didn't mean, some things that I regretted, and I am so truly sorry." He risked a glance at the older agent, Rossi's features remained in the impassive mask he always wore when they were on a case. _He must think I am utterly despicable,_ Reid thought morosely.

 _He went through all of that just to protect us?_ Rossi asked himself. _Will I ever figure this kid out?_ He sat in awe of the strength, integrity, and selflessness of the younger man sitting in the bed next to him. It was one thing to push a colleague out of the line of a bullet, but to sacrifice their own life so that their friends could live? To strive so desperately to convince a madman that the familial bonds were so weak that the end of their life would not draw their team into a trap? He pulled the unexpecting doctor into a tight hug, and whispered, "there's nothing to be sorry for kid. Nothing at all."

"Hey Dave." Hotch greeted from his post in the lobby. It had been an arduous task, but he had finally managed to pull Morgan out of his highly agitated state. His most senior agent was already worried sick about his friend, and the revelation that Reid did not wish to see him did little to put his mind at ease. Luckily Garcia had thought to bring a deck of cards, and had pulled him and Prentiss into a game of gin.

"Reid's ready to speak with you." Rossi told him, "go easy on the kid."

"I wasn't exactly planning on grilling him mercilessly, Dave." Hotch retorted.

Rossi sighed. "I know, he's just been through a lot."

Hotch gave him an inquisitive look, "What did he tell you?"

"He just kept apologizing for everything he had said; telling me about how he needed to deter us from trying to rescue him. Everything he said was a ploy to get Doyle to focus on only harming him. Reid knew that Doyle needed to break him to get to Emily so he made it seem like he despised us. And that's not even the worst part, the kid's convinced that he needs to beg for our forgiveness. He was willing to sacrifice his life for ours, and yet he believes he isn't worthy of our trust."

"No," Hotch murmured, "the worst part is that everything he said about us is true. We've used him and abandoned him when he needed him the most. How could he not hate us?"

"I don't know." Rossi said, "but he doesn't."

Hotch gave his friend a rare smile before walking up to Reid's room. He had already resolved himself to accept anything his subordinate told him; he only hoped that he could find some way to regain an ounce of Reid's trust.

"Hi Hotch." Reid said, giving him a sad half-smile.

"Hi Reid." Hotch answered. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got impaled, but it's not as bad as it was. The doctors were talking about alternating hot and cold packs to keep the inflammation down." His expressive eyes met Hotch's dark ones as he stated, "I'm guessing Rossi told you everything."

"About how you tried to direct Doyle's attention away from us? How you built a facade to keep us safe?"

The younger man nodded.

"Except I don't think it was all an act." Hotch said.

Reid's eyebrows rose in surprise. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Guilt flooded through Hotch's veins as he looked down at the younger man. In twenty-nine years of life, he had experienced more heartache and trauma than most saw in a lifetime; Hotch should have tried to shelter him from it instead of throwing him into it. "Everything you said was true. We do act like you are only a tool in our disposal, instead of a human being. I mean, I suspected that you were struggling with addiction but I did nothing because I was terrified to lose you. I should have stepped in before things got out of hand, instead of ignoring it for the sake of plausible deniability."

"I wouldn't have let you." Reid said sadly. "I didn't want you to lose your job because of me."

"But you should have Spencer," Hotch's voice filled with emotion. "You should never have had to go through that experience on your own. And I wish I had known that you were craving during the Savage case, I wouldn't have been so hard on you."

"You had a right to be," Reid said, "I endangered so many lives by doing what I did."

Reid's hand slipped into Hotch's, providing him with an unspoken support. "Did you really believe me when I said what I did when we were hostages in the ER?" he asked, not entirely sure he would be prepared for the answer.

Reid sighed before answering, this was a topic he had hoped wouldn't be brought up. "At first I did, but then I talked to Gideon. He told me about how you had nightmares, where you broke one of my ribs and it pierced my heart, apparently they were pretty vivid too. That got me thinking, and I realized that you wouldn't have nightmares like that if you'd actually meant what you said. I also knew that you weren't going to act like you were overcome with guilt because it wouldn't help the team. I was actually grateful that you didn't handle me so delicately after, it taught me to grow a thicker skin."

"What about Prentiss?" Hotch asked, "how did you hear about that?"

The younger man's eyes met his briefly before turning away. "It was on the plane ride home," he answered. "Prentiss had just finished talking to me and had gone to sit with you. I heard you ask her how I was, and she said that what had happened might have been more traumatic than if I had been left to my own devices. You asked her if she regretted following orders, and she told you no. She told you she would always strive to protect me, and that a few bruised ribs was a price she would gladly pay to keep me from suffering again. I don't think either of you realized that watching her get beaten, in my place, was worse than any form of physical torture I could have been subjected to."

"I'm sorry Spencer." Hotch said softly, "I just didn't want you to suffer any more than you already had. You're the youngest member of this team, yet you are always the one to be hurt; and for that, I am so so sorry."

"It's alright," Reid reassured him. "I wouldn't have chosen this job if I didn't think what I went through was worth it. And Hotch?"

"Yes Reid?"

"Can I have my badge and gun back?"

 **Please Read and Review!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: I do not own criminal minds or its characters. I just wish I did**

"Any news?" JJ asked, sitting in the chair next to Prentiss.

"Nope," she answered. "Garcia's in there now, but we still don't know exactly why Reid won't see us."

JJ sighed, running a hand through her thick blonde hair. "Ashley said she'd tell us though, right?"

"Yup, we just need to wait for her." The two women looked up to see Garcia tottering over towards them.

"Boy genius kicked me out." she huffed, "he said I was smothering him."

"Were you?" Morgan asked, amusement clearly written in his features.

"Yes, but that's not the point. He needs someone to take care of him; he's been tortured, and impaled, and I need reassurance that he's going to be alright."

"Of course he is baby girl," Morgan assured her. "This is Reid we're talking about. The kid didn't survive anthrax to be taken down by an impalement."

Garcia opened her mouth to argue, but was cut off by a soft voice saying, "hey guys." The four turned to find Seaver standing by the welcome desk. "Are you ready to get some answers?" she asked.

"Yes!" JJ, Morgan, and Prentiss exclaimed.

"I'll just, i'll just go get some coffee." Garcia muttered, desperate to escape what would surely be an awkward situation.

Three pairs of eyes watched Ashley's every move as she sat down. "Would you like to do this separately or together?" she asked quietly.

The three considered her question before answering, "together."

"Alright, in that case, Emily." She turned towards Prentiss and gripped her hands. "The first thing you should know is that Spencer does not blame you for any of this."

"He doesn't?" Prentiss whispered.

Seaver gave her a reassuring smile, "No, he doesn't. He knows there was no way you could have seen this coming and, while he wishes that you had told him about your past, he understands why you didn't. As to everything that he underwent while with Doyle, he wanted me to tell you that it was his choice and that he would do it again." She watched the older woman smile at those words, thinking about how that circle had finally come to a close.

"Why doesn't he want to see me then?" Prentiss asked. "If he doesn't blame me, why won't he let me see him?"

"Because he feels guilty." Seaver murmured, "he feels guilty about all of you."

"He has nothing to feel guilty about!" Morgan snarled.

Seaver raised her hands defensively, "I know that Derek, will you please let me continue?" Turning back to Emily, she said, "Spence felt guilty about things that were out of his control. I'm sure both Hotch and Rossi already told you all that he said what he did because he was trying to protect us all, but he felt especially horrible about what he said about you Emily. He knew his words would hurt you more than the others because you would believe him. He had already said something similar to you before, so you might see it as a second round to the confrontation you two had three and a half years ago. I told him that you would understand, but I'm not sure he believed me. He thought that after that, combined with the fact that he had broken the news about you two being cousins in the worst way possible, you would truly hate him. He honestly believed that you knew, he wouldn't have told you if he didn't. In his mind, having to find out your entire life had been based on a lie was one of the worst things imaginable. He couldn't believe that he had put you through that."

"But I gained a cousin in the process." Prentiss said softly. Out of everything that had occurred in the past three days, learning that Reid was her cousin had been the highlight. "Was there anything else?"

The younger woman nodded, "yes, he got you shot and Clyde killed."

"Really?" Emily asked incredulously. "Reid doesn't want to see me because he got me shot? Doyle would've shot me whether Reid was there or not. How on earth does he think that warrants him isolating himself?"

"I never said Spence was smart when it came to these things." Ashley told her, "I hope that helped."

Prentiss nodded, "I want to wring his neck, but yes, that did help."

"What about me?" Morgan asked impatiently. "Why doesn't pretty boy want to see me?"

"Do you remember that witness at the Virginia field office?" Seaver asked.

"The little boy? Yeah, what about him?"

"Apparently Doyle had a live feed trained on the field office. He had purposefully left a witness to Reid's abduction. He told Spence, he had to choose. There was a sniper on the roof, and he was either going to shoot the boy or you." Seaver gave Morgan a pleading look and whispered, "he couldn't let that boy die. He told Doyle to take the shot at you."

Morgan sank back into his chair. _The kid won't see me because he watched someone take a shot at me? Because he was between a rock and a hard place, and he chose to do the right thing._ "I would've done the same thing," he said softly.

"I know." Seaver turned towards the last person awaiting answers. "You really need to talk to him JJ." she said.

"I know, but he won't let me." Frustration leaked out of every syllable of the other blonde's words. "Why won't he let me?" she asked.

Seaver glanced up at Morgan and Prentiss. "Are you sure you don't want to do this privately?"

"No," JJ said stubbornly, "whatever you say to me, you can say to them."

"Alright," the younger woman sighed. "Spence knew you were pregnant when you went to visit him in the hospital. He wasn't sure if you knew or if Will knew, but he did. He said that you were glowing the same way that you had when you were carrying Henry. He also knew that you would do anything to protect him, even sacrifice your unborn child. He couldn't let that happen, he'd never be able to live with himself if you lost your baby because of him. He said what he did to get you home and far away from Doyle. When he watched you tackle Morgan, he was convinced that you had miscarried. That it was his fault, if he hadn't gotten into this mess then your family would have a new member."

 _Oh my gosh._ JJ could feel her friends staring at her in shock. She knew they needed her to say something, but she couldn't. Instead, she stood abruptly and raced towards Reid's room.

"JJ! Stop!" Morgan yelled racing after her, Prentiss and Seaver hot on his heels. The three of them watched their friend disappear into Reid's room before following her.

"Why are you in here?" Reid asked anxiously. He knew that Ashley was going to tell them why he didn't want to see them, but he didn't think they would come barging into his room after.

"You complete ass Spencer Reid!" JJ yelled before dissolving into his arms.

"Jennifer?" he asked hesitantly.

"You thought I miscarried because I shoved Morgan out of the way?" she asked. Reid swallowed nervously before nodding. "Spence," JJ tenderly stroked the side of his face. "I miscarried, but it wasn't because of what happened with Doyle. I had to fly back for a meeting, and my taxi was t-boned. I didn't lose the baby because of you, I lost it because of a twisted stroke of fate. It's not your fault Spence, how could you ever believe that I would blame you for losing my child?"

"Or for choosing a child's life over mine?" Morgan asked.

"Or for watching me get shot?" Prentiss added.

"You guys are my family." Reid whispered, "I couldn't live with any of you getting injured because of my actions."

"But you thought we could?" Prentiss asked softly. "Do you have any idea what your death would have done to me? To any of us? What the hell were you thinking?"

"John 15:13" Reid responded, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

Both Morgan and Prentiss stared at him before joining JJ at his bedside, "we love you too kid." Morgan said, basking in the relief that Reid was alive and still considered them to be a part of his family.

~6 Months Later~

"Hey Hotch, do you mind delaying the flight a few hours?" Reid asked.

"Sure Reid, what's up?" Hotch couldn't believe how much of a difference six months had made. His subordinate had fully recovered and developed a new aura of confidence. Gone was the skittish young doctor Hotch had met almost eight years ago. In his place was a man assured of the foundation of his beliefs, a man that would gladly give his life to save anothers. It was days like today that Hotch reflected on how lucky he was to have Reid, to have all of them in his life. The job was difficult, but worth it because it had brought him this family.

Reid smiled, "I just wanted to go see my mom and possibly introduce her to Ashley and Emily. The doctors said she was having a good day."

"Of course," Hotch said, "give her my best."

Reid gave his boss a quick thumbs up before snatching the car keys.

"Hey pretty boy!" Morgan called out, "where are you off to?"

"To bring Ashley and Emily to visit my mom." Reid replied.

Morgan chuckled, "I get why you're bringing Prentiss, given that she's your cousin and all. But why Ashley?"

"Because we've been in a serious relationship for six months Derek," Reid retorted. "Usually you bring your girlfriend to meet your parents after six months."

"Does Rossi know that?" JJ teased.

"Yup," Reid smirked, "he told me he'd break my leg if I broke her heart."

"You never told me that?" Seaver exclaimed.

She went to kiss him on the cheek, only for him to steal a kiss. "There's a lot you don't know about me." he teased, wrapping his arms around her.

"Oh? You are in so much trouble when we get home." Seaver laughed before kissing him again.

"Really? Again? Do I need to hose you two down?" Rossi asked, covering his eyes in mock horror.

Everyone laughed at the older man's theatrics. "Come on," Emily herded the two lovers toward the door. "You can do that in the car, but we need to go now so we don't get stuck in traffic."

"Yes mom." Reid teased, ruffling his cousin's hair.

"Oh you are going to get it!" Prentiss yelled, chasing him out of the building.

The team watched with amusement as Emily tackled Reid and dumped the contents of her water bottle on his head. The genius held up his hands in surrender before hugging his cousin. It was moments like these where they all realized that no matter what happened, they would always be a family.

 **In the end, you'll know which people really love you. They're the ones who see you for who you are and no matter what, always find a way to be at your side. -Unknown**

 **Please Read and Review**


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